Entangled in a Missing Memory
by heathers-and-feathers
Summary: "Does it ever bother you? Not knowing who you were?" "No, not really. Maybe at first, but I was more concerned with who I could become." He turned to her, eyebrow raised. "Did Obito teach you that?" She smiled, "No... You did." KakashiOC
1. Chapter 1: Link

A/N: Hello readers! Yes, it has been forever since I posted anything, but I got the idea for this story in my head and had to write it. And let's face it, people, Kakashi needs some love~ And to answer the "Are you ever going to update your Ouran story?" question... Probably not, but if I get around to it I'll be rewriting what's there so far.

The inspiration for Chapter 1's title came from L'Arc-en-Ciel's song, and I'm not completely sure why, but you should go listen to it.

Please only use constructive criticism only! I'm very sensitive :(

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><p><em>Chapter 1: Link<em>

Kakashi remembered when they first met.

It was a typical day in Konoha when he and his team met for training that day. The air was cool and crisp, and spring's gentle showers had left the ground damp. It was still very early in the morning; the sun was just beginning to peek over the trees over the horizon. Minato-sensei appeared to be reading something, Rin was chatting away to Kakashi, and he was doing a great job of ignoring her. Everything seemed far more peaceful than usual. And that's when Obito showed up... with a little girl.

She was a fragile little child with short poorly cut, russet hair in a very tattered kimono, several years younger than himself, hiding herself behind Obito. Her plum eyes locked with his own, and he noticed fear and anxiousness hidden behind them. She ducked her head back behind Obito almost immediately, and said Uchiha paid her no mind. He seemed rather used to her odd behavior.

Kakashi had no idea what to make of her. Was she the daughter of some client for a new mission? He wasn't aware that they were assigned to any mission. The sudden appearance of the strange girl didn't seem to bother his sensei and female teammate either, and it took him a while before he finally asked what the deal with her was.

Needless to say, Obito was quite thrilled that Kakashi had been left out of the loop for once. He had found her a few weeks earlier, he explained, wandering around, quite disheveled and even more confused. Obito approached her, and asked if she was lost, if she needed any help. He quickly discovered that she _was_ lost and did need help... She couldn't even remember her own name.

"So!" The serious mood was quickly dispelled as Minato-sensei grinned, tapping the little girl on the nose with his index finger. "Do we have a name for you yet, little one?"

The girl let out a strangled squeak and turned a lovely shade of crimson. Before she could answer, a certain goggle wearing ninja interjected, "Rairakku!" This sudden statement seemed to cause a bit of confusion all around. Rairakku? Lilac? It struck the rest of the team as a random choice, and a bit odd.

Rin was the first to voice this opinion. "Why on earth did you choose a name like that?"

A grin spread across Obito's face, ecstatic to explain the _deep_ meaning behind little Rairakku's name. That, or he was just excited to receive some acknowledgment from his crush. "Because of the flowers— the pattern, I mean— on her kimono. See!" He tugged at one of the flowers stitched into the young one's sleeve, as if to prove his point, but Rin could see that he was clearly missing something. Kakashi had noticed it too...

"Those _aren't_ lilacs," Rin retorted, with a bit of a blank expression on her face. Obito gazed at her in puzzlement, so she elaborated, "They aren't even purple!"

The Uchiha tugged a bit more on the girl's rugged clothes to get a better look. "Well... They're _kinda_ purple—"

"They're _pink_! _Bright pink_!"

"W-Well... Look! Her eyes are purple-ish!"

"You can't just make up a fake reason like that!"

"She likes her new name! Don't you Rairakku-chan?" Everyone looked over at the silent girl, who began to shake from the unwanted attention. Nevertheless, she managed a tiny smile and nodded.

Unfortunately, Rin wasn't the least bit convinced. She argued, "The poor thing doesn't know any better!" Rairakku looked awfully upset about this. Obito took notice of the tears welling up in the little one's eyes, and the fight carried on from there.

Kakashi rubbed his now throbbing temples in frustration as the argument continued on. All this girl had done was become a huge distraction. They were supposed to be _training_, and the two quarreling idiots sure as hell needed it. He opened his mouth to address the blonde man on this matter, but when his lazy eyes turned to his sensei...

Minato had stolen little Rairakku away from his other students, and didn't seem very concerned with them at the moment. He was holding the child up in his arms, grinning at her. "Don't listen to mean old Rin, Rairakku-chan. You're name is perfect for a pretty little flower like you!" The sensei tossed her up into the air several times, effectively replacing the tears on her cheeks with childish giggles and happy squeals. "You're so adorable~"

It was then that Kakashi finally gave up. Clearly nothing was going to get done today...


	2. Chapter 2: The Basics

A/N: Hello... Yeah... Don't EVER expect me to update a story this quickly ever again. Chapter 3 is going to take some time (I still haven't quiet figured out the beginning, FAIL). In other news... I had no inspiration for the title of this chapter :P

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><p><em>Chapter 2:The Basics<em>

"Obito-nii-chan! Obito-nii-chan!" a small voice called from the distance. Kakashi and his team had just returned to the village when they heard the tiny girl's voice only moments later. He had quickly learned after a few days of knowing Rairakku that she clung to Obito whenever possible. It was like watching a baby chick following a mother hen. Of course, the Uchiha got mad when Kakashi used that analogy, but he really didn't mind the amnesia girl's company.

At first, Rin learned to deal with her. Then she noticed Rairakku was looking up to her, and she became rather affectionate towards the little girl. Before they knew it, Rin was insisting that she and Rairakku spend some girl time together. (Although, the way Kakashi figured it, the only reason Rairakku liked Rin so much was because of how crazy Obito was for her.) As for their teacher, Minato-sensei cooed over her constantly, so much so that it was honestly a little embarrassing in public. He told her how cute she was, bought her sweets, and showered her with general affection. It was honestly a little creepy to Kakashi, but Rairakku, being an assumed orphan, loved all the attention she received.

And then there was Kakashi; he didn't know exactly what to make of her. All he knew was that she a distraction most of the time, and she didn't seem to like him that much either. In fact, she seemed fairly... frightened of him. He couldn't get within a ten foot radius of her without her darting off behind Obito for protection. Forget what happened if he ever tried to _speak_ to the girl. That, of course, did wonders for Obito's ego. It wasn't often that someone liked him more than Kakashi. Minato-sensei just found this hilarious. "Aw, is big bad Kakashi scaring you?"

The young girl's arms were wrapped tightly around Obito's waist seconds later. "Hey there, Rairakku-chan!" he chuckled, affectionately patting her on the head. "Did you miss me?"

She nuzzled her face into his deep blue jacket and nodded. "You were gone a long time," she pouted, releasing him and crossing her arms across her chest. "You missed something big!" She was jumping up and down in excitement, eager to share her good news. She pulled out a folded, crumpled piece of paper from the pockets of her shorts, and did her best to straighten it before handing it to her "nii-chan".

Obito took the paper curiously, and the rest of them crowded around to read (Kakashi's presence making Rairakku move back a few feet). His eyes went wide in surprise; he hadn't been expecting this. Nevertheless, a grin spread across his face as he spoke, "You... You applied for the academy? And you got accepted!"

Rin let out a squeal of excitement and gave her congratulations; she was so sure it was her influence that had led Rairakku to her decision. Kakashi knew it was all Obito's influence. Minato scooped the little one up and proceeded to explain to all the dangers of becoming a kunoichi in what was possibly the most soothing voice possible.

'_There is absolutely no way she'll understand how dangerous it is with Sensei explaining it like_ that,' Kakashi thought to himself. Which begs the question: what did Kakashi think about all of this? Not much. He seriously doubted a girl like her would ever graduate. Rairakku was small, fragile, and far too emotionally sensitive. She certainly wasn't hardened enough for shinobi life.

"Well, that settles it!" Obito announced proudly as he managed to steal the lilac from Sensei's grip, which was quite a feat. "I'm going to have to start training you soon! You have a lot of work to do if you want to become a ninja."

Kakashi scoffed at that, "Oh, please, she'll have an even less chance of graduating with _you_ teaching her." He earned a pretty fierce glare from the eight-year-old for that remark. She obviously didn't like it when anyone insulted her "nii-chan". Obito didn't appreciate that remark either, and soon Kakashi was getting his ear yelled off.

Just another normal day.

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><p>In actuality, the "tutoring" of the newest academy student fell mostly to Rin. When students first enroll they need master the basics first, and, because Kakashi scared the living hell out of her, it was decided Rin was the most likely candidate. She set aside time for the two of them so she could teach the little one. But Obito didn't like the fact that no one thought he was capable of teaching anything, so Rin finally agreed to let him take over the physical aspect of Rairakku's tutoring. Minato-sensei approved. He thought the two of them collaborating together to help train the little one would improve their teamwork skills.<p>

This particular summer day was a scalding hot one, and the high afternoon sun was not helping. Rin and Rairakku had found a very large tree with plenty of cool shade to study underneath. They soon found that Rin's help wasn't really needed with most of the academy student's homework today, so she pretended to busy herself with medical scrolls and the like. Kakashi was not too far away, training hard with Minato-sensei, so Rin's attention was mostly focused on him today. Rairakku pretended not to notice, and only interrupted the kunoichi's staring for the occasional question. As for Obito, he was up in the tree above them complaining about the searing heat. Rin finally chucked a scroll at him to shut him up, and it hit its mark.

"That was very good!" Rin praised after Rairakku finished her explanation of chakra. Rairakku turned out to be a very enthusiastic learner and seemed to absorb everything around her. She was eager to become a shinobi, but Kakashi's impression of her had not changed. He still doubted that she had what it took to be a kunoichi, and had no problem voicing it... often.

Needless to say, Rairakku impression of Kakashi had only worsened, but she tried to remain as positive as possible while he was around. "My sensei told me I was doing well. He says that I might get to move on from the basics soon!" she exclaimed proudly, a grin spreading across her face. "If I keep doing well, I mean." She bounced up and down in her spot beneath the shady tree.

Obito jumped down from his spot in the tree, rubbing his still sore cheek Rin had assaulted. "That's great, Rairakku-chan!" he exclaimed as he pulled her up into a mock headlock, ruffling up her auburn hair and ignoring her protests. "You hear that, Kakashi?" he called across the training grounds. "Her sensei thinks she's doing _awesome_! Ha!" Obito stuck his tongue out at the silver-haired nin for good measure.

Kakashi was out of breath from his training and the horrid heat, but he still managed to muster a retort at the Uchiha. "At the _basics_. Then again, that's more than I can say for _you_."

He earned a fierce glare at that."What did you say?"

"Hey," Minato stated loudly, bringing Kakashi's attention back to him. "Focus. You too, Obito." The blond shot each of them a disapproving look, his two students shrunk back, and the argument ceased immediately.

Kakashi apologized, "Sorry, Sensei." Minato just waved him off, and their training resumed.

"Come on, Rairakku-chan. We're going to be going on a pretty big mission soon, so the two of us need to train while we still can!" He released the plum-eyed girl and dashed off, leaving her struggling to keep up behind him. She never once asked him to slow down. She was supposed to progress to the point of catching him one day, or at least that's what Kakashi guessed.

He scoffed under his breath. Their "training" looked more like a childish game of tag unfairly pitted against the girl. His eyes followed her until she disappeared from view... which happened when something hard collided with his collar bone and sent him flying. He landed painfully in a crumpled mess on the other side of the clearing.

"You're not paying attention~" called his sensei in a sing-song voice, grinning all the while.

_Damn..._


	3. Chapter 3: The Rain

A/N:Woo! Chapter 3 already? I've never written a story this fast XD First of all I would like to thank my friends that so graciously helped me get out of the writer's block I got half way through this thing. I love you guys! Sorry this one is kind of sad : I DON'T OWN NARUTO, but I do own Rairakku :)

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><p><em>Chapter 3: The Rain<em>

The world was cold, freezing cold. Kakashi was soaked to the bone. His arms and legs were numb, but he figured they would be even if wasn't raining. It had been raining hard ever since headed for home. When would it finally let up? Hell, it had been raining ever since...

God, when would it just _stop_ _**raining**_?

Kakashi reached beneath his now crooked headband and traced the still fresh cut over his eye... his new eye. The pain that emitted from it had yet to go away, and with each throb the pain in his chest deepened. He doubted it would ever go away, and it had only grown worse as they past the village gate one member short. Some jounin he had turned out to be...

Minato-sensei had barely uttered a word the whole trip. To Kakashi, the silence was suffocating... absolutely suffocating. A choked sob sounded from Rin's throat. She was doing her best to hold back tears, to uphold the oldest of shinobi rules. For the first time since he had known her, Kakashi longed to brush the tears and water from the violet marks on her face, but he didn't. He couldn't... but he wished he would. He could barely even look at her, the girl Obito had loved so dearly.

'_And I abandoned her... I'm nothing but scum._'

God, he wished this war would just be _over_.

There was a lot that was going to happen over the next few days, and it would only make the pain worst. First, they would have to the Hokage's office and relive everything that had happened just for the mission report. Then Kakashi knew he would have to tell Obito's closest family members that he was dead. He knew he'd be there when little Rairakku ran up to them, grinning and asking where her "nii-chan" was. And he knew he would be the one to explain to her that the first person she ever remembered knowing, the first person who had ever truly cared for her, the person who _named_ her, the person who had _saved_ her... was gone. But the most painful part, at least from what Kakashi could imagine, would be when they held Obito's funeral _without his body_ to properly bury.

He knew it was his responsibility to do all of those things, as the team's leader, and he wouldn't run away from it.

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><p>The service was finally over; only a few people remained to pay their respects. Kakashi didn't see the point of lingering around. What respects were there to pay to an empty coffin? None. That vacant box certainly didn't do his teammate any justice. Obito's name carved into the memorial stone was much more fitting, so he began wandering through the still soggy streets in that general direction.<p>

He was only a minute or so away from his destination when he noticed it had started up again. The rain. It had been raining off and on for the past three days. Sometimes it would pour down hard, and sometimes it was just a drizzle.

God, it was _still_ _**raining**_.

At least this light rain, Kakashi discovered, seemed more comforting than those horrid downpours, but only just. It was a little less numbing, and the farther away the cracks of thunder were the better. Today they sounded different though, almost as if they were calling his name. Oh, wait... That _was_ someone calling his name; he was just too dazed to realize it immediately. Kakashi turned his stiff neck to see Rin jogging up behind him, a worried look plastered on her face. He didn't know exactly what was wrong, but he didn't bother asking. Everything these past few days seemed wrong.

"Did you see which way she went?" the medic nin finally asked. Kakashi only answered with a questioning look. Who? "Rairakku. She disappeared about half-way through the ceremony. Don't you remember?"

Did he remember? The funeral had ended not ten minutes ago and he was already fuzzy on most of the details. He remembered standing next to Sensei and Rin, who had the little one in tow. Rin let her have some of her old clothes that fit the occasion, because Rairakku had yet to own anything like _funeral garb_. He also recalled her almost violent shaking. She hadn't wanted to be there; it was as if it made the fact that Obito was gone far too real, and Kakashi couldn't blame her. It wasn't until someone moved to comfort her— whether it was Minato-sensei or Rin he really couldn't remember— that she squeezed her way through the crowd and out of sight. He didn't see which way she had gone.

He shook his head, but that didn't seem to be a sufficient answer for Rin. She wanted to hear him speak, to give some sort of reassurance. "No... No I didn't." She wasn't very pleased by that answer either. Kakashi sighed reluctantly, "If I see her, I'll tell her you're looking for her."

Rin shook her head in obvious distress. "I just want to make sure she gets home okay. It looks like the storm will kick up again soon..." she trailed off. It was obvious what she wanted Kakashi to say, what she wanted him to do.

But that was something he _definitely_ didn't want to do. He didn't want to see the younger girl, and she sure as hell wouldn't want to see him. Nevertheless, after another long moment of silence, he forced himself to say, "If I _find_ her, I'll... I'll make sure she gets home." There was still silence. "... I _promise_."

That seemed to do the trick. Rin finally left him to his thoughts to search in another direction, a satisfied smile playing at her lips and a particularly annoyed Kakashi in her wake. '_Well... at least she's smiling again_...' Kakashi thought, as he continued his journey to where the memorial stone was. But what was she thinking? Ever since he had broken the news to her about Obito's death... Well, Rairakku had become even _less_ fond of him than before.

The image of Rairakku's poor confused, horrified expression from when he told her flashed in his mind. She had refused to believe him, tears pouring down from her eyes as she tried to jerk away from his grip. He had kept a tight hold on her wrist, and did his best to explain that he was telling the truth without yelling at her. Obito was _dead_. Death was a part of shinobi life, and if she was so eager to become one she needed to understand that. Although, he sincerely doubted she would continue her training after this.

When he had finally let her go, she ran. She ran as fast as she could away from him. That wasn't really saying much, Rairakku was always running away from him. Hell, the only way Kakashi could ever get her home was if he managed to _chase_ her in the direction of her apartment, and that certainly wouldn't look very good. He felt his visible eye twitch as he pictured that situation.

Yeah... hopefully Rin would find her first.

He soon discovered that his hopes were all for not. When he came to the clearing where the stone stood, to his disbelief, there was the little girl kneeling in front of it. He had found her first. Her face was still an awful shade of red from crying, and the rain had turned the rest of her into a complete mess. Kakashi noticed something in her hands; she seemed to be placing a few waterlogged wildflowers she found nearby in front of the marble memorial. Had she thought this was the best place to honor Obito, too?

Kakashi approached her, making sure the sound of his footsteps was obvious. The last thing he wanted to do was sneak up and scare her. Oh, wait, that was impossible. When she noticed him, she jumped a good foot into the air. "Hey," he muttered. It was the kindest greeting he could muster at the moment. "You should go home."

Rairakku didn't like that one bit. The girl huffed, scowled at him, and firmly planted herself on the ground in persistence. Well, this was odd. She wasn't running away, and her normally fearful look towards him had been replaced with anger and stubbornness. "Well... Maybe _you_ should go home!" she retorted, rather immaturely, which earned a deadpan look from the silver-haired ninja. Almost immediately though, the tough, infuriated demeanor she had set up dissolved into silent sobs.

There was a long moment where neither of them did anything, until Kakashi came and kneeled beside her. Why should he leave? He had come to pay his respects, too. Though, he did make a point of peering over at the sobbing girl every so often. It seemed hours before she finally stopped crying. Deep down... Kakashi couldn't help but feel responsible. If only he had just _listened_ to Obito...

"Come on," he sighed, after a particularly loud crack of thunder sounded overhead. "We should both go. We'll get sick in this rain. Here." He raised himself from the wet grass, hesitantly holding out a hand to help the lilac up.

At last, Rairakku seemed to agree with him, but she didn't take his hand. "I don't need any help! Not from _you_!" she yelled as she tried to push him away with all her might, but Kakashi grabbed each of her wrists. She struggled against his tight grip. "Let go!"

But he didn't let her go. Instead, he pulled her tight against his chest, and hoped that she would just quit squirming about. He sensed that her lack of movement now was mostly out of surprise rather than relief at his comforting action; she hadn't expected him to hug her. Hell, _he_ hadn't expected him to hug her. "Are you done now?" Kakashi eventually inquired.

Apparently, Rairakku was not. "Let me go," she grumbled, wiggling and puffing her cheeks out to show her frustration. "I have to go. I have class tomorrow." Kakashi looked down at her incredulously, and she recognized that look. The way he appeared to be doubting her made her extremely angry. "_What?_" she hollered; she was punching Kakashi in the chest now with her tiny fists. "You think Obito-nii-chan—" She struggled with his name. "—would want me to give up on my dream just because he _died?_ 'C-Cuz if you do, then y-you're a _stupid meanie-head_ and you didn't know him at all!"

Kakashi froze as her words sunk in... and she still continued to punch him. "No... No, he wouldn't," he murmured. When Rairakku had stopped punching him he continued, "Anyway, I promised Rin I'd take you home." He held his hand out for her to take once again. "So? Are you ready to go?"

She stood firm, glaring at him and no doubt wondering whether or not she should punch him again. Kakashi moved his hand a little closer towards her, causing her to slap him away out of reflex. "Come on," Kakashi stated impatiently. "I'm just walking you home." This time she took it, ever so hesitantly, and the two of them started to walk together, Rairakku leading the way.

"Hey!" Rairakku squeaked from his side, sniffling and wiping tears from her face as she halfheartedly pointed to the sky. "The sun is coming out." The smallest ghost of a smile crossed Kakashi's masked face when he gazed up as well.

It had _finally_ stopped raining.


	4. Chapter 4: New Beginnings

A/N: Woo, Chapter 4! It's a bit longer than the last few. Nothing much happening with this one... but it's necessary to the story, I promise. :P

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><p><em>Chapter 4: New Beginnings<em>

Rairakku wasn't exactly sure how it happened, but ever since that rainy day at the memorial stone, there was a silent understanding between her and Kakashi. He would look out for her from then on in Obito's place, which basically meant checking on her more often than she would've liked and agreeing to train with her occasionally. At first, she didn't like his sudden involvement in her life. He was much better to deal with when she was constantly avoiding him like she used to. Besides, Kakashi could never replace her beloved Obito-nii-chan, but time heals all wounds, as they say. After a while, Rairakku found that she really didn't mind his company. In fact, one could say they had actually become friends.

... Or maybe not.

"_Kakashi!_" cried a very disgruntled twelve-year-old Rairakku. She tried all her might to reach for the document the Copy Nin had quickly snatched away from her, but he was holding her back with his other arm. Why did she have to be so much weaker than him? "Give it _back!_"

"No," came his reply in a stern voice. He had already opened the folded paper despite her efforts. Sometimes she thought that the sixteen-year-old delighted too much in torturing her. That wasn't true, of course; Kakashi just felt the need to mind her. "I'd like to see where you need improvement. Isn't the graduation exam coming up in a few weeks? Don't you want to be ready?"

"You sound like the strict, nagging parent that I don't remember ever having!" As much as she appreciated his concern, he didn't need to _steal_ her report card. "I know where I need improvement, you jerk! And I will be ready! _Without_ your help!" she fumed, trying with all of her might to seize it back.

But Kakashi wasn't listening. He was busy reading it over, paying particular interest in her sensei's comments, she noticed. "Hmm..." he muttered, as if he was in deep thought, which he wasn't. "Your taijutsu is rather... lacking, to say the least. I thought I taught you better than a 'D', Rairakku-chan."

"Hmph," she huffed under her breath, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Oh, please... Like you could teach anyone anything..."

Kakashi made a point of ignoring her. "Clearly, you haven't been training hard enough," he stated as dragged her off by her wrist, despite her protests. "Come on, we have a lot of work to do."

The girl pulled her free hand through her now long russet hair. There was really no point in arguing with him, and she did need the extra training. Her sensei was right on the report; her taijutsu could use a whole lot of work. What kind of kunoichi could she be if her hand-to-hand combat skills were deficient? "Fine, fine," Rairakku finally agreed, altering her pace as to keep up with him. "You win."

"I always do."

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><p>"<em>HA<em>!" came a loud voice from the distant ground. It was a very crisp autumn day, and a certain silver-haired shinobi had decided it was a good day to be a little lazy. He had made himself comfortable in a particularly high tree when he heard a distinct voice from the ground. And that distinct voice sounded like it was laughing at him. Kakashi gazed down to see a little lilac gazing back up at him.

"Ha! You didn't think I could do it, did you? But I did!" Rairakku yelled, grinning with a sparkle in her plum eyes that Kakashi had never seen before. He could see why. She was waving a Konoha headband in her hand. "So, _ha!_ Hahaha!"

Kakashi jumped down from his resting spot, his sandal-clad feet landing next to her in the soft grass with a dull _thud_. "Now, now," he questioned innocently, shrugging his shoulders as he leaned back against the tree. "When did I ever say that?"

The new genin frowned, a pout evident on her lips. "When I was little. All the time!" she answered, sticking her tongue out at him immaturely. "And don't pretend like you never did."

"Oh, that, well," Kakashi replied smoothly, a smirk evident under that mask of his. "That was before I started training you." He let Rairakku deliver a sharp punch to his forearm, as he knew she would. When he looked back at her, there was a grin spreading across her face again. It seemed his teasing just couldn't interrupt her good mood.

"Your ego has gotten far too big, Copy Nin," she laughed softly, but it was cut short as he ruffled up her hair with his hand. She gazed up at Kakashi, more confused than irritated at his act of affection, and even more confused with the smile he was sending her. Then he said something she never thought she'd hear from him.

"I'm proud of you, Rairakku."

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><p>The anticipation was killing her. Rairakku tapped her foot repeatedly under her desk as she waited for her name to be called, earning a glare from a girl sitting next to her. She ignored her sour look and only tapped louder. Today was finally the day the russet haired girl could call herself a kunoichi of Konoha! It was proof that all of her hard work had finally paid off. There was so much excitement built up in her chest that she didn't know what to do with it. In fact, she had been giddy ever since her academy senseis had handed her the signature headband. She had spent the entire day before and a great part of the morning trying to figure out the best way to wear it... and bugging the living hell out of Kakashi.<p>

"If you don't know which way to wear it, just wear it the normal way," he had muttered irritably. He was proud of her at first, but her constant pestering had put him on his last nerve. Why had he agreed to walk her to the academy before he left for his latest assignment again? And when did she get so damn annoying? ("Does it look better this way? Or this way? Or _this_ way?")

Rairakku had huffed, seemingly offended. "Well, _fine_ then," she grumbled, tying the navy fabric around the back of her head and adjusting the metal plate in front to be as straight as possible. When her plum eyes met his obsidian ones again, she noticed his look was a contemplating one. "... What?" she snapped.

His head cocked to the left as he looked her over for a good minute. It was honestly a little creepy. Rairakku shrunk back under his gaze. Finally, he scratched the bad of his head, his visible eye curving up in his signature sheepish smile. "You know, it kind of looked better the other way."

The second after she fixed it on top of her head, pulling back her hair, she delivered a sharp punch to his arm.

"Team Four is-" the academy teacher called out from the front of the room. Rairakku didn't hear her name being called with that group, so she tuned out the rest of it. This was taking _far_ too long. Then a terrible thought crossed her mind. What if they never called her name? What if they had changed they had changed their minds and decided she wasn't good enough to be shinobi? (This, of course, was a completely irrational thought, but it was enough to have her really freaked out.)

Her sensei's voice rang out again, "Team Five: Rairakku,—" Her head snapped up. He called her name! Oh, thank _God_. That sudden freak out had been all for nothing. "— Akashio Hideaki,—" Rairakku gazed around the classroom. She had never really known any of her classmates. Towards the front row there was a boy with long, vibrant red hair tide back into a pony tail. He looked back at her, grinning and waving, his jade green eyes held a gleam of excitement that matched her own. She waved back; he seemed nice enough.

"— and Uchiha Otonashi." Both Rairakku and Hideaki scanned the area for the member of the infamous Uchiha clan. They found him sinking down into his seat. With his short, dark, unevenly cut hair and even darker eyes, he looked pretty much the way many of his relatives looked. Hideaki also gave him a big wave, and when he knew he was spotted, he waved awkwardly back. He didn't look like the person who was very comfortable with conversation, but he seemed to keep his cool. Otonashi sent the same awkward look towards Rairakku, and she grinned in response.

Hopefully the three of them would get along just fine.

* * *

><p>The three of them had gathered outside in a shaded corner of the academy grounds to get to know each other. Well, Hideaki and Rairakku talked, Otonashi was more of a listener. He answered in short, one syllable words and by nodding or shaking his head. It seemed as though he had been named "silence" for a reason. Even though he contributed little to the conversation, he appeared to be enjoying himself, and Rairakku couldn't say that she didn't like his company. Hideaki, she found, was much more open and rather fun to talk to.<p>

"So you're the girl with no past, huh?" Hideaki chucked merrily as he tucked part of his long bangs behind his ear. "I heard some of the girls in class talking about it. Is it true?" There was tinge of cautiousness in his voice, as if he was nervous he might offend her.

Rairakku found his discretion rather sweet, although she wasn't sure how she felt about people talking about her. Most of the girls in her class were pretty snobby and tended to avoid her. If they had said something about her, it probably wasn't very complimentary. "Well... Yeah, I guess," she stumbled, "I can't remember a thing from before I was eight. No one really figured out why."

Otonashi became a little more interested in the conversation, and Hideaki looked rather guilty. "Sorry," he mumbled, and an awkward silence fell over the group. Rairakku was about to explain that she really wasn't bothered by this and there was no need to feel sorry for her, when suddenly, a grin broke out over the red-head's face. "But look on the bright side! You can make all sorts of awesome memories with us!" The Uchiha nodded in agreement with him.

This time it was Rairakku's turn to grin. She turned to the silent boy next to her, determined to turn some attention away from herself. "So, Otonashi-kun," she started, and he sat up a little straighter to prepare himself. "Out of curiosity, have you activated your Sharingan yet?"

Otonashi shook his head, looking a little embarrassed by this. She felt bad for asking. Rairakku got the impression it a sensitive subject, and the boy was already uncomfortable as it was. Now that she thought about it, she really didn't understand how someone from such a large family could remain so reserved. All the same, he managed to muster up, "What about you, Hideaki? I hear your clan has pretty impressive eyes as well."

A smug look crossed the Akashio's lips at that. Whatever his family's ability was he certainly seemed proud of it, and the fact an Uchiha had just complimented it gave his ego quite a boost. "Well, actually, I think I'm starting to get the hang of it." He caught Rairakku's confused look and elaborated, "Oh, you see, my family this kekkei-genkai called Nottori, which basically allows the user to see through the eyes of the intended target, without detection."

He paused for a moment while she "ooh'ed" at him. "It's usually used on people, but we _can_ use it on animals. Though, to be honest, since animals' vision tends to be so much different than ours, it's given me a splitting headache every time I've tried that." Hideaki rubbed his temples as he remembered the painful experience. "And unfortunately, I still have trouble if the target is too far away..."

Rairakku giggled at the sudden deflate in that ego of his. "Still, that's really impressive, Hideaki-kun!" That brightened him up, and a blush quickly crossed his cheeks. Then, an abrupt realization hit her, and she turned her head to the sky and stood up. "Oh, guys! We should probably head back now. We've been here a while, and we have to meet our new sensei!" At that, the boys rose to their feet as well, and Team Five ran back to the academy together.

* * *

><p>"—And they're both really awesome! The three of us have been working pretty well together," the lilac finally finished explaining to Kakashi, excitement still evident in her voice. Since the Copy Nin had been gone a while, so Rairakku had taken it upon herself to tell him all about her first few weeks as a shinobi of Konoha. She, like most genin, found all of those D-rank missions to be boring (and kind of stupid), so she made a point to leave out all of those details.<p>

Kakashi responded with a half-lidded expression towards her, and she suddenly realized that she had been talking an awful long time and mumbled her apologies. "So, how was your mission? You were gone awhile," she murmured awkwardly, trying her best not to make it sound like she had missed him.

"It was fine," he answered, though he immediately waved her off with another subject. He did that a lot when he said mission included a great deal of classified information. "I hope your sensei is training you well. Who did you say your jounin instructor was again? Ryokuya Suzu? I don't believe I know her." Rairakku knew that was most likely a lie; Kakashi knew most, if not all, of the other jounin, and her new sensei was hard to miss.

"... She's probably the only jounin with _green-ish _ hair," she deadpanned at him. He continued to blink at her in mock-confusion. Apparently, he was determined to make sure he had completely distracted her. Rairakku sighed, "She keeps it kind of... half-way tied back..." He still stared pointedly at her. Damn, he actually did have her distracted trying to the think of a way to describe how her sensei looked. "And she's really tall, for a woman, you know?" That got no response from him either. "And she has... brown eyes? I think? Yeah, brown eyes."

"Ah, yes, I remember now." Really? _That's_ how he remembered her? By her brown eyes? Did he know how many people had brown eyes? Kakashi pretended like he didn't understand why she was glaring at him. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

Rairakku stuck her tongue out at him. "If you're not allowed to talk about it, just say so, Kakashi-baka," she stated, playfully pushing him away. He really didn't budge, though...

He feigned innocence once again, shrugging his shoulders and gazing off in a different direction. "I don't know what you're talking about." She pushed at him again, but made a quick step backwards. The russet haired girl toppled over to the ground, much to Kakashi's satisfaction. "You okay down there?"

"You're a _jerk_, Kakashi."

* * *

><p>AN: Well, That's chapter 4. I haven't started Chapter 5 yet so I don't know how long it'll be until the next update :) (I can tell you though... it might be sad... or that might be Chapter 6, I haven't decided yet.) Please review! They mean a lot!


	5. Chapter 5: Chuunins Goodbyes and Regrets

_Chapter 5: Chuunins, Goodbyes, and Regrets_

There was an oddly still atmosphere on this particular night. It was almost unnerving. Kakashi was the only one wandering the lonely streets. He had gotten to his apartment particularly late that night, and immediately noticed his door was unlocked. Part of the lock was particularly scratched up, as if had been badly picked. He entered cautiously, only to find most of his more useful books and scrolls missing. He had blinked and searched around in confusion, wondering who could have possibly stolen them. He found a note placed on top of his book shelf. It read, "_I'm taking these. I'll bring them back later. – R._"

The Copy Nin started up the stairs to her apartment building after he saw that the lilac's lights from her window, an annoyed expression plastered on his face. Normally, he really wouldn't have minded, but she did leave his apartment in quite a mess and so graciously hid his favorite series away. He spent a good five minutes frantically rummage around the apartment for them. The _Icha Icha_ books had been unceremoniously stacked beneath his bed, and there was another note stuck to their spines...

"_These are really icky and gross. Pervert. – R._"

... She just lost privilege to borrow his things.

His fist knocked on the door several times with no answer before he tested to see if it was locked. It swung open with very little difficulty, and the silver haired man peered inside. All the lights in the apartment were still on and there appeared to be someone collapsed on the floor of the living area. Kakashi approached rather slowly before noticing it was Rairakku's Uchiha teammate, Otonashi, sleeping rather askew on the floor. Kakashi's missing things and many other books were scattered about the small space. Rairakku was on the couch occupying the other side of the room, sleeping across an equally passed out Hideaki's lap. She was murmuring gibberish in her sleep. It seemed that the three sixteen-year-olds had been very engrossed in their studies.

A long sigh emitted from Kakashi's throat as he ran a hand through his silver hair. The chuunin exams were fast approaching, and seeing as none of Rairakku's team had past the last two times they had taken it, they must be preparing in any way they can. He slipped his hands beneath her sleeping form, lifting her from the couch with care. The girl stirred a bit against his chest, but otherwise remained asleep. He cautiously stepped over her Uchiha teammate as he made his way to put Rairakku to bed.

"K... Kakashi?" she murmured, half asleep as she felt herself being placed on her soft mattress. The lilac rolled over on her side and peered at him through half-lidded eyes. "Did you...? Did you come to get your stuff back? Sorry I stole them. I'll go... I'll go get them." She moved to sit up, but he gently pushed her back down.

He shook his head. "You can bring them back some other time. You should rest for now," he answered, pulling the sheets that were bunched up at the end of the bed over her. "You look exhausted. You've been training for a while, haven't you?"

Rairakku nodded in her daze. "We decided to spend the day physically training, and the... the nights studying. I think this is the first day all week we've gotten any... any sleep." Even saying the word "sleep" made her whole body ache for more of it. "I really want to pass this time, Kakashi," she admitted, though she really didn't need to.

"I know you do," Kakashi uttered as he sat next to her on the edge of her bed. His hand brushed her long reddish-brown hair away from her face. "Just make sure you're not this worn out by the time of the exam. There's no way you'll pass like that." Something that vaguely sounded like an apology to him was muttered into her pillow. The Copy Nin chuckled softly beneath his breath. "Go ahead and sleep now. You need it."

No need to tell her twice; she was out of it before he even finished his sentence. Kakashi doubted she would fully remember their conversation when she woke up in the morning. "Good night, Rairakku," he whispered from over his shoulder as he closed her bedroom door behind him.

* * *

><p>"Why am I doing this again? You know I'm not paying for your whole team, right?" Kakashi questioned. Rairakku had dragged him off to a local restaurant on Tea Avenue for dinner, his treat of course. She insisted it was her reward for making chuunin. He wasn't exactly sure if she should really be out of the hospital right now, she was still pretty injured, but she seemed to be doing fine on the way to the restaurant. They were waiting on Hideaki and Otonashi, who had both passed as well, and Kakashi insisted he wasn't paying for either of them.<p>

Rairakku nudged him with her elbow. "Hush. You won't have to. I'm just making you pay for me," she started, pausing to wave over the said boys to their table. "Besides, Hideaki and I are buying Otonashi anything he wants today... And Hideaki can just pay for his." The said Uchiha was particularly bandaged up, his right arm was still broken, and he looked as if he had taken the full force of a very serious blow.

The russet haired girl practically jumped from her seat to help Otonashi to his, which he looked a little annoyed over, and afterwards pressed her lips against his purple-bruised cheek. That just made his face redden considerably. "Hey there, Oto-kun~" she chuckled at his expression. "Are you feeling better? We've been worried about you." He stuttered an embarrassed "fine, thanks" at that.

Kakashi was starting to wonder what had exactly gone on during their exam. Rairakku hadn't told him anything about this one. But there was a reason for that. She didn't know how she was supposed to tell him that if it hadn't been for Otonashi, she and Hideaki would be dead. No, she imagined that conversation wouldn't go very well. She had begged her teammates not to mention it in front of him.

Hideaki scoffed jokingly as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and sent her a very disapproving look. "Geez, Rairakku-chan, you shouldn't be hitting on your teammates in front of your _boyfriend_." He was always teasing her about the time she spent with Kakashi. Though, every once and a while, it seemed like he was really bothered by their friendship.

The lilac girl scrunched her face into a sour expression. The very idea of her and the Sharingan wielder in a romantic relationship seemed odd, not to mention illegal. "Ew, no, that's gross— he's gross— _you're_ gross!" she snapped. Kakashi shot her an irritated look, and she shot it right back. "What? Like I'd want to date a nasty pervert like you." Both her teammates tried to contain their laughter at that.

"...Do you want me to pay for your food?"

"Oh, but you're great!" Rairakku chuckled nervously, patting him on the shoulder. Kakashi was not amused. "Really, you're awesome! Haha... Just... be awesome with someone else." She quickly tried to change the subject. "So, Otonashi-kun! What do you want? I'm sure you're sick of hospital food. You can have as much as you want."

The Uchiha bit his lip and frowned, unsure of what to do; the last thing he wanted to impose on anyone. Hideaki reached over and slapped him between the shoulder blades, making him cringe in pain. "Don't worry about it! Like she said, get whatever you want! It's the least we can do. I mean, if it wasn't for you, we'd be—"

"—We wouldn't have passed! Hahaha..." Rairakku interrupted tensely before sending an intense glower at the red head. Hideaki tended to be forgetful, but he usually knew when to shut up. For some reason, the tact and discretion that he normally possessed were lost today.

He responded by mouthing an awkward "Wha..? Ohhh... Sorry..." His awkward glance at Kakashi didn't help either. The older male had obviously figured it out. The Copy Nin was sending her _that_ look. She was going to get a big lecture later...

* * *

><p>"Are you ready?" Hideaki asked solemnly, reaching for the shaking girl's hand. Neither of them had expected to spend the day visiting a crammed morgue. He knew they would need to support each other through this, but she jerked away from him aggressively. The Akashio softly exhaled, being as patient as possible, but she needed to understand that she wasn't the only one hurting right now. "He was my best friend, too, you know. It's hard, I know, but we might as well get it over with."<p>

"I'm sorry," Rairakku apologized, her voice so evidently shaking. Hideaki knew her well; those tears she was holding back were bound to spill over soon. "I just... How could this have happened?" It was a question no one seemed to have an answer to.

The red-headed eighteen-year-old took her hand again, this time without her protest. A heartrending smile stretched across his thin lips. "Come on," he said, gently pulling her through the awfully still hallway. His voice had started to tremble as well, and Rairakku knew him just as well. Soon the both of them would completely break down. How could they possibly go on without him?

Their grip on the others hand grew painfully tight as they were only steps away from the double doors that held a seemingly endless pile of corpses. There were two ANBU guarding the entrance, one in a wolf mask and the other in a hawk. The hawk held a list of names in his hand. Hideaki addressed him for the two of them. Rairakku wouldn't have trusted her voice anyway. Every part of her body was starting to feel numb and hazy. "Akashio Hideaki and Rairakku. We're here to ID one of the victims."

The hawk gazed over the document in his hand, flipping a page over when necessary. A moment later and he pushed the door open for them and let them pass without another word. Inside held morticians, their assistants, and even more ANBU in their respective posts, leaning again the walls. And the bodies— God, the _bodies_— were stacked up _everywhere_. An assistant seemed to recognize Rairakku and Hideaki, and beckoned them over. Rairakku recognized her as a nurse who had treated her injures on a few occasions. They must have needed all the help they could get down here.

She led them over to a table that had numerous bodies lying across it, hidden away by sheets. Rairakku felt her breath freeze inside her already tight throat. There was no way... absolutely _no way_ her best friend was among them. Her companion gave her hand another squeeze. Now neither of them were breathing. The nurse pulled back on the cloth covering the lifeless body second closest to them.

The lilac girl's knees gave way, and she would've fallen if it hadn't been for Hideaki's tight hold on her. "That's him," he stated quickly, averting his eyes from the sight of his closest friend. There was a deep slash on the right side of his jaw, angling down across throat, and continuing down over his collar bone and shoulder. His onyx eyes were still open, and his expression still held that of one who had knowingly run towards his death.

Rairakku felt herself inching closer towards him, allowing her hand to brush over his dark uneven bangs. She leaned down and placed a kiss on the cold skin of his forehead as a broken smile etched its way onto her face. "Goodbye, Otonashi..." At last, a few tears escaped her plum eyes and splashed against his handsome face. She took it upon herself to close his eyes for him. "I hope... that we'll get to meet again someday." Unable to compose herself any longer, Rairakku made for the exit as quickly as she could without sprinting, Hideaki taking off behind her.

* * *

><p>Kakashi became rigid at his post in one of the back corners of the morgue as his favorite russet haired girl entered. He watched on the sidelines as her already she grew faint at the sight of her slaughtered comrade, and he watched as she bravely faced that sight and said her goodbyes. As she ran from the room, Hideaki seemed to catch sight of him. His silver hair was a dead giveaway, even under both of his masks. Kakashi gave a jerk of his head in the direction Rairakku had run out. <em>'Go after her.'<em> The red head gave a single sharp nod back at him, and took off after the girl.

Hopefully, time would allow him to comfort her later, but Kakashi had to trust that Hideaki would take care of her for now.

* * *

><p>Hideaki didn't catch up with her until he reached her apartment, where he let himself in. Rairakku hadn't even closed the door in her haste. There was the faint sound of sobbing from her bedroom. That door hadn't been closed either. "Rairakku?" he called soothingly, looking about the cramped space. Her fragile form was curled up on the floor at the foot of her bed; the grief-stricken girl was crying hard into her knees. He knelt down in front of her, pulling her close to him.<p>

"I'm s-sorry, Hideaki" she hiccupped, looking up at him with shame. "F-for running out like- like that and for cr-crying like this... I-I-I just—"

He cut her off, "Don't be." His large hands wiped away the tears on her face as he did his best to smile at her. "You can cry if you want. He's worth every tear, I think." She nodded in agreement. "But even so, what do you think Otonashi would say if he saw you crying like this? And over him?"

A small smile cracked across her face at the thought. Rairakku raised herself off the floor and sat at the edge of her bed, looking intently at her hands. "He probably... Probably wouldn't say anything. He'd probably just pat me on the shoulder as uncomfortably as possible and avoid eye contact with me," she answered with the faintest bit of a laugh in her voice. It was true. Otonashi was great when it came to battle and missions, but he had been the most socially awkward person she had ever known.

Hideaki laughed at that, too, as he sprung up from the floor and sat down next to her. "And he wouldn't stop until you had stopped crying, and he wouldn't figure out that it wasn't because you weren't sad anymore. You would've stopped because you were starting to feel _just_ as uncomfortable as he did!" Then before they knew it they were both laughing and crying together and sharing stories about the great times they had with the Uchiha, their most precious friend. "Do you remember the time when—?" Somehow, it lifted some of the pain to talk about him like that. But after a while... they stopped talking.

There was lethal silence that settled on the two of them as the sky darkened into night. They settled back on her bed for hours in an awkward yet consoling embrace, senses misty from their tears. Then their eyes met, the air felt thick, and suddenly their current situation didn't seem so chaste anymore. Hideaki was the first to move, but not away. He closed the space between them and pressed his lips hard against hers, as if the keeping the distance had been painful. Rairakku responded with equal fervor, even though she knew it was wrong of them, that it was just a combination of their grief and teenage hormones, not romantic feelings. She knew that if they didn't stop now they'd both regret it in the morning. All of that seemed to push its way to the back of her of her mind. All she knew was that she was in pain and right here, right now being in his arms felt good, and she was willing to push off all of that regret until tomorrow.

_...Say so long to __**innocence**__...  
>...From underneath the <em>_**evidence**__...  
>...You taste like <em>_**Heaven**__...  
><em>_...But God knows you're built for __**sin**__..._


	6. Chapter 6: Haunting Distractions

A/N: HERE IT IS~! SORRY FOR THE WAIT!

_Chapter 6:Haunting Distractions_

Rairakku staggered out of the entrance of the Konoha hospital. Nurses called for her to come back inside, but they didn't faze her. She could release herself early if she really wanted to. Hospitals were so... clean and unpleasant, and being there just reminded her that she was stupid enough to get hurt on her last mission. She couldn't truly rest in that horrid atmosphere, feeling sorry for herself. Besides, there was nothing the staff there could do for her that she couldn't do herself. They treated her as if she couldn't change her own bandages and get up to go to the bathroom on her own! She wasn't a child! She would be better off at _home_, in her nice cozy bed, and with all the pain killers they had pumped into her veins, lying down sounded _really_ good right now.

Now if only she could remember her way back to her apartment...

That thought was interrupted when she came in contact with a firm, tall body. "Rairakku? What are you doing! You should be inside!" Ah, it was Hideaki. He must have finished his latest mission and come to see her. He still treated her the way a friend should, despite that God-awful relationship they had had a few years back. Rairakku was especially grateful for that.

Yes, the events of that distressing night when they were eighteen repeated many, _many_ lonely nights after that, in secret. Unfortunately, what were supposed to actions of comfort and affection never turned out that way. The two always ended up ashamed and felt worse than before when morning came. It got to the point that the two could barely even look at each other, and it was seriously affecting their field work. Finally, they both knew that it had to end; they made better friends than lovers anyway.

"Hide-kun," she stumbled. "Do you— do you think you can help me get home?" The russet haired girl leaned on his chest, hoping to spark a sympathetic reaction from the man. She was still suffering from chakra depletion, and the drugs were working far too well. The shallow, gauze covered the wound across her throat had stopped prickling, and the pain from the deeper, much more serious punctures above her navel had dimmed to a throb. Her right arm was held up in a cast and sling as well. "Please? I _really_ hate hospitals. I just want to go _home_."

It worked wonders. Hideaki sighed in defeat, "Fine, but I'm staying to watch over you. You shouldn't be left alone right now." He put an arm around her waist and pulled one of her own over his shoulders.

No one seemed to notice the two twenty-two year olds; shinobi were always injured, and seeing them stumble down the streets wasn't exactly an uncommon sight. Still, it was a bit of an awkward position, because of Hideaki's height and her lack thereof. In his late teens the red-head suddenly went through an impressive growth spurt. Rairakku figured he had to be at least one hundred and ninety-something centimeters, which made him about thirty or more centimeters taller than she was. Eventually, Hideaki murmured, "Oh screw this," and just threw her across his arms save time.

"Thank you, Hide-kun~"

"Not a problem, Rairakku-chan."

* * *

><p>"—<em> and we tried to explain that she wasn't authorized to leave the hospital, especially in her condition, but she wouldn't listen!<em>"

"_You may come in, Kakashi._"

There was what appeared to be a very frantic young med student facing the Hokage when Kakashi entered the Third's office. She looked like she had been the unlucky one chosen to deliver bad news to him. Even so, Sandaime motioned to silence the poor girl for the time being, and beckoned the Copy Nin forward. "How did they do?" he questioned.

"Well, I passed them, if that's what you mean," Kakashi answered, handing over the official report.

The old man took the folder and chuckled, "I'll have to tell Iruka he was worked up for nothing." Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that. His eyes fell over to the nurse who was now awkwardly playing with her fingernails. "This young lady—" the Hokage started to the Hatake, gesturing towards her. "— tells me that our friend, Rairakku, released herself from the hospital the moment they moved her out of intensive care, despite doctor's orders. They are worried for her safety."

The jounin ran his hand through his silver, gravity-defying hair with a confused look on his masked face. That certainly didn't sound like her. She was never one to be so reckless. A pang of worry shot through his chest. What had happened to her? When had she been put in intensive care? "I'll go see if I can talk some sense into her, Hokage-sama."

"Good."

* * *

><p><em>It was dark, very dark, and blurry. She could make out a figure kneeling in front of her, but her vision was so clouded that she couldn't make out a single feature on the person. Was she dreaming? She felt... weak, and there was a deep pain in her chest, a heavy feeling. And she was crying— no— <em>_**sobbing**__. She had never been so confused. What happened? Where was she? Why was she in so much __**pain**__? _

_The figure reached out and took her face in its hands. A soothing, feminine voice emitted from it, crooning to her. Unfortunately, she couldn't tell the entirety of what was being said to her. She was in a struggle trying to listen to the figure's words; for some reason, focusing was unachievable. It was as if part of her mind was working against the other, trying to keep the event a secret. At last, she caught words. They were impossible to miss; at no point in her life had a single person muttered those words to her._

_"— ... I love you... So very, __**very**__ much..."_

_Then, everything started to go... numb._

"...Rairakku?"

And then she woke up.

* * *

><p>The lilac woke with a start, her chest heaving and her heart pounding. Her skin was slick with cold sweat, and her vision blurred. Rairakku attempted to sit up in her bed, but there was a sharp, excruciating tear in her abdomen that made her cry out and writhe. One of her puncture wounds had torn open. A string of curses sounded above her, and she felt hard pressure against her shoulders. Was someone trying to <em>pin<em> her to the bed? The thought made her thrash even more, and the pain in her stomach increased. "_Rairakku!_ Stop! It's just me." The man pressed his large gloved hands to her wet, reddened face. Had she been crying in her sleep, too?

"Kakashi!" she shrieked. "W-Wha...?" What on _earth_ was he doing in her room, hovering over her like that? ... And she was only dressed in her black bra and boy-shorts...

The Copy Nin hushed her again; he was much more focused on the blood seeping through her bandaged midriff. "Damn it, Rairakku," came his frustrated groan, which did nothing to ease his friend's startled state. "Stay still. I'm going to have to change the binding on that." He didn't need to be told where her medical supplies were; he knew his way around her small apartment.

After Kakashi had exited for the bathroom, she took it upon herself to assess the new damage. But the russet haired woman wouldn't make the same mistake twice. She just lifted her head this time, using her good arm to pull at the top of the now useless bandages. Oh, holy _hell_... Rairakku let out an annoyed grunt at that. If it weren't for that stupid dream _none_ of this would have happened. It had been plaguing her on and off for months now, and it disturbed her more than she'd care to admit. If she hadn't gotten distracted thinking about it during that mission... God, why was she bothered by it so much? She knew why. It seemed _so_ close, like she could touch it, yet so far at the edge of her mind. Almost as if it was—

Kakashi interrupted her thoughts as she found him standing over her again, cutting away the old bindings. He was opening a bottle of something. "This is going to sting," he muttered bluntly, waiting until after he had started dabbing the wound. Rairakku grit her teeth as the cold burning sensation spread over her stomach. He was _clearly_ upset with her for something, but she was in too much pain to care why.

There was a long, irritating silence that settled between the two of them as Kakashi re-wrapped her midriff. When he was finally finished with that, she felt his hand ghost up her body until he reached the gauze taped to her throat. With a gentle tug, the gauze was removed, and the silver-haired man brushed his thumb across the sore cut there. "You should _never_ let the enemy get that close," he glared. As if she didn't know that already. He took a seat beside her on the bed. "So are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" the russet haired girl muttered beneath her breath, frowning. She couldn't help but feel he was being really... _gruff_.

"Well," he started, in a sort of forced-pleasant tone, as he inches a little closer. "You could start with how you ended up in ICU, then tell me why you left and how you got all the way here in this condition, and end with why I just found you—" He paused to reach out and brush more tears off of her face. "—like this just now." The last time Kakashi saw her cry like that was after Obito's funeral, and that was a long time ago.

She turned her plum eyes towards the ceiling. "I'm _fine_, Kakashi." But that wasn't an answer that satisfied him in the slightest. He was still gazing at her expectantly. Rairakku released a heavy sigh. There were very few things that she felt she couldn't discuss with her silver haired friend; this was one of them. "I've just been... distracted is all. I'll be fine."

"Distracted, huh? That isn't like you," Kakashi murmured as he leaned back against her headboard. Oh, god, he wasn't going to leave until he got the answer he wanted was he? "And that doesn't explain how you got here from the hospital. Or why—"

There was the slamming of a door in the front of her apartment that put the pair on alert. "_Oi, Rairakku-chan! I'm back! With food! Kaa-san made you some soup._" The last part made her giggle. She found Hideaki's closeness with his parents amusing for some reason.

The Copy Nin sent her a glare, and then redirected it to the red-head that had appeared in the door. That explained a lot. The younger man did practically anything Rairakku asked of him, and vice versa. He couldn't say no. Kakashi just expected him to show a little more restraint in a situation like this.

"What are you so pissed about?" Hideaki had no trouble glaring right back. "What? Am I interrupting something?" And Rairakku mustered the strength in her good arm to chunk her pillow at him for the suggestion.


	7. Chapter 7: Shocking Realizations

_Chapter 7: Shocking Realizations_

Rairakku found herself up particularly early that day. The crisp morning air kissed her skin as the sun was finally starting to peek over the distant horizon. The fingers of her now healed hand were gently plucking out blades of dewy grass next to her spot on the ground. There was a slight feeling of guilt weighing down on her heart; it had been too long since she had come to visit them... him, more specifically. There were too many thoughts circling her mind lately, and coming to the memorial stone helped her think things through. '_Obito... I feel so confused lately..._' She sighed heavily, ignoring the sound of footsteps that were approaching. '_... I wish you could tell me what to do._'

"Well, I didn't expect to see you here this morning," a certain silver-haired called from behind her. Rairakku felt his hand press down on her head, ruffling her hair about in a particularly annoying fashion. "I see you're doing better. It isn't like you to be awake at this hour."

"Well, it seems I've been doing a lot of things lately that '_aren't like me_,'" she murmured back. The lilac shook him away, trying her best to smooth out her damaged hairdo. She tilted her head back to look at his masked face. "I thought it was a good day to visit him."

A gentle smile entered his expression. "Hmm, really? May I join you?" the man asked, and she nodded in response. Kakashi sat down next to her in the wet grass. There was a comfortable silence that settled between them; the atmosphere around the memorial set that mood well. Kakashi was the first to break it after a long while. He began, "May I ask you something?" Rairakku gave him a questioning look. "Does it ever bother you? Not knowing who you were?" he asked warily.

She considered this for a moment. "No, not really. Maybe at first, but I was more concerned with who I could become."

He turned to her, eyebrow raised. It wasn't exactly the answer he expected. "Did Obito teach you that?"

She smiled softly, "No... You did." The look on her face only brightened when she noticed the shock in his visible eye. "What?" Rairakku giggled nervously, turning a little red. She nudged his shoulder with her own. "You shouldn't be surprised." Kakashi smiled back, feeling a little... proud of her. Letting go was difficult. '_Obito would be proud._'

* * *

><p>"You didn't have to pay for lunch you know," Rairakku muttered as she and her silver haired friend walked side by side on the street. The two had lost track of time in front of the memorial stone. By the time they both got up to leave it was well past noon.<p>

Kakashi chuckled, his one visible eye turned up in its signature smile. He appeared to be in an unwavering pleasant mood this afternoon, and to be perfectly honest it had gotten a tad bit annoying. What on earth was he so happy about? He ruffled her hair like he had done earlier that morning. His other hand reached for a certain book in his pocket, which he immediately snapped open. "It's fine. Besides, it would be rude to ask a lady to pay."

The russet haired woman felt her eye twitch at that. She was a _lady_ to him?Since when? Just when she was about to ask him (what he'd been smoking) why he was so goddamn chipper this afternoon, suddenly there was an orange, blonde mass blocking their path.

"_Oi!_ _Kakashi-sensei! There you are!_" The lilac looked the young boy over inquisitively. He must be one of Kakashi's new students that she hadn't been told anything about. Kakashi seemed to avoid talking about them with her. The said orangey genin was crimson from frustration, the whisker-like scars on his face twitching about. "You can't just blow off our training to go on a date with your _girlfriend!_"

Rairakku made a face at the claim; over the years it had been quite a common one, and one she pointedly ignored. It didn't settle well in her chest for some reason. The Hatake just sighed, scratched the back of his neck, and said, "Oh, that was today wasn't it? My bad~ My bad~" She sent a fierce glare his way. Not only was he neglecting his students, but he had also neglected to correct the young boy on his accusation.

A pink haired girl in a red dress, who Rairakku guessed was the female of the group, pulled the blonde away in a headlock, covering his loud mouth with her other hand. The blond thrashed against her, yelling muffled protests as she giggled nervously, "We-we're sorry for interrupting, sensei! Just go back to your date!" There were practically stars in her eyes at the idea her sensei had a romance. She turned and punched her teammate in the head so hard that he hit the ground. "Naruto-_baka!_ I told you to leave them alone!

"S-Sakura-chan—" The poor kid, Naruto, she guessed, rubbed the growing bump atop his head. A dark haired boy had joined the other two now, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his white shorts, muttering about their stupidity under his breath. Then he moved away with a "hn", more towards his sensei, as if their antics would rub off on him. Rairakku recognized him; it was impossible not to. He looked too much like an Uchiha.

Rairakku's eye was on the verge of gaining a permanent twitch. She looked over at the Copy Nin very slowly. Kakashi saw her look and shook his head. "Sorry about that," he chucked to his companion. "They're always like this." He paused to clear his throat before beginning introductions, "Everyone, this is Rairakku. Rairakku, this is my annoying batch of genin."

Naruto protested loudly that he was _not_ annoying, though it the russet haired woman didn't think it helped his case. Hey, at least he had spirit. Sakura ran up to her and introduced herself formally; she seemed excited. Whether it was to meet a more mature kunoichi, or to meet her sensei's "love interest", she couldn't tell, but either way Rairakku found it kind of sweet. The Uchiha boy just looked over to Kakashi with his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Kakashi, isn't she a little young for you?"

Their silver haired sensei actually looked offended at that remark, but Rairakku beamed. She spun around, grinning at Kakashi with a laugh. "I _love_ them!"

* * *

><p>A sickening crack sounded as Kakashi popped the joints in his shoulders. He had just finished a mission with Asuma today. A mission that didn't involve his genin for the first time in a while, and it had left the Copy Nin pretty stiff. Hopefully he wasn't getting out of shape; he'd have to work on that. Asuma suggested that they stop for a drink, and Kakashi saw no reason to decline. He felt in need of a little down time.<p>

Upon entering the bar, Kakashi noticed a group of familiar faces. Hagane Kotetsu, Kamizuki Izumo, and Mitarashi Anko were crowded about a table in the corner of the bar. Akashio Hideaki was with them, too, but from the amount of empty glasses around him and his disheveled appearance, it looked like he had been there for a while.

"Hey, Asuma, Kakashi, you wanna join us?" Izumo grinned, waving them over. "We're already down one." The two of them sat down at empty seats at the table, thanking him for the offer.

"Down one, huh?" Asuma noted as he light himself another cigarette. "Who are you missing?"

"Ah, Rairakku," he answered, sliding two full shots of sake their way. She had one drink and left. 'Shame she's such a lightweight." At the mention of Rairakku's name, Hideaki banged his forehead against the table. Kakashi was a little surprised. For such a cheerful guy, he certainly was a depressed looking drunk.

"Yeah, but you know how she is," Kotetsu chuckled. Kakashi guessed that was directed at him, sense he knew her the best. It was probably a good idea she went home; these group seemed like they could be a dangerous bunch to drink with. "She can't hold any of it. Poor thing'll have two shots and pass out on Hideaki over there." He gestured over to the red-hair brooding in the corner of the booth, who thumped his flushed face against the table once more.

The brunette to his right scoffed and turned his head towards his friend, covering his mouth with his hand. "Or _under_ him, whatever the case may be," he murmured, and Kotetsu laughed a little too loudly at that. The Copy Nin felt his visible eye narrow at the accusation—

"_Guys! SHHHHHH!_" Hideaki slurred hastily. He kicked at Izumo under the table, which only made their snickering increase. "Ya aren't suppose'ta know about that!" the redhead whispered quite loudly before turning to the others there. "You heard nothing." And his forehead met the wooden surface of the table again.

There was a silence across the others at the table as this statement. Kakashi felt a sort of numbness setting in. _What?_ They were just kidding right? If it was a joke, he certainly didn't find it amusing. A certain lavender haired kunoichi near him virtually jumped out of her chair after a moment. A grin was plastered on her face at the idea of knowing such scandalous gossip. "Woah, what? No. Way," Anko beamed. "Details, _now_."

"It's... not that big 'a deal, guys," Hideaki growled, not even bothering to lift his head. "It's not as if... we were the first friends ta ever fall into bed together. And b'sides, it was _just sex_," He turned his head to glare at her, pressing a finger to his lips. "We're not talking 'bout this. It's suppose... to be a secret. Shhhhhhh."

"No, you don't understand, _this is news_. Rairakku's usually a goody-two shoes about these things. Spill it," Anko continued giddily, hoping she could still get something out of Hideaki's drunken state. She was practically jumping up and down in her seat. "I wanna know how, when, and... _in where_. Go."

The silver haired jounin across from him started to feel a sickening, burning feeling bubbling up in his stomach. _This conversation could _not_ be happening_. There was no way that was true. He would have found out about it. Then again, she had been keeping things from him lately. Had this been the reason she was so distracted lately?

The red-head grumbled out an answer that put an end to that theory, but it definitely didn't make him feel better about this situation. "It was like... four years ago, okay? And then..." He seemed to just spot Kakashi sitting there with a disbelieving look on his masked face, and froze up for a moment, looking _horribly _guilty. It was obvious he hadn't planned on Kakashi ever hearing this. Hideaki pretended to stop to count on his fingers. "...four years ago! 'Been a long since—"

"— He's lying," Izumo interjected, smirking and taking another sip of his shot. Hideaki tried to stop him, flailing his arms wildly. "They were bangin' each other on and off for, what, two years?" he asked his friend.

Kotetsu nodded in agreement. "'Think it was about two years, yeah."

"Wait a second," Asuma interjected, turning Hideaki, clearly confused about something. "You and Rairakku were together, and you still hang out? _Every_ day?"

"...Pretty much..." The Akashio man seemed put off by the question. "Why? Is that weird?"

"Oh, it's weird," Kotetsu and Izumo chimed in unison, nodding. And the two proceeded to reveal all they knew about Hideaki and Rairakku's relationship in explicit detail. Anko looked positively ecstatic at this, and let out a very loud "_woo_" every now and then that made others at the bar look their way. Asuma just laughed and shook his head.

This. Could. Not. Be. Happening. Kakashi was getting a raging headache from this, as if his brain was refusing to process this information. Two years? Rairakku had been in a relationship for _two years_, and he hadn't known about it? How could he have not seen it? Suddenly a lot of things made more sense now.

Four years ago... That had been around the time of the Uchiha massacre, hadn't it? When they lost Otonashi... That must have been the trigger. After Otonashi's murder, he had noticed how the two of them clung to each other. He hadn't thought anything of it at the time. He thought that was the normal reaction to their loss. Did this start when they saw his body? When Kakashi told him to go after her... It would certainly explain why Hideaki looked so guilty.

There had been one night, he remembered, only a few days after the massacre when he had found her out in the cold. She hadn't been crying... She looked like she had no more tears left. In fact, she looked numbed, almost dead. Her beautiful plum eyes had lost their gleam... He prayed they would get it back. Kakashi had reached down to help her home, laying her across his arms. He hadn't bothered with the "Everything would be okay" lie; he knew how pathetic that method of comfort was.

"Kakashi?" she had murmured into his jacket. "Am I an idiot?"

He hadn't expected that. She couldn't possibly blame herself for what happened. "No, of course not," he had answered, holding her a little tighter. "Not at all." It wasn't until now that he realized... He hadn't been comforting her for the death of her friend.

He had been comforting her for what had happened between her and that red haired _bastar—_

"_Izumo, Kotetsu, shut up!_"

The black haired man scoffed at Hideaki's deafening outburst, "Well, next time the two of you want to keep a secret like that, try not being so damn loud." The comment made Hideaki's already flushed face turn crimson.

"Seriously, man," Izumo frowned. "You were shaking the walls." The frown turned into a grin, however, a few seconds later as he raised his hand to high-five the red head. "But, yeah, way to hit that." He considered this for a moment and returned it. Meanwhile, Kakashi pulled down his mask and completely downed a shot while everyone's attention was turned. He had a feeling he was desperately going to need alcohol for the rest of the night.


	8. Chapter 8: Tension

_Chapter 8:_

Last night was _horrible_, he thought as he made his way to a familiar apartment. There was the faintest dull throb in his temples from the alcohol, but nothing significant. Luckily enough for Kakashi, the conversation had eventually shifted away from Hideaki and Rairakku's scandal, but he suspected the mental images from the discussion would forever be in his mind. He was hoping to collect himself a little more before having to confront her. Unfortunately, the Hokage was currently asking for the both of them.

Kakashi spotted the red-headed man slipping out of her apartment as he neared the door. "Hideaki? What are you doing here?" he asked, frowning. After the conversation from the night before, he felt particularly suspicious of the Akashio's intentions.

"Quieter! Please!" the red head whispered back harshly, a hand massaging his throbbing temples. Kakashi should have suspected that he'd be this hung over. After all, Hideaki had blacked out last night. Izumo and Kotetsu, who were only slightly less drunk, had been charged with the task of getting him home. Then a thought struck Kakashi; Hideaki was acting _awfully _casual considering the conversation that had taken place the night before. Perhaps he had forgotten the whole thing after he passed out?

"Why does everything have to be so loud today? Damn." To answer Kakashi's question, he held up a bottle of unknown liquid. "Rairakku-chan has this little hangover cure she makes for me, after she yells my ear off for getting so smashed, of course," he chuckled before flinching. "And I thought it'd be best to check on her; that thing's still bothering her, you know? Anyway, what are you doing here?"

"The Hokage has asked for her," Kakashi blinked incredulously. "Something's bothering her? What do you mean?" She hadn't actually told him reason she had been so distracted lately, but apparently Hideaki knew.

The other man's emerald eyes shimmered. "Oh, she didn't tell you?" he inquired innocently, trying and failing to hide the smirk spreading across his lips. Hideaki would never admit it to anyone, but he often got jealous of the fact that Rairakku was seemed closer to Kakashi than she was to him. This was proof that the russet haired woman trusted him with certain things she didn't trust Kakashi with. "Well, I'd better not say anything then. It was really personal, and she'd probably get mad at me for telling you. Later!"

The younger male strode off towards the stairs with a particular spring in his step, leaving a slightly agitated Kakashi in his wake. How much did Rairakku not trust him with?

Rairakku exited the apartment only seconds later. Her turquoise shirt was a little disheveled, and she took a moment to adjust the front zipper straighten out its heightened collar. Kakashi frowned at her messy exterior as she smoothed out her black skirt, but shook those suspicious thoughts away. Now he was just being paranoid. Hideaki had most likely disrupted her sleep. "Oh, 'morning Kakashi," came her mumbled greeting, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

He cleared his throat, almost uncomfortably, in the lilac's opinion. "Hokage-sama is asking for the both of us."

That woke her up quick. "Really?" she chirped, a grin spreading across her lips. After all, if he needed her for a mission, this would be the first since her screw up that landed her in the hospital. Before that whole incident she had heard whispers of her being promoted up to special jounin, and she was so worried she had lost that chance. She took Kakashi by the arm hastily pulling him down the hall.

"Wait." Her excitement almost jerked to a halt. The Hokage was asking for the both of them? She turned to the Copy Nin, frowning, and he raised an eyebrow at her. "Are we being sent on a mission together?" she asked. "That would be a first..."

Kakashi shrugged, pulling himself from her grip. "'Not sure," he answered, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Maybe."

Well, he was being awfully short with her this morning. Rairakku narrowed her gaze at him inquisitively. He looked ill at ease. But wait, if they were going on a mission together... That might mean she would finally get to see Kakashi really in action. Better yet, _he_ would get to see _her_ in action. They hadn't ever seen the other in true battle, and when they sparred she knew Kakashi went far too easy on her. Maybe if he saw how strong she was, he wouldn't... Well, feel the need to waltz into her apartment while she was half naked, injured, and sleeping just to check on her.

Another rush of excitement bolted through her chest at the thought. She took Kakashi by the sleeve again. "Well, c'mon! Let's get going!" she cried. The lilac proceeded to drag him along again. This was going to be great!

* * *

><p>She could not believe this. She could <em>not <em>believe this. How long had it been since she was sent on such a boring mission? The lilac trudged behind a particular group of genin and their silver sensei. How long had it been since she had been on a mission with genin? The Hokage went on about how she needed to recuperate after such severe injuries.

Their task was an easy. Escort a weapons-maker from Water Country's son, young man named Shinkoku, to a port at the border of Fire Country. There they would rendezvous with shinobi from Kirigakure who were coming by sea, who would accompany him the rest of the way home. At least, Rairakku assumed, they were guarding someone somewhat important, or else there would be no collaboration.

Shinkoku couldn't have been younger than seventeen, and was particularly frail-looking for someone who was learning weaponry. Judging by all the bandages and burns from hot metal that covered his arms, Rairakku guessed he could be a bit of a screw up. It was no wonder his family wanted to hire protection for him. But he was extremely polite and cooperative, so none of his temporary guards found a reason to complain about him.

Naruto for one was ecstatic, considering what had happened on their last escort mission. He just kept waiting for dangerous excitement to happen; it was making Shinkoku extremely nervous. Kakashi scolded Naruto with a punch to the top of the head for upsetting the client. The young Uchiha boy seemed much more at ease, but that didn't stop him from being on full alert. Sasuke got into the occasional spat with Naruto, but that was to be expected. The lilac put herself between the two, and Naruto seemed to like Rairakku enough to calm down.

Kakashi was still acting as strange as he had been this morning. He continued to be very short when speaking to her, which only happened when she addressed him. She also noticed how he was keeping his distance from her. To be perfectly honest it was starting to irritate her. Did he not want her there?

"Rairakku-san," Sakura called from her side. "Are you alright? You seem a little down." The pink haired girl had been ecstatic that Rairakku would be accompanying them. She still had it stuck in her heart that Kakashi and Rairakku were together. Rairakku had finally given Sakura the "no, I'm not and never will be dating your sensei" talk, and after about an hour of being sorely disappointed, Sakura had calmed down and come to terms with it.

"Oh, it's nothing really," she chuckled, putting her hands up in a defensive manner. Had it really been that obvious? Rairakku needed to be more careful with trying not to show so much emotion on her face. Well, that and she also needed to work on not letting Kakashi get to her so easily...

* * *

><p>The sun started to set on their journey. Shinkoku's family conveniently owned a small house in the area that his family used for their business dealings. Kakashi figured his family must be pretty wealthy and very talented in their craft. There was only one bedroom with two beds, and their client offered it to both Rairakku and Sakura in a particularly gentlemanly fashion. Rairakku had left to get ready for bed first.<p>

"Hey, Kakashi?" he heard her call from the bedroom. Her russet covered head peeked around the hallway corner. "Can I talk to you for a second?" Kakashi nodded back, ignoring the whispering now going on between Sakura and Naruto on the other side of the room.

Rairakku caught the door, peeking around the corners to see if those pesky genin were planning on eavesdropping on their conversation. They seemed to be behaving in the other room. She closed the door behind her, and turned toward the silver haired jounin with her arms crossed. Kakashi looked rather confused at her actions, but she had a feeling he knew what this was about. "What is your problem lately?" she whispered fiercely. "You're acting... strange."

He arched an eyebrow at her in a particularly annoying fashion, looking her over for a moment. "Well, how do I put this," he answered after a moment. He should have tried harder to conceal the discomfort he felt around her ever since he found out about... He didn't want to think about it. The thought still made him feel ill.

She didn't give him a chance to choose his words. "I'm not stupid. You're bothered by the fact that I'm here," she growled back as she advanced on him, jabbing him in the chest with her finger. The plum eyed woman took in a deep breath. "If you have something to say, just say it. I'm twenty-two now. You need to stop treating me like a child."

He was a little taken aback; he hadn't known that his behavior would offend her this much. "I'm not bothered by you being here, and I haven't been treating you like a child," he sighed, gently pushing her hand away. "But you're right, I have been acting different around you lately, and I apologize for that."

That answer didn't seem to satisfy her completely. Rairakku's expression seemed to change from anger to concern and then to confusion. "Did I do something wrong?"

Kakashi took a moment to choose his words carefully. This situation could blow out of proportion if he wasn't careful. He could lie. He could say it was nothing. But he knew he should be honest with her about this; she deserved that respect. "I heard something... odd a couple of nights ago. Something I was surprised I hadn't been told before." The Copy Nin started to elaborate when Rairakku began to look even more confused. "Apparently, you and that teammate of yours were... together for a while?"

That's when her confused expression turned into a crimson, horrified look. She staggered back a few steps. "What?" she shrieked, before realizing the volume of her voice; her hand covered her mouth. "I-I-I don't what you're talking about!" The silver haired man shot her a look. If she was going to lie to him, she needed to not be so obvious about it. She shrunk back beneath his gaze. "H-How did you find out? No one was supposed to know..."

"So it's true then?" He spoke as if he was hoping to hear a different answer, as if what he heard was a lie. "How did it happen exactly?" He took a few steps forward, gently taking a hold of her chin to make her face him when she turned away. "Rairakku, you can talk to me, you know."

"There's n-nothing to talk about. That was years ago," she bit down her on lip and muttered; her voice was soft and pleading. "Can you please just drop it?"

Kakashi shook his head. He needed to hear this straight from her. The half-drunken confessions of her friends at the bar weren't enough for him. "Rairakku," he stated firmly. "Just tell me."

"I-I... Well," she fumbled. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation with him. This was something she hoped Kakashi would never find out about. Suddenly her fingernails started to look rather interesting. "It was r-right after the massacre, I guess. A-And I was upset, and he was, too. We were just trying to comfort each other, and then h-he kissed me, and it was... nice... Then I didn't try to stop him."

So it had happened just the way he had thought. Kakashi heard her swallow the lump in her throat; he could hear the discomfort and hurt in her voice. His chest tightened at the idea of her being in such pain over this.

"And then it just... _kept_ happening for a long time, whenever we thought we could use the comfort. And we tried our hardest to keep it just between the two of us," she continued. She was still for a moment, and he noticed tears hiding in her eyes. "We were using each other... And it was killing the both of us. But it's over now, so what does it matter?"

Kakashi finally asked the question that was really plaguing him. "Why did you go through such lengths to hide it from me?" He reached forward and bushed her bangs away from her face, letting his fingers wrap around a few locks of her soft hair. "I thought you trusted me."

"Did it ever occur to you that I might actually _care_ about what you think of me?" she snapped, jerking away from his touch. Her gaze bore into his, but she couldn't hold eye contact with him for long. He was looking at her far too intensely. "Look, I..." Her form and voice shook, and she buried her face in her hands. "...I'm _ashamed_ about what happened between Hideaki and me, and I thought you would be, too. I thought I'd lose you. Even though for a while we didn't get along, I can't remember _not_ having you in my life. And the thought of not having you there..." She paused and took in a deep, shaky breath. "..._scares me_."

The silence that followed was brutal; she wished he would just say something, anything. Perhaps she shouldn't have spilled her guts to him like that, she thought. But then she felt his arms slowly coil around her waist, pulling her tight against his chest. Rairakku felt her face slowly heating up again at the gesture. Her hands were pressed up against the fabric of his vest, but after a moment she allowed her arms to slip around his shoulders. Her height disadvantage put her just at the nape of his neck, and she took the opportunity to breathe him in. He was so warm, and he smelled like sweat and copper. The scent was so familiar to her that she couldn't help but relax in his arms.

"Do you really think I'd judge you like that?" he crooned. "You think I'd abandon you while you were feeling so alone? I understand; you were vulnerable and grieving." Kakashi's grip around her tightened and he spoke in a lower tone. "But what you and Hideaki had isn't the best way to be comforted. It looks like it only caused you more pain. From now on, come to me if anything's troubling you; we'll talk. I'll always be there for you. You shouldn't have to worry about that." The Copy Nin loosened his hold on her before looking into her eyes and smiling warmly. "Now, is there anything else you want to talk to me about?"

"Kakashi," she murmured, looking away to hide her reddened face. Why was it so hard to look at him tonight? It was _just_ Kakashi, and yet her heart was racing. And what was with him acting so affectionate towards her like this? "Well... Th-there's this one thing that's been bugging me, but it's stupid." She ignored the concerned look he was sending her. "I've uh, been having this dream lately..."

Kakashi listened to every word she had to say about that reoccurring dream as he kept a protective arm around her. Rairakku had to admit, it felt kind of good to be able to talk with him like this. Maybe she was wrong to have ever doubted him; he seemed so understanding during this moment. Maybe he would even being understanding if she told him about... _No_. There was no way she would talk to him about that.

Kakashi waited until she was finished before he spoke. "Hm, that is strange," he began. She didn't like how he was looking her right in the eye. "But is there a reason it's bothering you as much as it has been?"

Rairakku sighed, frowning as she looked downwards in thought. "It's just it feels like..." How was she supposed to explain this? "... Like something I should _remember_, but I can't."

The first thought that popped into Kakashi's head was perhaps something from her past was finally creeping out of her unconscious. On the other hand, if she hadn't remembered a single thing about her a past in the fourteen years that he had known her, he couldn't think of a reason why memories would suddenly come to her now.

"Well, thanks for listening, I guess" she chuckled. Now things were starting to feel awkward again. "Uh, it's getting late, and I feel kind of tired."

He nodded into her russet colored hair. When he opened his mouth to answer her, a sliver of light entered the room from the doorway. The two of them turned their heads to see what was happening on the other side. Kakashi glared at the three twelve year olds bickering there.

"Naruto," Sakura shouted, punching him hard on the head. "Why did you open the door? You've given us away!" So that was it. They should have suspected they'd be spied on after being in there so long.

Naruto interjected, "You said you couldn't hear what they were saying! _Ow_!" The blonde's back was flattened to the floor beneath Sakura's foot, and he squirmed and writhed to get free. He only got another stomp to his back by his other teammate.

"Usuratonokachi," Sasuke uttered beneath his breath and shaking his head. "Can't you do anything right?" Naruto got up to fight with the Uchiha for that insult, but they were both drawn to a halt by Sakura's cry.

The pink haired girl was pointing in the direction of the two adults inside and jumping up and down with excitement. "I knew it! I knew it!" she squealed, clapping her hands together. The two were still embracing tightly, and Rairakku realized what this must look like to them. She jumped up away from her companion, her heart pounding in her ears. "The two of you _are_ together, aren't you?"

"Shouldn't you three be watching the _client_?" Kakashi stated with a bit of a threatening tone to his voice. The three of them quickly scurried away, Sakura still giddy and the boys looking rather embarrassed. He turned to Rairakku, scratching the back of his neck uneasily when he noticed how crimson her face had turned. He cleared his throat to break the stillness between them. "Sorry about that. I'll let you get ready for bed." And with that he exited the room.

Rairakku's feet were firmly planted on the floor and pressed her hands to her chest, as if that would help to calm her heart down. She felt dizzy and faint... and confused. '_What the hell?_' The lilac staggered a bit, her thoughts jumbled. She was probably just embarrassed. That must be it. After all she just told Kakashi her most closely kept secret... well, her _second_ most closely kept secret. And the genin walked in on him... holding her like that. If they didn't believe that she and Kakashi weren't together before, they certainly wouldn't believe her now. How was she supposed to explain to them that that wasn't what it looked like? Honestly... part of her was saying that maybe, just maybe, it was a _little_ of what it looked like.


	9. Chapter 9: Odd Encounters

_Chapter 9: Odd Encounters_

The group arose bright and early to continue their journey to the border; they didn't have much further to go before they reached it. Their client had been surprising cooperative about waking up so early. It must have been routine for him. At least they were off to a good start. Today, Rairakku was feeling just as restless as Naruto was. She had to admit that she was itching for a fight. Maybe not even a fight, just anything that would distract her thoughts, which kept drifting to the events of last night. What was that about? Rairakku shook her head; she shouldn't forget what had happened to her on her last mission because she was distracted.

The lilac spent the short time they had set aside for breakfast explaining to Sakura once again that there wasn't anything happening between her and the silver haired jounin. Part of Rairakku didn't believe that was true though. After all, it's not like intimate encounters were an often occurrence between Kakashi and her, especially _that_ intimate. The very thought of him holding her like he had last night made her blood rush to her cheeks. Then again, she could just be over thinking the whole thing. She was upset, and Kakashi had offered her comfort, that was all. For some reason, that made her feel worse. Why did that make her feel worse?

The Copy Nin didn't seem to be dwelling on the matter. At the most, he might be feeling a little awkward from all the looks and questions the genin directed towards him. Those questions he ignored and left Rairakku to answer, much to her chagrin.

"Rairakku-san?" a certain young kunoichi asked in a hushed tone, pulling on Rairakku's black, arm length fingerless gloves. "Can I ask you something?" There was no fighting the eager look in the young one's eyes. The woman gave her a nod and Sakura continued, "Even though you and Kakashi-sensei aren't together—" Sakura said it as if she still didn't believe it. "— the two of you seem really close. Are the two of you childhood friends or something? How did you meet?"

Rairakku had to think about this for a moment. She noticed Kakashi glancing her way, wondering how she would respond to this. Naruto seemed to be listening in as well. "Well, I guess you could say that," she answered, scratching the back of her neck uncomfortably. She wouldn't want to divulge any information to the students about Kakashi that he didn't want them to know. "I have known him since I was a kid. As for how we met..." she trailed off. A smile grew on her lips as she thought of her beloved nii-chan. "We were introduced by a mutual friend."

Sakura seemed content with that answer; she seemed to be thinking of something else to ask. Rairakku's gaze met Kakashi's surprised one. He hadn't been expecting that. Kakashi remembered a time when she couldn't even think about Obito without tearing up. Now she was smiling warmly at the memory of him, and he couldn't help but smile with her.

The pink haired girl was tugging at Rairakku's clothing once more. "Well, if you aren't with Kakashi-sensei," she began, an excited grin on her face. It seemed like she was never going to get that idea out of her head. "Surely you have someone special back home, right?"

"Yeah!" Naruto interjected. He was on the opposite side of her now, holding onto her arm tightly. "'Cause you're so pretty, Nee-chan!" Sakura nodded in agreement with him.

"W-W-Well, no, actually," she stuttered, a blush crossing her cheeks. It was true that it wasn't often she got complimented on her looks, but she was blushing more at being called a sister. No one had ever called her that before. "I don't have a boyfriend. Actually, I don't have a romantic life to speak of." The two genin looked extremely confused at that statement. Rairakku cleared her throat awkwardly and continued, "I mean... I get asked out and go dates on here and there, but it's never been anything serious."

That was true, Kakashi thought as he listened in. He had always made a point of staying out of Rairakku's dating life, which wasn't exactly hard. He had noticed that she seemed to avoid things like dates. More importantly, she seemed to avoid the closeness that came with dating. Then again, she had been a sexual relationship for two years and he hadn't known about it... Maybe he was wrong about all of that.

Rairakku patted Sakura on the head. "Things like that get a lot more complicated when you're my age," she chuckled. "Enjoy the fact you don't have to deal with that for a while." She had to admit that she missed the days where she was too young to be worrying about romance. Back then it seemed like such a simple thing. Then again, she didn't have much to complain about. It wasn't like she had ever been in love before...

Rairakku's advice didn't seem to bring any comfort to Sakura though; she was looking longingly over at Sasuke, who looked completely uninterested in this conversation. "So, are you one of those girls who doesn't want to get married or anything?" she questioned.

Well, she didn't say that. Rairakku chewed on her lip in thought. She had always liked the getting married concept, the idea of falling in love and truly committing to it. She especially liked the idea of children. The thought of being a mother was particularly appealing, but she really doubted... A stabbing pain pierced through her chest at the thought.

"Don't hound her so much, Sakura," Kakashi interrupted as soon as he realized how uncomfortable the russet haired woman looked. Although, he couldn't help but wonder why she had been bothered by it; there was a look of pain in her plum eyes. His student shrunk back a little and muttered her apologies. The jounin tactfully changed the topic. "Rairakku, I can't help but notice that your hair looks like it's starting to curl," he stated, one eyebrow lifted while he looked at her curiously.

Rairakku took a moment to inspect her once straight hair, which has become slightly wavy from loose curls. "Oh! That just means we're almost there," she laughed, which only seemed to confuse the Copy Nin more. The lilac elaborated, "My hair tends to do this when I'm near the sea. I guess it has to do with something in the air."

At her side, Naruto became extremely pleased with this news and let out a shout. Soon the blonde genin quickly became distracted by pulling at a curl in her hair and watching it bounce back. "Haha, boing~"

* * *

><p>The port village they arrived to had a particularly pleasant ambiance about it. Rairakku enjoyed the sound of gulls and the smell of the sea air, even though said air made her hair go wild. Sakura assured her that the look suited her, so she didn't mind that so much. The market place had a strong fish smell that she didn't feel very appealing, so she picked up her pace when she walked past it. Other than that, the village seemed nice. While the others were admiring the village, Kakashi was busy looking for the group of Kiri nin they were suppose to rendezvous with. He finally spotted the group of four when they reached the boardwalk.<p>

The Kiri jounin accompanying the group seemed just as enthusiastic as Rairakku had when they started the mission. He was significantly older than Kakashi and her, which showed in the lines on his face and his graying hair. Kakashi signaled to the man and caught his eye, but he didn't seem very interested in Kakashi. Instead, his gaze did a double take in surprise at the young woman at his side before glaring fiercely, his hand ready on a hidden weapon. This didn't go unnoticed by the Copy Nin; he took a few steps in front of Rairakku to stay between them. Rairakku had assumed he was looking at the Shinkoku and took the defensive in front of the boy. Sasuke had noticed it, too, while the other genin hadn't. The Uchiha shifted his position as well.

Both groups halted in front of each other; the amount of tension that had built was unreal. "I take it you're the one we're supposed to meet with. Gorou, is it?" Kakashi began, pulling his hands out of his pockets to shake with the other jounin.

The Kiri nin calmed down when he noticed the client among them, almost dissatisfied. He removed his hands from anything lethal he had up his sleeve. "Yes, that would be me," he answered, taking Kakashi's hand and still glancing back at the young woman guarding the weapon maker. Gorou looked convinced of something.

Rairakku didn't like this, but they made the switch with the client nonetheless. Gorou showed fake politeness made small talk with Kakashi, asking how their journey was. Naruto and Sakura were saying their goodbyes to Shinkoku. The young apprenticed promised the Konoha nin if they ever came to Water Country to come see his family; he would fix them up with a hot meal and whatever weapons they fancied, at a discount of course. The Kiri genin accompanying Gorou seemed rather annoyed that everyone was taking their time, but kept their mouths shut, not wanting to be reprimanded. Rairakku spent this time next to the young Uchiha with concerned.

"Rairakku-san," Sasuke muttered to her while the rest were preoccupied. "Something doesn't seem right about that jounin. Is it alright to leave Shinkoku with them?" He seemed just as concerned as she did. Either that or he was just as itching for some action as the rest of them. His onyx eyes seemed to gleam at the idea.

His voice had startled her at first. This was the first time Sasuke had ever addressed her personally. "Yeah, I notice it, too," she answered in a hushed tone. "But it seems Shinkoku's family does a lot to help out the Kirigakure ninja. I don't think they'd harm him." Still, her whole being seemed to not trust that man.

As if he read her thoughts, Gorou smoothly stepped past Kakashi and towards her. "I'm sorry," Gorou apologized with a charming smile, reaching out to shake hands with the lilac. "But I can't help but feel I've met you somewhere before. What's your name?"

She took his hand carefully; there was something about him that didn't sit right with her. "Rairakku," she answered cautiously. "And I don't think so." She certainly would have remembered the creepy aura he was giving off. This old man wasn't hitting on her, was he? It dawned on her that this man hadn't been glaring at the client before, and she pulled her hand away quickly.

He looked slightly disappointed, and appeared to be pondering something. Then it was replaced with a look of realization. He had a look on his face like he had a secret he wasn't planning on telling. What was he playing at? "Perhaps I'm mistaken then," he admitted. "Well, we should be heading off now."

That's right; they had to go home by sea. Rairakku did not envy them. They said they're awkward goodbyes to the group and wished them well. As they left though, Rairakku could feel the Kiri jounin's eye on her back. Hopefully she would never have to meet him again.

* * *

><p>When Team Seven and their extra member made it back to the village it was well into the evening. Luckily, without the client with them, they were free to sprint back, which Sasuke and Naruto quickly turned into a competition. Sasuke won that race, and it put Naruto into a very unpleasant mood when they past the gates. Rairakku had pulled the blonde against her side in a hug that made the young boy turn red, and the promise of ramen from a pretty girl soon immediately put him back in a chipper mood.<p>

"You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into," Kakashi commented to the lilac as they sent the three genin home. They weren't exactly needed to turn in a mission report; besides, they needed rest for all the pointless D ranks they were going to be doing tomorrow. "That kid's stomach is a bottomless pit."

Rairakku shrugged, smiling warmly after the group. "I'm sure it's not so bad. He needed some cheering up," she responded truthfully. "And he's a sweet kid. They all are. Well, Sasuke would be if he wasn't so arrogant at times, but I like him."

"Hm..." The Copy Nin looked at his companion, reaching out and tugging at a lock of her russet hair. The curls had fallen from it only half an hour after they had left the port village, much to Sakura's dismay, and he had to admit it had been a good look for her. His visible eye smiled at her, and his tone was teasing, "I'd say you've become rather attached to my little team, Rairakku."

The twenty-two year old's cheeks turned rosy and she swatted his hand away a little too harshly. Rairakku hated to admit she felt uncomfortable with contact between them ever since the night before. Kakashi was looking at her questioningly. "I-I guess I have," she mumbled. "It's not my fault they're so... attachable—"

"_Kakashi! My Eternal Rival!_"

Rairakku came to an abrupt halt at her friend's side. That voice was unmistakable. Oh, _no_. She took a step behind Kakashi where she would be safer. Not to say she didn't like Gai, that wasn't true. He was very kind to her when they spoke, and she respected Gai as a strong shinobi. After all, not many could go toe to toe with Kakashi, but that certain green spandex-wearing jounin was a bit too... flamboyant for her tastes. It was hard to handle him in large amounts.

At least he was only interested in Kakashi for the moment. Perhaps she could slip away before she was roped into being the referee for one of their challenges. There was one thing about Gai she didn't mind though. He had known her so long that he didn't pester her about her "relationship" with Kakashi.

"Gai," Kakashi sighed, deadpanning. This again? "I really don't have the time for this right now. I have a mission report to file." He looked over at Rairakku who looked like she was waiting for the right moment to bolt for it and using him as a shield. Her short stature made hiding behind him easy. A chuckle escaped his lips; her actions reminded him of the first time Rairakku and Gai were introduced.

Kakashi had been fourteen, Rairakku was ten. He couldn't remember exactly what they were doing together that day, perhaps they had been walking back from the training grounds. Kakashi did, however, remember Rairakku pouting unhappily at the fact that he was forcing her to spend time him. He also remembered Gai making a rather dramatic entrance to challenge him.

"I have plans," he had responded coolly to the challenge to spar. He motioned to the girl next to him, who was giving incredulous looks Gai's choice of wardrobe. Kakashi hadn't ever mentioned to her that he had such an eccentric rival.

"Ah! I did not realize!" Gai had apologized in a very loud tone, turning his attention to the young one." Rairakku took a step back as he advanced. He didn't get the hint and leaned in too close for comfort, resting his hands on his knees. "Hello, there! I do not believe we've introduced. I am Maito Gai!" The strange boy grinned widely, the sun reflecting off his extremely white teeth as he patted her on the head, ruffling her short hair. "I did not realize you had such an adorable little friend, Kakashi!"

Rairakku had let out a startled squeak when Gai did that. She took one more look at the green clad teen before bolting to Kakashi. The little lilac had hid behind him, clutching the back of his shirt tightly. She cautiously looked over Kakashi's shoulder with wide plum eyes back at Gai, who looked disheartened and confused. "What did I do?" he had questioned.

Kakashi had looked at her in surprise as Rairakku pressed her forehead against his back. It was ironic how only a few years prior she was clinging to the back of Obito in order to get away from _him_. Perhaps this was a sign that she was finally warming up to him? "She's a little shy at times," he had explained smugly. "It looks like you've _scared_ her, Gai."

His rival's voice brought him back to the present. "But it has been far too long since we had a challenge!" he exclaimed. Gai finally noticed Rairakku standing behind Kakashi. A grin broke out on the man's face. "Rairakku! I am glad you—"

"We just had a challenge last week," the Copy Nin pointed out as he interrupted Gai. He scratched the back of his neck, turning around to face the russet haired woman behind him. "You can go now if you want, Rairakku," he chuckled. He knew how much she hated getting in the middle of these things. "This could take a while. I'll turn in the report myself."

"Well, if you're sure," Rairakku responded reluctantly. Kakashi nodded, but Gai looked like he was about to protest. She managed to slip away before he had time to interject. Besides, she was looking forward to a good night's sleep in her own bed again, which was something she hadn't gotten while on the mission. The lilac bit her lip in thought, Kakashi's actions from the night before still plaguing her mind.

* * *

><p><em>"Everything will be alright," came that beautiful, sweet voice. "I promise. You won't feel a thing." Normally, it would have been a soothing sound— this person's voice sounded like warm tea and honey— but she was confused and frightened beyond comfort. What was better this way? All she felt was pain, searing pain that emitted from her very soul. Her eyes felt cloudy and heavy with tears.<em>

_The blurred figure tried to hush her, but the tears kept flowing. She didn't want this. "Trust me, my little one, it is better this way." She felt hands on either side of her face, caressing her dampened skin. Then she noticed that the eyes staring into hers were... her own?_

_"I love you... So very, __**very**__ much..."_

_Then her head started to lose feeling, and she felt herself slipping away... _


	10. Chapter 10: Uncertainties

_Chapter 10: Uncertainties_

This probably wasn't a very good idea. What was she doing exactly? Oh, yeah. Rairakku stumbled as she knocked on the door of a certain apartment. Hopefully, things would be as awkward between them as they were yesterday. Then again, that was mostly her fault. He told her to come to him if she needed to talk, hadn't he? Well, she needed to talk. He probably wouldn't be happy about being woken up this late at night, but she was sure he'd get over it.

Finally the door swung open. "Rairakku?" Kakashi answered, his tone was one of surprise. Rairakku rarely ever came over to his apartment during the day, let alone during the middle of the night like this. "What are you doing here?" He noticed the woman staggering on her feet a little. She certainly seemed dazed, and it showed in the unfocused look in her eyes. It was an expression Kakashi knew fairly well. There was a period a few years ago where he found her in this state often. Now that he thought about it, that phase had taken place shortly after Rairakku's arrangement with Hideaki had ended... "Have you been _drinking?_"

She shook her head. "It was only a little, really," Rairakku insisted, her plum eyes half lidded. That wasn't saying much, considering a little to someone else was usually quite a bit for Rairakku. "I'm just a little woozy. Can I come in?" At least her speech wasn't very impaired.

Kakashi sighed, and moved to let her pass. If she needed to tell him something, he couldn't refuse her. Still, she should know how much alcohol affects her. She nearly fell over trying to take her sandals off at the door. He watched as she made her way to his couch. The lilac let out a groan as she flopped down on it. Yeah, she had obviously had just a little too much. But, he thought, at least she came over to his apartment instead of her former teammate's. Kakashi didn't like the idea of her being drunk around him.

"Are you okay?" the Copy Nin questioned, approaching her carefully. He remembered quite a few times where she broke into sobs while like this, and wanted to avoid that if all possible. The girl shook her head in response, but stayed silent. Her mind seemed to be drifting off somewhere. Kakashi pressed, placing a hand on her shoulder, "What's wrong?"

Rairakku sat up on the cushions and buried her face in her hands. She waited until Kakashi took a seat next to her before she began. Suddenly, her whole reason for being there felt stupid now. "I... I had that dream again tonight. But it was clearer this time. _Much_ clearer," she murmured, turning her head away from his gaze. "I could... practically see who the person was."

So that's what this was about. Unfortunately, it appeared that this sudden clarity had only caused her to be more distressed over this. "Did you recognize them?" Kakashi asked curiously. Perhaps this _was_ something from her past coming back to her after all this time, but why now? Rairakku shook her head despondently, so he continued, "Well, did you see what they looked like?"

Rairakku took a moment to gather her thoughts. They were all jumbled about, and she couldn't make sense of things. "It was a woman. That much I could tell" she whispered softly. All the formed in her mind were those eyes that looked so very much like her own. "And I think she looked... She had eyes like mine." As she tried to bring the image back into her mind, she was met with a sharp pain in her temple. Why was it so hard to picture her again? "It's like... She was someone I should remember, but I can't. Someone important to me." A frustrated groan left her lips and her head fell back against the couch in distain. "Why can't I remember anything, Kakashi? I'm sick of not being able to remember anything."

"I don't know," he answered truthfully, then added, "But I thought you didn't care if you remembered or not?" Kakashi noticed her silence in response to his question and angled his head towards her. The lilac's soft, plum eyes had fluttered closed, and she slowly slumped over onto his shoulder, mumbling. He pulled her petite form into his arms before lifting the both of them from the couch. It would probably be best if he put her to bed; it wouldn't be the first time he had done that. Kakashi would do the gentlemanly thing and let her take his room for the night. He could take the couch.

Rairakku made no signs of waking as he carried her into his room. He would definitely have a talk with her about the whole drinking thing when she was good and sober again, he decided as he pulled the sheets over her. He watched as she finally stirred, rolling over onto her side. "Night-night, Kakashi," she murmured, nuzzling her flushed face against his pillow in a particularly endearing manner.

A small chuckle rumbled in his throat. He let his fingers brush through her soft russet hair, pushing it away from her face. This woman had a way with him, he had to admit. He just couldn't stay angry or even disappointed at her for very long. He would have to work on that. "Sleep well, Rairakku," Kakashi whispered back, and pressed his masked lips against her cheek. Hopefully, he thought, dreams wouldn't plague her anymore tonight.

It wasn't until he started to leave the room that he realized his actions. That was an odd reaction, especially for him. He turned his head and looked back at her sleeping form, blinking in thought. Where had that come from? Kakashi finally shook his head. It was nothing, at least nothing he should be bothered with. It was probably his lack of sleep showing. At least she hadn't been awake to notice.

* * *

><p>Not getting up any time soon. That was Rairakku's first thought of the morning. This spot was nice, comfy, and so very warm. Why was her head throbbing? Oh, well, all the more reason to stay in bed. Unfortunately, there was an annoying light coming in from the window. This is why she had curtains over her window, why weren't they working? Rairakku definitely wasn't getting up to close it. She pulled the comforter over her head, grumbling unhappily as she gripped her pillow. Something was off, though. This didn't feel like her bed and her pillow, despite how content she felt. And the sheets had a pleasant scent to them; it was just like Kaka—<p>

Rairakku sprung from the bed without a second thought, flailing wildly. A mistake that left her foot tangled in the sheets and she fell flat on her back, her headache now a splitting one from hitting the hard floor. But that was the least of her worries. She had been sleeping in Kakashi's room, in his _bed_. How did she even get here? The last thing she remembered was waking up in her apartment after that disturbing dream... Then maybe she had opened that bottle of wine in her refrigerator, but that still didn't explain how she got here.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she noticed a pair of incredibly round, dark, half-lidded eyes glaring at her in annoyance. Bisuke, one of Kakashi ninken, was sitting beside her head. "Oi! You almost landed on me!" he grumbled, his tan-brown fur bristling.

"You're a ninken. I figured you could dodge," Rairakku laughed as she rubbed the dark mark on his forehead that read "shinobi". He snorted in response. Bisuke was always one of her favorites, despite his sarcastic nature, but Rairakku was never really sure if he liked her back. Then again, she really didn't care. She had too much fun teasing him and the other dogs. Rairakku kicked her legs free from the infernal sheets and began to collect herself. "So do you know what I'm doing here? Where's Kakashi?"

Bisuke made an aloof gesture similar to a shrug beneath his blue jacket, scratching one of his brown ears with his back leg. "I don't know. He just told me to watch you until he got back," the ninken answered. The Copy Nin was probably at the memorial like he was every morning. A smirk formed on the dog's face. "And he also mentioned you'd be probably be hung over. 'Looks like he was right. What'd you do last night?"

Rairakku nudged the dog away with her leg. What did she do last night? Everything was awfully blurry. She vaguely remembered knocking on Kakashi's door, but that was just about it. Why had she come over here? She never liked being at this apartment. Wait, the dream... Is that why she had come over? Hopefully she hadn't done anything extremely stupid. A sigh left her lips. She really needed to stop drinking. Kakashi must have done her a favor and let her stay over; he had probably tucked her in and everything. Her headache worsened at the notion.

Kakashi was always taking care of her, wasn't he? Whatever she had done last night, Kakashi obviously thought she needed taking care of if he left Bisuke with her. She had pointed out the other night that she didn't need to be treated like a child anymore, and yet she was doing a poor job of living up to that. Then a sickening thought occurred to her. Was she... Was she a burden on Kakashi? Probably. And then an even worse thought hit her. Maybe the only reason Kakashi paid any attention to her was because he felt _obligated_ to, and that hurt, especially because she had grown to... How did she feel about him exactly?

"Oi, what's the matter?" Bisuke asked, prodding her foot with his paw. He was shooting her a confused look. "You got a serious look on your face all of a sudden."

"Uh, I," the lilac stuttered as she made her way toward the door. She clutched her head; the pain was excruciating now. She had to get out of there before Kakashi came back. There was no way she could talk to him right now, especially when she was feeling this confused. Besides, she didn't want to be lectured on why she needed to stop drinking. "I've got to go. I have stuff to do today," she finally uttered. When she made for the door she noticed the ninken following at her heels. Rairakku turned her head slowly and asked, "Why are you following me?"

The small dog blinked. "Kakashi told me to watch you," he stated, as if she hadn't understood it the first time he said it. Then he shot her the "are you stupid?" look that made her want to kick him across the room, but she knew that wouldn't stop him from following her around. Curse those ninken and their unwavering loyalty.

* * *

><p>Where had the two of them run off to? When Kakashi had come back to an empty apartment, Rairakku and his ninken were missing. If Rairakku had left, he figured, no doubt Bisuke had followed his orders and went along with her. Kakashi sighed in frustration; he was thinking the lilac would have stayed long enough to get over her hangover. He probably could have summoned another dog to look for them, but he honestly didn't feel like complicating things more. They'd probably run into each other eventually. In fact, it wasn't long until they did.<p>

Kakashi turned a corner and began down Tea Avenue, thinking maybe Rairakku had stop in her favorite restaurant for lunch. His eyes spotted her leaving the exact place he thought she'd be. She was arguing with Bisuke, who responded by nipping at her ankles. "Rairakku," he called, causing the young woman to freeze on the spot. Bisuke looked a little happier at the thought he wouldn't have to follow her around anymore.

"O-Oh, Kakashi! Hi," the lilac stammered as she turned his way, looking extremely jittery. She wasn't looking at him directly. The Copy nin wasn't sure why she was so anxious. Rairakku turned her attention to the tan-brown dog sitting next to her, frowning. Part of her was hoping that she wouldn't run into Kakashi for at least the rest of the day, but a tiny part was glad that she had found him. Bisuke was seriously starting to get on her last nerve. The two of them had stopped getting along an hour ago, and he even made her buy him food. "Making him watch me was unnecessary, you know." The ninken snorted at her in response.

The silver haired man shrugged. "I didn't expect you to be up and moving," he answered frankly, shoving his hands into his pockets. He hadn't expected her to be looking so well after last night, though she did look like her head was bothering her. She looked like she was slightly flushed and shaky. Hopefully, she hadn't caught a bug from last night. Either way, now that Kakashi had found her, Bisuke's presence was no longer needed. Kakashi turned to the dog. "Thank you Bisuke. You can go now." Bisuke nodded sharply and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

The second Kakashi had turn his attention away from her, Rairakku bolted for it. She just couldn't be around Kakashi right now. "I'vegottago!" Rairakku shouted, darting past him. Was that cowardly of her? Probably, but she didn't care. All she knew was that she needed to sort out her feelings before she talked to him again, and now was not the time. Besides, she didn't want to be an even bigger burden on him. There was a sharp pain in her chest that only made her run faster.

The russet haired woman's actions left Kakashi blinking and befuddled in her wake. Well, she was sure acting strangely, even more strangely than she had been. Had he done something wrong? Nothing really came to mind. Maybe she was just feeling awkward from showing up at his apartment last night. Then again... Last night he had gone so far as to kiss her cheek, for whatever reason. Kakashi shook his head; she wouldn't have remembered that. After all, she had been fast asleep... Or had she? He could practically feel the color draining from his face. God, he hoped she hadn't been awake. Though that would certainly explain her actions, considering how she avoided intimacy like the plague. What had he gotten himself into?


	11. Chapter 11: Misunderstandings Resolved?

_Chapter 11: Misunderstandings Resolved?_

Rairakku had succeeded in avoiding Kakashi for the past several weeks. She figured that if he really did see her as a burden like she thought, he wouldn't mind her absence. Avoiding him actually wasn't as difficult as she had imagined it to be. With the chuunin exams fast approaching, she was busy with the other elite chuunin; this hadn't been the first time she had helped out, but it was still an honor to be considered one of the strongest of her rank.

The exams took all of her focus, and Rairakku was successfully able to push any thoughts of the Copy Nin out of her mind. Well, she was mostly successful. It was difficult to keep him out of her mind. It wasn't until now that she realized just how much she thought of him on a regular basis. Fortunately for her, the exams proved to be a good distraction. Unfortunately, her place in the exams had her spending most of her time with Hideaki, who was more than curious as to why she was avoiding Kakashi.

"Did the two of you get into a fight?" the redhead asked, trying to hide the excitement in his voice. Hideaki always thought that things would be so much better between him and Rairakku if that silver haired jounin wasn't around.

Rairakku's eyes didn't leave her paperwork. The pair was in the small living area of her apartment, looking over all the teams that would were officially entering. Part of her was wondering when she would come across Team Seven's file. "No, we didn't. Can you just let it go? Why are you so interested?" the lilac huffed as she turned a page. She knew Hideaki had never been very fond of Kakashi, so why was he so interested know why she wasn't speaking to him?

Hideaki shrugged his shoulders, hiding the smile on his face with a piece of paper. "Well, it's just that the two of you are practically always together, and lately you seem to be avoiding him." Of course, the Akashio was delighted that Rairakku was spending so much more time with him, but he figured he should find out why. Perhaps she and Kakashi were finally drifting apart; the very thought of it made him giddy.

Rairakku paused in her work for a moment, thinking hard on how to answer him. The more she had thought about her feelings for Kakashi, the worse she felt. Her chest ached and her heart raced; when she thought about the night he had held her, she felt faint and her face grew hot. "Being around him right now is just... awkward and confusing," she answered reluctantly, her voice quiet. "So I'm just waiting for that to... go away, I guess. I don't know. Maybe I'm just getting sick or something."

Awkward and confusing? Getting sick? Hideaki didn't like the sound of that at all. His smile vanished and he lowered the document covering his face. That sounding like something someone would say if they were... _infatuated_ and didn't know it. Rairakku had never been very experienced when it came to feelings of the heart, so maybe she was. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, rather loudly.

Rairakku had to move back on the couch as the redhead moved a little too close to her face. "W-Well, I just feel different around him I guess. Why does that matter?" she stuttered out, her face growing crimson at the very thought of having to explain this out loud. But he wanted her to elaborate; he clearly wasn't going to drop the topic. So she tried to put it into words for her friend. For some reason, it felt especially uncomfortable to explain it to him, her ex-lover, and almost the... _No_, she wouldn't think about that.

Hideaki listened carefully to Rairakku's words, a stabbing pain growing in his chest with every "symptom" she said she was experiencing. Though he wasn't particularly surprised; the redhead always had a feeling that one day she would realize how much she cared for Kakashi. He hadn't expected her to be this confused over it, though. Then again, she had never been in love, not even with him.

"Rairakku," he chuckled wryly once Rairakku had finished. "You really don't realize it, do you? Come on, you should be smarter than that." Her beautiful plum eyes shot him a look of puzzlement, and then she glared with a pout on her tender lips. His hands reached over and cupped her cheeks, his expression turning serious. "You're in love with him. I think you have been for a long time now."

Then she did something he wouldn't have expected from her. Normally when faced with such an accusation, she would glare, get a disgusted look on her face, or even yell at Hideaki for saying something like that. But no, this time she reddened from the bridge of her nose to the tips of her ears. "W-W-What? Don't say something so stupid like that! W-Why would I be in love with him of all people?" she shrieked, jumping from the couch and slipping on some papers. Rairakku was waiting for him to laugh, to say he was joking, but he didn't.

"Rairakku," Hideaki began again, sighing in slight frustration. Obviously, the thought had crossed her mind for a split second before, or else she would have had this type of reaction. He opened his mouth to speak again, but no, Rairakku wouldn't hear any more of what he had to say.

She gathered up the documents that they two of them had finished going over. "L-Look, I'm going to turn all of this in, okay?" the lilac interjected, still stumbling about. The russet haired woman raced out the front door of her apartment. Her heart was pulsating even faster than her legs were running. Stupid Hideaki. What an idiotic thing to say, that she was in love with Kakashi. There was no way... Was there?

* * *

><p>The stabbing pain in his chest hadn't gone away since that afternoon, and his normally bubbly nature had faded. Hideaki <em>knew<em> this would happen one day, that Rairakku would realize her feelings for Kakashi. So if he had expected this, why did he find himself so utterly angry? Perhaps he was hoping that he still had the better shot at being with her. Why though? He had been with _several_ women since Rairakku, and he knew what they had ended a long time ago. He hated to admit that he missed her, even though what they had together had only hurt them in the end. Something about the way it ended had just seemed so abrupt, though, as if something had been left unfinished or unspoken.

God, he sounded like a girl...

Of course, if he were to pursue her now that would be a huge mistake. The two of them fought more often than not; they felt ashamed and hurt by the time morning came and would get dressed in silence. Hell, more often than not he would leave in the middle of the night. But after hearing her murmur that _other man's _name in her sleep, could anyone blame him?

The thought still made him want to punch something. Unfortunately, the redhead had his hands full with documents as he was currently heading to the Hokage's office. The fact that he saw that certain other man was headed this way did not lighten his mood. When he saw that head of silver hair walking in the opposite direction it struck him: he had no idea if Kakashi felt the same way for Rairakku. There was a very real chance that he didn't. "Konnichiwa, Kakashi!" he immediately called out, a grin spreading across his lips. He would just have to find out for himself, wouldn't he?

When Kakashi heard Hideaki calling he approached the redhead cautiously. It wasn't often that Hideaki spoke to him without a grimace on his face. Something was up. But Hideaki probably knew where Rairakku was, or at least why she was avoiding him. There had been several times over the past month where Kakashi had spotted her on the street, but she quickly ran off. He was still hoping it wasn't because of that kiss, but he couldn't think of any other reason. The least he could do was explain himself, though he had no idea what he would say. So the Copy Nin returned the gesture. "Hey," he replied, nodding in his direction. "Busy with paperwork, I see."

"Yeah," Hideaki answered with a chuckle, looking down in the giant stack in his arms. It was true. His shoulders were actually starting to ache from the weight. "It's for the exams, and luckily I think this is the last batch. I think Rairakku was getting fed up with my complaining."

Ah, so she was busy preparing for the exams with Hideaki. That was a relief. Perhaps Kakashi had been over thinking this whole thing. Even so, that didn't explain why she was going through such lengths to avoid him. "You wouldn't happen to know where she is, would you?" the silver haired jounin inquired.

The chuunin's lips twitched as he contemplated how he should answer. After all, he hadn't seen her since the lilac ran off several hours ago, but she had claimed she was heading to turn those documents in to the Hokage. "She went on ahead of me," he answered. "If she's not still at the Hokage Tower, she's probably heading back to her apartment for some well earned rest. She's been working hard." He paused to shrug the ache out of his shoulders. Suddenly a thought hit him, and a lecherous smirk spread across his lips. It was a look Kakashi didn't like. "The two of us have _barely slept_ all week," he continued, trying hard not to snicker. After all, it was true; the implications of his statement, however, were not. Hideaki resumed his walked towards the Hokage Tower. "Well, I'll see you later."

Kakashi could feel a twitch coming to his visible eye. Barely slept? He knew exactly what Hideaki had been implying, and he had said it with that grin on his face. That familiar sick feeling from when he first discovered their past began bubbling up in his stomach. Considering how ashamed Rairakku seemed of her relationship with the redhead, it seemed unlikely that she would jump into bed with Hideaki again.

Now he _really_ wanted to talk to her.

* * *

><p>The sun was beginning to set now, turning the sky into a canvas of oranges and pinks. Kakashi had searched the locations that Hideaki had suggested, but to no avail. He just couldn't find her anywhere, though for a few seconds he thought he had sensed her presence. She really must be going out of her way to avoid him, after all. If only he could just apologize to her for that kiss... His feet had carried him to his favorite place to think, the KIA memorial. Honestly, it was the last place he had expected to see her, but there she was. "Well, I didn't expect to see you here, Rairakku," he admitted with a chuckle.<p>

The russet haired woman jumped; she hadn't heard him approach her. Damn it. She had been doing such a good job of avoiding him. "O-Oh, Kakashi. It's you. What, uh- what are you doing here?" Rairakku asked with a stutter in her voice as she turned to face him. The words Hideaki spoke to her were still playing in her mind like a broken record. _You're in love with him. You're in love with him. You're in love with him..._

"I just thought I'd stop by here before I went home," the silver haired man drawled out, eyeing her in a sort of suspicious way as he approached her. She took a few steps back as he did so. "It's funny," Kakashi continued, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I've gotten the feeling you've been avoiding me lately. Is something wrong?"

Rairakku tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Damn, Hideaki. What he said earlier had made her feel even worse around Kakashi. She thought about lying to him, but she was always a horrible liar when it came to Kakashi. He would see right through her. Besides, he deserved the truth. She turned her gaze to the ground. "It's nothing important, but... I guess I have been, huh? I'm really sorry—"

"No, don't apologize. If anything I should be apologizing," he interrupted shaking his head. Her gaze met his; she looked a little taken aback. He reached to scratch the back of his neck in an awkward fashion, as if he was uncomfortable. Rairakku cocked her head to the side at this. Why on earth would _he_ be apologizing for? _She_ was the one who had been ignoring him for the past month. Unfortunately, he didn't notice the confusion in her eyes before he said, "I was the one who kissed you after all."

Now it was Rairakku's turn to interrupt. His words nearly knocked her flat on her back; she had to stagger backwards and catch her footing. "_W-W-What? What are you talking about?_" she shrieked. The lilac's cheeks were beyond red; they were damn near purple. What did he mean 'he was sorry he kissed her'? "_W-When did _that_ happen?_"

Kakashi stood there, his masked jaw slacked. "That's... not why you've been avoiding me?" Rairakku looked absolutely mortified at this apparently new information and shook her head fiercely. He had been wrong before; she really had been asleep when he had kissed her cheek. His words were still hanging in the air, as if he could reach out and take them back, but he couldn't. Heat began to rush to his face. "I- I... Oh," the Copy Nin found himself stammering.

The lilac pointed an accusing finger at him, glowering ferociously. "Th-That night I was at your place! I knew something weird was up!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. Part of him wanted to tell her to lower her voice— they were in front of a memorial after all— but her reaction was to be expected. "What did you do to me?"

What was he supposed to say now? His hands were out of his pockets now, in a defensive position. "It wasn't... I mean, I didn't mean anything by it," Kakashi attempted to explain. "I just... It happened while I was putting you in bed. It was just on the cheek." Rairakku's face was slowly returning to its original color, and now she looked much more confused than she did upset. "Well," he cleared his throat, trying to change the subject. "What did I do to make you avoid me, then?"

The attempt to distract her succeeded, and the woman turned her plum eyes back to the ground again."It wasn't anything you did," she murmured, still looking embarrassed by the whole conversation. Rairakku wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to the question she was about to ask, but if he had gone so far as to seek her out, maybe she was wrong. "Am I a burden to you?" she whispered softly. Now it was Kakashi's turn to be confused. "It's just, after that night I stayed at your place I realized," Rairakku elaborated, looking down at her hands. "You're always taking care of me, and I just... I don't want you to feel like you have to do that. I can take care of myself, you know."

Kakashi's eyebrows shot up. She thought he saw her as a burden? So that's why she was avoiding him. She was trying to prove that she could take care of herself. The Copy Nin found himself trying to suppress an uncomfortable laugh, still feeling embarrassed about before. "You've never been a burden to me," he chuckled as patted her on the head, ruffling up her russet locks a bit. "But if it's bothering you that much, I can try not to care about you."

Even though she felt relieved, Rairakku glared at him as heat spread to her cheeks from his touch. Well, if he could just ignore what he had blurted out earlier, then she guess she could, too. But the way he was ruffling her hair awkwardly was getting annoying "Why do you do that?" she asked.

The silver jounin cocked his head the side, continuing to ruffle her hair about. "Hm? Do what?"

The plum eyed girl reached up and touched the gloved hand that was resting on her head. "That," Rairakku answered, looking back at the ground again. Why was it so hard to look at him now? "You're always playing with my hair."

He shrugged in a nonchalant manner. Honestly, he hadn't realized. Now that he thought about it, he had made quite a habit out of playing with her hair, whether he was ruffling it about to annoy her, tugging a strand when he was teasing her, or brushing it out of her face out of general affection. Kakashi removed his hand from her head. "Why? Does that bother you?"

"N-No, I don't mind." It really didn't bother her. She had always found these actions very comforting. It was just that suddenly she was wondering the reason for such things. Especially now, since she seemed to be extremely aware of every little thing he did around her. Of course, she thought, the better question would be why did he kiss her, but she didn't want to know the answer to that.


	12. Chapter 12: It Begins

_Chapter 12: It Begins_

The lilac found herself trudging along the dirt roads toward her destination, glaring at the plain, grey clothes that covered her body. Today was finally the day she would be a proctor for the exams, and she probably should have gotten a better night's sleep. Unfortunately, her mixed feelings over everything that had happened recently were starting to get the better of her... but that wasn't new.

Rairakku had spent the night contemplating everything that had gone on between Kakashi and her recently, her reactions in particular. She remembered always feeling so comfortable around the jounin, but lately her face would heat up and her heart would beat faster, she would stutter and forget what she was saying, and she became overly sensitive to his little habit of playing with her hair. (Well, since she had pointed it out to him, Kakashi hadn't done that as often as he used to, but still.) And even though she felt so uncomfortable around him lately, her thoughts would wander to the Copy Nin; she found herself missing him after the two were only apart for a few hours.

After all of this she finally reached a conclusion: Hideaki was right. It burned her insides to admit it, but she did... _have feelings_ for Kakashi. She didn't know how or when this had first started; all she knew was that they were there...

And she needed to get rid of them, before Kakashi figured out what was wrong with her, if he hadn't already. Rairakku felt the color drain from her face at the thought. After all, Kakashi had always been very perceptive like that, and the last thing she wanted was to hear him reject her. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that Kakashi only saw her as a friend; her chest ached at the thought.

But that wasn't important right now. She needed to hurry up and get to the Forest of Death before Anko cursed her out for being late.

Just when she was about to pick up the pace, she heard her name being called from behind her. A hand pressed down on her shoulder. Rairakku spun around quickly, ready to attack out of reflex with a kunai hidden in her long grey sleeve, but the person held up their hands in a defensive position.

"Sorry," the man apologized, chuckling. "I should have announced myself better. You're quite fast, if I may say so myself." He looked awfully familiar, but Rairakku just couldn't place where she knew him from. "My apologies," he continued. "You've probably forgotten about me. My name is Hyouchuu Gorou." The tan, older man stuck his hand out for her to shake.

That creepy Mist jounin from a few months ago! What was he doing here? The russet haired woman mentally kicked herself for thinking such a stupid question. He was probably here for the chuunin exams. His group of genin were probably competing. "Oh, of course," she finally answered, shaking his hand. "I take it you're here for the exams?"

The older man nodded curtly. "And I take it you're a proctor? Those uniforms haven't changed since _I_ became a chuunin." His hand ran through his salt-and-pepper hair as he looked over her a little too closely, flashing a smile when he was done.

"Ah, yes," Rairakku chuckled awkwardly, pulling at the bland grey jacket. There was that feeling again, that feeling of distrust towards this man. All she needed to know was that she needed to avoid Gorou. She took a step back. "Speaking of which, I'm actually kind of late. The woman in charge will skin me alive."

Gorou glared for a split second, but then it was gone. "Well, then, I probably shouldn't keep you." He grinned and waved at her as she awkwardly turned away. "I'll see you around."

Rairakku met up with Anko at the gate to the Forest only a few minutes later. The lavender haired woman was munching on some dango and glaring at her fiercely. All of the genin were gone. The exam must have started already. The russet haired woman was sorely disappointed; she had wanted to wish Team 7 good luck.

"Where the hell have you been?" Anko yelled, throwing a skewer into the wall next her. She crossed her arms over her overly revealing fishnet top in frustration.

"'Ran into some creepy trouble," Rairakku sighed, slouching.

"Huh?"

* * *

><p>It had been hours since Anko had taken off into the Forest looking for Orochimaru. Rairakku was on edge waiting for her to get back. She knew that Anko had once been Orochimaru's student, and she knew Anko bore his dreaded curse mark. How could she not be concerned for her friend? And the genin she knew inside...<p>

After all, the Forest was an even more dangerous place with _him_ in it. It had nearly claimed her and Hideaki's lives during their exams, if it hadn't been for Otonashi. A wry smirk crossed the lilac's lips. She remembered the day they celebrated their promotion, and Kakashi had found out just how close she had come to death.

Kakashi had offered to walk the newly promoted chuunin back to her apartment, but Rairakku knew better. She was going to be in for a serious lecture because Hideaki couldn't keep his mouth shut. There was nothing she hated more than Kakashi's lectures. First would be a long awkward silence. Check. Then he would press and press no matter how hard she tried to dodge his questions, which was completely unfair. Kakashi dodged questions all the time.

"So," the twenty year old had begun, causing Rairakku to jump. "If it hadn't been for Otonashi, you'd be _what_ exactly?"

"It's over and done with, Kakashi." Her voice had come out in the form of a shaky sigh. After the tension between them all lunch, she had absolutely no desire to create even more by having this conversation. "S-So we don't need to talk about this, okay?"

The jounin had shaken his head. He wasn't planning on dropping the subject. Sometime she thought that he took advantage of the fact that she couldn't lie to him. "I think we do. What happened? I wondered why you hadn't said a word about the exam."

Rairakku had growled angrily, "What do you think?" People died during the exams all the time, and, for a shinobi, having a near-death experience was nothing new. She had already had two previously, and while the most current one still made her shiver, the other two didn't bother her so much anymore.

The silver haired jounin had shoved his hands into his pockets as he turned to raise an eyebrow at her. "You were probably being careless again, weren't you?" She needed to know better than to let her mind wander at such a crucial time.

She had stayed silent for a moment, puffing her cheeks out angrily. That was only partially true, but still, he shouldn't assume something like that! Why was he being such a jerk about this? The sixteen year old had grumbled, "It's really not a big deal, Kakashi."

"You almost died. That is a big deal." His tone had risen a little; he sounded upset with her. He had only gotten like this two or three times before, when she had gotten severely injured on missions, and it was pretty much the same argument every time.

Rairakku scoffed, turning her head away. "Which is nothing new. I'm a shinobi like you, in case you've forgotten. I '_almost die_' all the time," she had stated her usual retort, her tone beginning to rise as well.

The Copy Nin had grabbed her by the chin and pulled her head to face him. She was about to yell at him, but then she noticed the concern flickering in his visible eye. He had loosened his hold on her after a moment. "I just..." he had begun in a tone that made her feel incredibly guilty. "Be more careful." But it hadn't sounded the way it came out. It sounded more like, "I don't want to lose you."

Her thoughts were interrupted as she saw one of her fellow chuunin running up to her in haste. She couldn't quite remember his name. "Rairakku-san!" he cried, taking no time to catch his breath. "Quickly! Anko-san has a job for you!"

* * *

><p>The Copy Nin was making his way to his apartment after quite a long day. Well, at least it felt long, especially since his three genin were probably fighting for their lives right now. Rairakku would still be out proctoring. No doubt she was concerned about his little group, what with the way she coddled them so. His thoughts turned solely to the lilac. He hadn't seen her since a few days before the exam started, though he noticed Hideaki giving him a furious glare when they passed each other earlier. Kakashi couldn't help but notice the dark purple bruise on the redhead's face. Rairakku had probably beaten on him a little; she had said she would in the last conversation they had.<p>

"Hey, Kakashi?" the lilac had questioned with a squeak, appearing to be deep in thought. She had managed to convince him to train with her that day, to which the Copy Nin had hesitantly agreed to. After he had soundly beaten her in a spar, the two relaxed on the grass in comfortable silence. But something had irked her the last few months, and she just had to know. "Can I ask you something?"

"Hm?" he had answered, flipping through the pages of his book. He had turned his head towards her and noticed just how red her face had turned. The russet haired woman was also playing awkwardly with her thumbs. Kakashi blinked incredulously, cocking his head to the side. Why did she look so embarrassed? "Is something wrong?"

"W-W-Well, um," she had stuttered, avoiding his gaze, which only confused him further. "You... You remember that talk we had on that mission?" An image of him pulling Rairakku flushed against his chest in that darkened bedroom and flashed through his mind. He remembered holding her tight for what seemed like hours. Finally, he nodded. Rairakku hugged her legs to her knees and whispered, "How did you find out about Hideaki and me?"

The silver haired jounin had considered how to answer her. He knew she would be upset with his answer, no matter how he sliced it. "I was there when Izumo, Kotetsu, and Hideaki were discussing it to Anko," he had stated monotonously as he turned another page.

Rairakku had nearly jumped from her spot on the ground. "_Wh-What?_" she shrieked. Izumo and Kotetsu? What the hell? "How do _they_ know?" And if Anko knew now that meant that pretty much everyone else did, too. And what was Hideaki doing talking about something they promised was to be an absolute secret?

Kakashi had scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to focus on the words in his book rather than the image that appeared in his mind as he remembered Izumo's words. "_You were shaking the walls_." Heat traveled up his neck and into his cheeks. "They mentioned that they," the jounin had paused to clear his throat. "Overheard the two of you once." There was that sick feeling bubbling in his stomach again.

The lilac had groaned and pulled herself into the fetal position, feeling dizzy and more than humiliated. Was it possible for someone to actually pass out from embarrassment? Kakashi patted her on the shoulder and told her she shouldn't worry about it, but how could she not?

Before he even realized, Kakashi had reached over and pulled his hand through Rairakku's russet hair. Hm, he really did do that often, didn't he? But the woman didn't seem to mind, in fact she seemed as if it comforted her more anything else; she even leaned into it.

Eventually, she had just fallen against his shoulder, grumbling fiercely, "I'm going to kill them." Unfortunately, with her big watery eyes, her pink cheeks, and the pout on her lips didn't make her look very intimidating.

A chuckle had escaped his throat. "Whatever you say, Rairakku."

A voice jarred his thoughts. "Kakashi!" He turned his head to see Rairakku advancing towards him; her tone sounded almost panicked. The lilac was still wearing her grey uniform; it was so much different than the turquoise and black she normally wore. She came to a halt in front of him, and regained her composure, but he noticed the hint of worry in her eye. "You need to come with me right now," she stated.

"What's wrong?" he questioned.

"It's Sasuke."


	13. Chapter 13: The Exams

_Chapter 13: The Exams_

Rairakku hadn't been present for the preliminary exams, but she had heard that the Uchiha had been hospitalized. When she had asked a nurse about his condition, she was brushed off and simply told that no one was allowed to see him. She figured Kakashi of all people would know how he was doing. She noticed the silver haired jounin exiting the Hokage's building. "Kakashi!" Rairakku called, running up to him. "How is he? How is Sasuke?"

"He should be fine," he answered. The last thing she needed was to be fretting over something else; he knew how distracted she got when she did that. "Don't worry yourself over it," he added, ruffling her hair. It seemed to ease her a little, but she was mostly annoyed by her hair getting messed up. "Aside from the obvious, how was proctoring the exams?"

The lilac shrugged her shoulders. "Well, fairly boring the rest of the time," she stated, but then a giggle escaped her throat. "Though, I pick up a few knocked out teams who got impatient and opened their scrolls early. You'll never guess whose team was the first to get it."

Kakashi blinked at her, cocking his head to the side. "Oh, someone I know?" That's right, being a proctor for the exams, she'd be summoned when a team opened their scroll. But for some reason, the image of Rairakku going around the Forest carrying knocked out genin unconscious was almost laughable.

Rairakku nodded and answered, "Gorou's." Ah, that was a good memory. Those three genin hadn't even seen her coming. In fact, if she wasn't mistaken, she had knocked them all out before they had even noticed her. She imagined that the older jounin was more than furious at them for doing something so stupid and not making it to the finals. Rairakku had to suppress a laugh when she had run into the Mist nin earlier.

"Gorou? The Mist jounin we collaborated with?" Kakashi didn't like the sound of that. He remembered that something about that man was off, but Rairakku seemed amused by his genins' failure.

She answered, frowning, "Yep. I've run into him more than once since the first day of the second exam, though it kinda seemed like he was looking for me. And I think he asked me out on a _date_..." It was true. The man had approached her more than once since the first day of the second exam, and she couldn't seem to shake him. And then earlier that day he had asked her to lunch. "There's something... off about him, Kakashi. I can't place it, but I feel like he's... after something."

He eyes narrowed for a moment. He remembered Gorou's reaction when he first saw Rairakku. One moment he had been ready to kill, and the next he had tried to charm her. And now that he was in Konoha he was seeking her out? No, the thought didn't set well with him either. He put on a smile despite of this. There wasn't a more perfect time to tease her, and he wouldn't pass up on the opportunity. "Or perhaps you've just _ensnared_ another man with your good looks," he said in a singsong voice.

Rairakku turned red to the roots of her russet hair. "Wh-Wh-What?" she squeaked. Gorou had to be around twenty years older than her! And since when did Kakashi have anything to say about her supposed "good looks"? "I've n-never _'ensnared'_ anyone!"

"I beg to differ," he interjected, tugged a lock of her hair. He chuckled when she puffed her cheeks out in irritation. "All the same, if you really feel that way, you should try to avoid him as much as possible."

Her plum eyes narrowed, and she looked towards the ground in deep thought. "Actually," she started, looking back up at Kakashi with a very serious expression on her face. It almost surprised him. "I was thinking that I should find out exactly what he wants." The words left her mouth before she could stop them. She couldn't believe she was actually considering taking Gorou up on his lunch offer.

Kakashi frowned again; he wasn't sure that was a good idea. But he knew nothing he said would sway her. And who knows? Perhaps she would find the answer she was looking for if she just played along.

* * *

><p>The streets were practically empty, save for the area around the stadium. The finals were currently underway, but Rairakku wasn't planning on attending them. She never went. In fact, the only final exam she had actually attended was her own. While she'd love to cheer on Naruto and Sasuke, watching people battle wasn't her idea of entertainment. She had to do enough of that because of her occupation. So she decided to support the boys from afar.<p>

"Rairakku! There you are!" Hideaki called, waving to her. "I've been looking for you! Why aren't you at the stadium?"

"I wasn't planning on going," she shrugged. He asked her to go with him every time, and she always said no. Why would this time be any different?

He frowned. Couldn't she see that he was just trying to get her to spend time with him? The red head was so annoyed when he found out that she and Kakashi were speaking again. Kakashi usually monopolized Rairakku's time. "You never go! Come on," he insisted, pulling her along. "That Uchiha boy's fight has already started."

She jerked himself away from his grip. "I already have other stuff planned today," she argued. Hideaki could be very insistent at times; it was pretty annoying, but at least his intentions were good... Actually, she didn't know if that was true.

Her teammate straightened up. "Well, then, I'm going with you." Rairakku simply shrugged in response and continued on her way. There was a shop near the stadium she wanted to check out. It had been a while since her last mission and while she was doing laundry the night before she discovered a few cuts through one of her favorite gloves. She was out to buy new ones now.

"Fine, you can carry my bags—"

Suddenly the ground shook, and there were two commotions happening at once. There was an uproar in the stadium, and from where she was she saw the silhouette of something massive in the distance. A shout sounded from a fellow shinobi not far from her. An attack? Now? A million questions started to run through her mind, but as she noticed the panicked citizens around her, her mind focused on a single thought: she had to get everyone out of here _now_.

"Hideaki! We have to get the others out of here!" When she turned back to Hideaki, she noticed that his eyes were no longer brilliant emeralds. They shone deep brown, and she realized he was looking through someone else's eyes. "Can you see what's happening in there?"

"It's Suna and Oto, they're attacking," he said through gritted teeth. The shinobi from Sunagakure were supposed to be their allies! Hideaki tried to focus more closely, but of course he had no control over the movements of the person whose eyes he was gazing through. And Rairakku pulled hard on his long hair to bring his attention back to his own surroundings. A group of the enemy were advancing on them, five Sound nin.

Her hands formed the sign for "rat", and in seconds her genjutsu was cast, luckily capturing all five of them inside. There was something she had learned while perfecting her genjutsu technique. The more horrifying the illusion, the more panicked the victim, and the less chance they would collect themselves quickly enough to figure out it was an illusion. Because her ninjutsu techniques were primarily water based, and she had once experienced the real torture for herself, her very first genjutsu made the victim feel like they were drowning. Unfortunately, that only worked on inexperienced shinobi. So she had upped the ante since then.

Before he could attack the small kunoichi, the Sound nin captain's vision went blurry and something warm and thick was leaking from his eyes and into his mask. When he brushed it away, he was surprised to find it was blood. _What the—? _Suddenly, his nose and mouth were burning, and he coughed up even more of the substance. It quickly clogged up his airway. All of his men were crippled by the same affliction. They were all drowning on their own blood.

Hideaki did her the favor of putting them out of their misery, grimacing. He remembered when she first created that genjutsu, and he insisted she try it out on him first. She had only put him under it for about thirty seconds, but that was enough time for the girl to go from his adorable teammate to a dangerous kunoichi in his eyes. Needless to say, he never volunteered for anything like that again. He repeated the same words he told her on that day. "You're kind of messed up in the head, Rairakku-chan."

The lilac wasn't paying attention to him, though. She was far too busy plucking up a small girl that had already gotten separated from her mother. The girl clung to Rairakku's neck for dear life. "Hideaki! Cover the back!" she shouted to him once another chuunin had taken care of the last enemy in the area. "Everyone this way!" she directed, picking up another child, a little boy, with her other arm as she passed.

* * *

><p>Kakashi pulled his headband back down over his sharingan eye, inspecting the situation as he exited the stadium. So much of the village had been damaged... There was a mixture of joyful tears and tears of grief. Joyful that so many of their loved ones had made it out alive and grief over the ones they had lost, including their precious Hokage. A medic nin had informed him that all three of his students were injured, but they'd be just fine.<p>

The Copy Nin let out a sigh of relief. They were _alive_. Now there was just one person who he had to check on, but he just couldn't seem to find her. He tried to still the panic that was slowly rising inside of him. There was a chuunin near him that he vaguely recognized. "Have you seen Rairakku anywhere?" Kakashi asked after he had tapped the young man on the shoulder.

A grin spread over the young shinobi's lips as he pointed in the direction the lilac was. "She was amazing! When the attack began, there was so much panic amongst the citizens. If it hadn't been for her, we wouldn't have gotten the area around the stadium cleared!" the chuunin exclaimed.

Kakashi stood there, eyes widened in surprise. He had forgotten Rairakku was just as good at taking charge as she was at taking orders. His gaze turned to the russet haired woman, who was clutching onto Hideaki's neck while he supported her. She looked exhausted and a little bloodied, but other than that she looked fine. However, it looked as if Hideaki was taking advantage of her weakness by using it as an excuse to have both of his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her body firmly against his.

It was then that for the first time Kakashi recognized the sick feeling that bubbled up in his stomach whenever he thought about the two of them. _Jealousy. _Confusion struck him next; what was he jealous for? But now wasn't the time to dwell on it. There were more important things at hand. He started to approach her, and he quickly caught her attention.

"Kakashi," she called out, looking solemn as she stumbled towards him. It was then when he noticed how her ankle looked twisted. He put his arms out to catch her when she faltered, and she gripped his forearms tightly. There was desperation in her eyes. "Is the Hokage really-"

His nod silenced her. "Orochimaru got away," he responded, trying to hide away the bitterness in his voice. It was still a bit of a blur to him.

The russet haired woman lowered her head solemnly. She tried to think of comforting words, but nothing came to her. Their Hokage was _dead_. All the same, she managed to muster up measly, "I'm... Glad you're alright. I was worried." She really had been worried, with all the fighting Hideaki said was going on in the stadium.

"Same, though it seems I didn't need to be," he commented, placing a hand on the top of her head. Kakashi ruffled her hair about in that oh-so familiar way. "From what I've heard, you had everything under control."

Blood rushed to her cheeks. "It wasn't as big of a deal as they're making it out to be, really." Rairakku's attention, however, was drawn away from Kakashi when she felt someone tug on her skirt. It was the little girl from earlier, same blond, curly pigtails and sunny yellow dress. She couldn't have been older than three. "Hey, I thought I gave you back to your momma," Rairakku chuckled, picking the little one up again, much more gently than last time. Kakashi still kept a hand on her to keep her balance. She still had that twisted ankle. "What are you doing over here?"

The little one rested her head on Rairakku's shoulder and refused to be put down, but that didn't matter. Rairakku's maternal instincts had already kicked into overdrive, and she wasn't planning on setting the girl down anytime soon. She guessed that this was the child's way of thanking her. Even when she had been reunited with her mother, the blonde hadn't spoken.

"It is a 'big deal'," Kakashi stated, shaking his head. He reached over and ruffled the little blonde girl's hair the same way he had done Rairakku's. The little one let out an embarrassed squeak and hid buried her face deeper into the chuunin's shoulder. "You saved a lot of lives today."

Rairakku turned away from him, too, when he said that. A blush was evident on her fair cheeks, but her lips curled into the smallest of smiles. And, against his will, Kakashi found himself smiling, too. He was awfully proud of his lilac.


	14. Chapter 14: Almost, Maybe

_Chapter 14:Almost, Maybe_

Rairakku leaned forward in her chair, resting her head against the hospital mattress. It had been a full week since Kurenai had told her what had happened with Itachi. The lilac had stayed by his side the entire time, watching for any change or movement, but there was still no sign that he'd be waking up. He needed Tsunade. Sasuke was down the hall, and he wasn't doing much better. She had gone to check on him a few times, but there was no need for her presence there. Sakura assured her that she would watch over him.

She had pulled the emotional young girl into a tight hug, which she seemed to appreciate. One she had pulled away, she told Sakura, "Let's stay strong for the men we love, okay?" The pink haired girl nodded enthusiastically. She had never seen a person look so shocked and happy at the same time.

"Rairakku-nee-chan!"

The russet haired woman's head popped off of the bed. A certain young blonde latched onto her side and continued to cling there until she came to her senses. Well, that's what she got for dozing off. "Ah, Naruto! You're back!" Rairakku smiled sleepily down at the boy, poking at his sides.

The boy laughed happily. "Yep! And I brought Tsunade-baa-chan! She's already healed Sasuke," he explained. "So she'll be able to fix Kakashi-sensei, no problem." Rairakku shot up off her chair at the mention of Tsunade. Of course, Gai had told her that the legendary kunoichi was coming, but she hadn't expected to see her herself. Rairakku had only met her once when she was very small, and that was a long time ago.

The blonde woman didn't waste time with introductions; she got to work on Kakashi immediately, and for that, Rairakku was grateful. She didn't know if she could take anymore of this. Rairakku was never any good at medical ninjutsu, so she didn't know exactly was Tsunade was doing, but it seemed to be working. Soon enough, Kakashi flickered open one obsidian eye and sat up in the bed. Her heart leapt at the sight.

"How pathetic," Tsunade began, already scolding the Copy Nin. "I heard you got beaten by two thugs. And I thought you supposed to be a genius."

Kakashi already looked more tired and perhaps a little depressed, and that blow to his pride certainly didn't help. He softly breathed out his apologies to the Sanin. Rairakku placed a comforting hand on his shoulder that finally alerted him to her presence there.

"Rairakku, is it?" Tsunade inquired, turning towards her. "See me when you're done here." It was not a request. Rairakku didn't have time to ask why, either, even if she had the courage to speak up to the powerful woman. Naruto and a panicking Gai quickly dragged Tsunade from the room so she could tend to Lee. Wait, how long had he been in the room, anyway?

"So," Kakashi started as he awkwardly cleared his throat, turning his aching neck to look at her. His head was still pounding violently. "What have I missed?"

Then she couldn't take it anymore. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, holding him as tight as she could. Kakashi seemed almost shocked by her sudden act of affection, but he saw no reason not to return it. He gently wrapped an arm around her, taking notice of just how much she was trembling. "Rairakku?" he questioned.

"For a minute," she murmured in his ear. A few hot tears escaped her eyes. She had been holding them in for an entire week, and she just couldn't anymore. Rairakku hoped Kakashi wouldn't notice, but he did. "I thought that man had taken another precious person away from me."

Of course, Otonashi had met his end at the hands of Itachi. Now he felt guilty for getting put in this state. Kakashi felt a hiccup jump through the woman, which only made the guilt deepen. She didn't need to be crying over him. "Hey," he chuckled, pulling away from her to look into her plum eyes. He brushed the tears away from her cheeks with his fingers. "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

His thumbs brushed over the dark circles beneath her lower lids, and suddenly he noticed just how exhausted she looked. She looked like she hadn't slept all... "Rairakku, have you... how long have you been here?" he asked, watching as her cheeks reddened. Surely she hadn't been by his side the entire time?

"Well, I— I mean, a while, I guess," the lilac stammered, pushing his hands away. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay." More like she just couldn't bear to leave him, but she wouldn't say that out loud. Kakashi's wide-eyed stare on her didn't waver. Worried that she had given herself away, she jumped from the mattress and tried to restrain the urge to just bolt from the room. "Well, y-y-you need rest, so I'll just go!"

He watched her scuttle out the door before he could stop her. "Wait a second, Rairakku!" he called out, but it was no use. The Copy Nin flopped back onto the hospital bed and allowed his eye to close. She really had stayed with him the entire time, hadn't she? Well, for someone who had spent over a week sitting in a hospital room, she had sure been quick to leave once he had woken up. He had noticed how odd she had been acting around him lately. It was impossible not to. Always blushing, avoiding his eyes, sometimes avoiding _him_, and not being able to look at him while she talked. If he didn't know any better, he'd say that she was acting like a teenage girl with a cru—

Kakashi's right eye snapped open and his heart jumped. Now that he thought about it, that idea wasn't outside of the realm of possibility. It explained Rairakku's behavior towards him lately, and it would certainly explain Hideaki's increased animosity towards him, if the redhead knew. But when had her feelings for him changed?

And how did he feel about this? After the initial shock passed, he felt... relieved? Kakashi was almost glad he had figured it out. Well, Rairakku certainly wasn't the type to confess her feelings, so he wouldn't have found out any other way. But did he feel the same way? There would have been a time where he would have immediately answered "no", they were just friends, but now he wasn't so sure.

He had always attributed his feelings for her to the fact that they had been such close friends for so long, but perhaps it was something more? The two of them had been more "friendly" toward each other, and he had notice the... rift between them lately, something unsaid. Kakashi laid his hand against his chest. He _did_ know that he hadn't felt this way in a long time...

That would certainly explain his actions lately, as well, especially the whole kissing-her-goodnight incident. Not to mention the jealousy he felt whenever Rairakku's past relationship with Hideaki came up. Well, this certainly complicated their friendship, didn't it? Now he was conflicted. Should he do nothing for the sake of their friendship? Or return her feelings and start a romantic relationship that could fail? Perhaps that was why she hadn't said anything in the first place. But something in him told him they wouldn't fail.

It looks like he'd have to make the first move.

* * *

><p>Rairakku stood in front of the memorial stone, staring at her beloved nii-chan's name with a grin on her face. She never thought she'd find herself so happy while the village was still in such disarray. "I finally did it Obito-nii-chan," she whispered. "I finally did it." Tsunade's words from a few days ago were still playing back in her head like a broken record.<p>

"_By the power invested in me as Hokage, I hereby promote you to the rank of Special Jounin._"

All of her hard work had finally paid off. And she had been recognized as an important asset in the village. At first she was a little confused, but apparently enough jounin been impressed with her performance during the attack from Suna and Oto for her to be recommended. Nothing could bring her down right now.

"Yo," a familiar voice called into her ear. Kakashi had snuck up behind her. There was a knowing smile under that mask, and Rairakku smiled back. He must have found out about her promotion. "I heard you got some pretty big news. I came to congratulate you before I have to leave."

The lilac turned to him, beaming. She was so happy that she wasn't even mad at him for sneaking up on her. "Before you know it I'll be able to take you on. You better watch out," she teased as she playfully hit him on the arm.

A warm chuckle escaped his throat. "Don't get too ahead of yourself," he replied, moving to wrap his arms around her. "I'm proud of you, Rairakku." Rairakku nuzzled her face against the collar of his vest when he said that, taking in his warmth. It seemed like ages since he had pulled her close. As her arms wound around his neck, she mused to herself that maybe things between them were perfectly fine, even if he didn't... love her back. As long as Kakashi held her like this every once and a while, she would be completely content.

She almost protested when she felt Kakashi loosen his grip. At first, she thought he was just pulling away, but then the Copy Nin moved his hands from the small of her back to her hips. The lilac tried the swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. Her eyes met his, and he smiled warmly down at her, resting his forehead against hers. Despite the cool metal of his headband against her, she felt her face grow hot.

"K-Kakashi," she stuttered out, feeling lightheaded. "What are you doing?" Why did he get so close to her all of a sudden? Kakashi hushed her, and her eyes started to flutter closed against her will when she felt his breath on her face. What...? What was happening? What was he doing? Then she heard the lightest rustle of fabric. Her heart was pounding in her ears. Was that...? There was the faintest brush against her lips. Was he going to—

Suddenly, she heard an unhappy noise rumble from his throat, and his warmth left her. Rairakku opened her eyes slowly, feeling a bit dejected, but then she noticed the way Kakashi's hand was still gripping the edge of his mask. Then she realized _he had pulled his mask down._ Her face grew even hotter, if that was possible, as her thoughts ran at a thousand miles an hour. They were mostly incoherent, but she could make out one thing: Kakashi just tried to _kiss_ her.

Kakashi looked behind his shoulder, beyond frustrated at the presence that had made themselves known. Why did someone have to interrupt now? He looked back at the lilac and noticed the disappointment on her flushed face. A smirk formed across his lips. "Someone's coming," he explained as he brushed over her bottom lip with his thumb. "We'll finish this when I get back from my mission."

Rairakku stood there, sputtering some incoherent nonsense while Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke. What were they going to be finishing, exactly? Her own thoughts had her staggering on her feet. What had just happened? Oh, yeah, Kakashi had tried to _kiss_ her... Why would he try to do that? Rairakku's head was spinning in all directions and showing no signs of stopping. It couldn't be that Kakashi felt the same way... Could it?


	15. Chapter 15: Changes

_Chapter 15: Changes_

Rairakku sat with Naruto a long time while he slept, exhausted from his fight and his wounds. They had exchanged words earlier. Rairakku had never seen the boy look so down and it hurt to see him so bandaged up like that, so she offered to stay with him a while. Anything she could do to let him know she was there for him would help, hopefully. But Sasuke was gone, and suddenly everything seemed like it was changing. She knew none of the genin would really be okay until Sasuke was back with them.

"Kakashi," Rairakku whispered frantically when she spotted him in the hallway. She leaped from her seat when she saw him; she had grown even more worried when she had heard that Kakashi had taken off after them. She gripped his arms and ignored the surprised expression on his masked face. "Did you find out how he's doing?"

He answered calmly, "Tsunade said he's going to be fine." He almost smiled when she finally released the breath she was holding in, along with his arms. Kakashi should have known that she would get worked up over this. She had such a caring nature for these kids, how could she not be worried?

"I'm glad," she whispered, looking down at the hospital floor. "I'm glad he made it back." She wanted to ask Kakashi how _he_ was doing. He had just lost a student and almost lost another one, but she couldn't find the words. The lilac took his hand, a gesture that surprised him, but he seemed to appreciate it.

They stood together in the hallway for a long, neither knowing what they should say. They hadn't spoken since he had left for his mission. Her face grew hot at the memory; she desperately wished for something to ease the tension between them. She could tell that he sensed it, too. Kakashi finally commented, "Jiraiya is taking him off to train."

"What? Really?" Rairakku asked, blinking in confusion. It was almost ironic that both Naruto and Sasuke would be in the hands of a Sanin. Although, Naruto was probably much better off than the Uchiha.

Kakashi nodded, leaning against the white wall behind them. "And Sakura has asked Tsunade to teach her medical ninjutsu," he continued.

Well, Sakura would be in good, if not violent, hands. Medical ninjutsu certainly suited the pink haired girl, and if Tsunade agreed to teach her, she must see the potential in Sakura. All of Team 7 would be under the Sanin now. "They're all growing up aren't they?"

He nodded silently again, inspecting her hand that was intertwined in his. Kakashi ran his thumb across Rairakku's palm. He was proud of Naruto and Sakura, but still... He couldn't help but feel a little bit wistful. He wouldn't be teaching them anymore. "I suppose I won't be their sensei anymore," he murmured.

Rairakku laughed openly, and the Copy Nin shot her a questioning look. "Kakashi, you will _always_ be their sensei."

* * *

><p>"Stay safe for me, alright?" Rairakku lectured, straightening Naruto's headband for him. She had taken the day off to make sure that she could say goodbye to him at the village gates. Jiraiya was looking a little impatient, but she didn't care. She had grown so attached to Naruto; it pained her to know that she wouldn't be able to see him for so long.<p>

And training with a Sannin? That was going to be brutal work. And Naruto had a reputation for going overboard. She wouldn't be surprised if he got himself seriously hurt. "Don't do anything too reckless, and don't overdo your training. I want you home in one piece." A grin spread across the blonde face, and he hugged her around the waist while he laughed. "Why are you laughing?"

"It's just," he began, releasing her after a moment. She was really going to miss that smile of his. "You really sound like my big sister when you say stuff like that!"

"Well, I might as well be!" the russet haired woman proclaimed as she knelt down to embrace the boy properly, blinking away tears. "And I'll miss my little brother every second that he's gone."

She heard Naruto begin to sniffle. "Y-You be in one piece, too, when I come back, Nee-chan."

"Deal."

* * *

><p>"Kakashi," she grumbled, crossing her arms across her chest. A certain Copy Nin had his hands on both of her shoulders, leading the woman somewhere. "Where are you taking me?"<p>

Kakashi had dragged her outside and insisted on taking her on a "date", or at least that's what he said. Rairakku wasn't exactly sure what he meant by that, and she certainly didn't know why she had to be blindfolded to get to this "date". There was no way this was a real date, was there? Of course, there was a small chance it really was a date. They hadn't had time to talk about their almost-kiss because of the whole Sasuke incident, and both of them had been swamped with missions ever since. A whole month had passed since that evening.

"Be patient. We're almost there," he chuckled a little too closely to her ear. It sent a shiver jolting down her spine, and her companion was quick to notice it. "I'm sorry if I'm making you feel nervous." He loosened his grip on her shoulders, as if that would help her calm down. It didn't. "You don't have to be nervous. We're here."

The silver haired man took his time untying the cloth around her eyes. When it was finally removed, her vision was met with... one of the training grounds. It was one she had been to dozens of times. She looked up and over her shoulder at Kakashi, slightly confused. His eye turned up in his signature smile. "I thought this would be a nice place to have lunch," he stated cheerfully, holding out a bento for her. "I bought you your favorite."

Rairakku suppressed a happy squeak as she eagerly took the box from his hands. If it had all of her favorites that meant only one thing: _sweets_. Suddenly, she seemed to have forgotten how frustrated she was over being blindfolded. There was a spring in her step as she followed her companion to a shady area beneath a fairly large tree. Inside of the box she found an assortment of all her favorite treats; she nearly drooled at the sight.

"You didn't have to do all of this, Kaka— oh! Manju! And kompeito! Kakashi, I could kiss—!" The lilac caught herself before she could finish that embarrassing sentence, stuffing a strawberry manju into her mouth. She couldn't say anymore stupid things like that if her mouth was full.

Kakashi desperately tried not to smile at that comment and did his best to pretend that he hadn't heard her. They ate in comfortable silence for a long time until Kakashi finally spoke, "You know why I picked this place?" He paused for a moment to survey the surrounding around, a nostalgic look flickering through his visible eye. "This is where I first met you."

Rairakku raised her head to him before looking around her intently. "It is, isn't it?" she murmured, getting up from her spot under the tree. The russet haired woman stood in the clearing pointing toward the ground with a smile spreading across her lips. "I remember. I was standing right over there, and you were over there, _glaring_ at me."

"I never glared at you," Kakashi protested as he got up to join her. He took his place in the spot he had been standing in over fourteen years ago. It seemed so long ago when he young, bitter, and foolish, and she was tattered, odd, and skittish. They had certainly changed since then hadn't they? "And if I did, it was in confusion. I didn't know what you were doing here or why you were so _scared_ of me. Hiding behind Obito like that." He took a step towards her, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Why were you so scared of me back then? I didn't bite."

"You might as well have," she grumbled, puffing out her cheeks. Surely Kakashi hadn't forgotten about the way he used to treat her? He had glared at her, scoffed at her dreams, and said cruel things. "Don't act like you didn't hate me at first."

Her companion frowned, continuing to advance towards her. "Hate is a strong word. If anything I... disliked you." He reached out and ruffled her long hair in an attempt to annoy her. It didn't exactly work as planned.

"But... you don't feel that way now... Right?" she whispered, her gaze shifting towards the ground and fidgeting with her. She knew what his answer would probably be, but she wanted to hear it for herself.

"Of course not." The silver haired man took her by the hand and gently pulled her back their shady picnic spot. "You know that." She expected them to continue their lunch, but that wasn't what Kakashi had in mind. This was the perfect moment to finally finish what he had started over a month ago. Hopefully there'd be no interruptions this time.

Rairakku realized why he had really had brought her out here for when she found herself being gently pressed up against the trunk of the tree they were under. She felt his breath, and her eyes slipped closed out of habit. Her name fell from his lips in a quiet murmur just before he caught her own. This was an entire month overdue. No, it was years overdue.

A contented hum trembled through her throat. Rairakku's arms snaked around his neck. His kiss was soft and tender, and soon enough she was kissing him back. It didn't take much for her to melt into absolute putty in his arms. Any nervousness she had before had faded away, and all that mattered was this moment. She had never felt so content and blissful in her life. But when he finally pulled away— "I love you." At least... That's what she thought she heard.

Everything went fuzzy for a moment. What did he just say? She jerked away from his touch, panting. "W-Where did this come from all of a sudden?" Her heart was beating so violently could barely hear her own words. She attempted to put some distance between the two of them, but it didn't work with her back already against the tree. Then she was hit with temporary confusion. His mask was already back up. How did he do that? She had just felt his bare lips against hers; _how had she not seen his face?_

"It isn't as out of the blue as you might think," he chuckled, scratching the back of his head. Although it was pretty amusing, he hadn't expected her to be this flustered. "I think I've felt this way for a long time now."

She didn't know how she was supposed to respond. Her brain had turned to mush, and it showed no signs of cooperating. This wasn't right; Kakashi wasn't supposed to actually return her affections. Suddenly, she wasn't shocked and dazed anymore. She was absolutely _terrified_. No one had ever said that to her before, what was she supposed to do?

Kakashi was quick to pick up on her fear that was in her eyes now. Odd, considering how quickly she responded to his kiss. Then it was obvious to him that she was frightened at the idea of a relationship. Well, if she was uncertain, he needed to give her time to think. "You don't have to answer me now," he stated in a low voice, trying to angle his head to get her to look at him, but she stared down hard at their feet. "But you should know—" That finally caused her head to snap back up, her eyes wide and blinking.

"I'll be pursuing you from now on."


	16. Chapter 16: Pursuing and Illness

_Chapter 16: Pursuing and Illness_

When he said he planned to pursue her, he really meant it. Rairakku had discovered that the hard way. There was that saying she remembered hearing about "the little things that really counted". With Kakashi, that was true. He didn't try to woo her with grand, elaborate romantic gestures. There were no grand surprises with rose petals and bottles of champagne that would pressure her into saying something she wasn't ready to say. That wasn't his style, but took her out on small, extremely thoughtful dates that usually ended with one of his tender kisses.

Which is what they were in the middle of right now. "Kakashi, I had a great time tonight," she murmured as she finally pulled away from his embrace, reluctantly, she might add. "But it's getting late." That didn't stop him from kissing her again. It was hard to keep him from doing that while she was against her apartment door. It was also hard to keep him from doing that, because, well, he was _so_ good at it.

"I know," he replied, finally pulling away. "Good night, Rairakku. I'll see you soon." Kakashi waited a moment before he turned to leave, but Rairakku only bit her lip in anxiousness. It was obvious she felt the same way. He hadn't expected that getting her to admit her feelings would be this hard.

But she hadn't been completely honest with him or herself... So she couldn't answer him... not yet.

* * *

><p>"Rairakku?" Kakashi called, peeking into her apartment. The door creaked open when he had knocked, so he cautiously stepped inside. Rairakku wasn't one for not locking her door. But the lilac waved to him from her small kitchen, she seemed to be in the middle of making herself dinner.<p>

Her face was flushed, her hair a mess, and she was dressed in her pajamas and bathrobe. "Are you not well? You look a little feverish." Kakashi pressed his hand to her forehead and was surprised at how hot she was to the touch before she ducked away looking embarrassed.

The russet haired woman gestured to her throat and attempted to speak, but all that came out was a raspy noise. She should have known better. Rairakku grabbed the note she had already jotted down from the counter from when her last visitor came by. She held it up for the Copy Nin to read. "_I got sick and now I have laryngitis_."

Kakashi knew Rairakku was not one to catch illness often, but when she did, she caught it bad. She had landed in the hospital more than once because of it, and each time was more worrying than the last. And he knew that being sick worried her much more than being injured. This was the first time she had ever lost her voice, though. "You should be in bed," he stated, not attempting to hide the concern in his voice.

She shook her head stubbornly, reaching for her pencil and notepad. This way of communication was more than a little annoying. Hopefully her voice would return to her soon. Rairakku handed him another note. This time, it read, "_I'm fine. I've got Akashio family soup_."

"No, get into bed. You need your rest. I'll finish heating that." He doubted that soup from Hideaki's mother was going to suddenly heal her. No matter how delicious it was. But Rairakku was stubborn about these things. She continued to stir her meal, despite the fact she looked a little wobbly on her feet. "Please, Rairakku?" he asked, gently reaching for the ladle in her hand.

Rairakku finally let him take it from her, but she kept her trusty notebook and pencil with her; she felt the need to lie down anyway. That cozy mattress of hers was calling her name. She fell onto the bed, rolling back and forth until she got into the right spot. Soon she was slipping into her sheets, and she was almost content until she had a coughing fit.

Luckily, Kakashi was there with her miraculous soup, all warm and perfect. "Say, 'Ah.'" Kakashi held out the spoon for her to eat. She was not amused by the gesture; there was no need for her to be fed like that. He didn't understand why she looked so uncomfortable; he had taken care of her before. "Fine, fine," he chuckled, handing her the bowl before pressing his masked lips to her forehead. "I'll make you some tea."

He certainly looked like he was having fun with this. She just wished she could share his mood, but her throat hurt too badly to be in good humor. The soup really was helping, though. She would have to thank Hideaki's mother personally. The only thing was that Rairakku always had the suspicion that his mother knew about their little fling, because she seemed set on the idea of the two of them getting married. As if that was ever going to happen.

When Kakashi returned, she had finished most of the bowl and eagerly accepted her cup of warm tea. It smelled sweet and herbal, and she couldn't remember which tea it was out of the dozens she kept in her cupboard. Whatever it was, Kakashi had added a little honey to it, which was definitely helping to soothe her ache throat. Rairakku set the cup on her nightstand and reached for her pencil and paper again, "_You didn't have to do this,_" she wrote before handing it to him.

He sat on the edge of her bed as he read it. His visible eye curved up in that signature smile of his. "I want to, Rairakku. You know how I feel about you," Kakashi stated, running her gloved hand through her hair. She settled into her bed and allowed her eyes to close, appreciating his gesture, but it was short-lived. "You should get your rest. I hope you feel better soon."

He paused for a moment, watching Rairakku quickly scribble something onto her notebook. She handed it to him with every large, expecting eyes. "_Do you have to go?_" it read.

Kakashi found himself smiling again. "I can stay if you like."

* * *

><p>It took Rairakku a good week to recover from her illness, but Kakashi had done a good job of caring for her and keeping her company while he could. He had received a mission and had to leave for it quickly, but she made a point of slipping him a note before he left. "<em>You won't have to wait much longer.<em>" It seemed to brighten him up, at the very least.

"Hey, Rairakku-chan, are you ready to go?" Hideaki call to her, adjusting the backpack hanging off of his shoulder.

Now that she had recovered, she was being sent out on a mission as well, and she was quite ecstatic about it. She was even more ecstatic about the fact that this was the first mission with Hideaki since her promotion. Rairakku had to keep herself from giggling. She _outranked _him now. "Of course."

It wasn't until they had started for the village gates that Rairakku realized just how uncomfortable this was going to be. Things had seemed kind of tense with the red head ever since Kakashi and Rairakku had started— she grimaced at the word— _dating_. Hideaki decided to completely ignore the mood, though, and just dived right into it. "So, how are things with Kakashi? Have you told him yet?"

"W-Well, no, not exactly. It's sort of complicated, you know?" It had to have been the lamest excuse that's ever left her lips. She wasn't even sure if what she just said even made any sense.

Hideaki was just as unimpressed with it as she was. "Look, I'm just going to say this once," the redhead huffed, grabbing her shoulders tightly. "I know... I know you're his— and don't say otherwise," he added quickly when she opened her mouth. "I just want you to know that... I'm really okay with it. I want you to be happy. And whatever it is that's keeping you from answering him, sort it out soon, okay? It's kinda of cruel to torture the guy like that."

Needless to say, Rairakku was more than surprised at his outburst. She always knew that Hideaki was somewhat jealous of Kakashi, but she never expected him to be so okay with the idea of her and Kakashi's relationship evolving into something more. Suddenly, she couldn't stop the words that came next. "Hideaki, there's something really important that I need to tell you—"

"It can wait until we finish the mission," he interrupted, pulling her along. "C'mon, we have to get going. We're late."


	17. Chapter 17: Gone

_Chapter 17: Gone_

Blood was creeping down his windpipe. Cold steel was sticking out of his chest. He could still feel it, at least. That was a good sign, but Hideaki was weakening by the minute. He had to stay awake. He had to keep his hold on his target. He had to live long enough to get this information back to the village. Because if he didn't, she would have no chance.

The connection was horrible now. If it was because of distance or the fact that he was... dying, he wasn't sure. All he could see was several men walking. His target turned briefly, looking at the men behind him. The men who were dragging her body along. Was she even still alive? She had to be. He had to do something; he had to save her. But how? He was slipping...

"_Over here! He's still alive!_"

"_What about the others?_"

"_Both dead, and there's one missing._" Had he been there so long that the village sent a team after them? But that meant Rairakku might be too far gone. "_Akashio-san? Can you hear me?_" The second a medic nin began working on him, he lost the connection. He found that his own vision was faded and dark, but he managed a nod.

"_Akashio-san, do you know where your team leader is?_"

Hideaki coughed up the blood blocking his airway, an action that made the blade in his chest cut deeper. Now there were two people tending to him, he felt the other put a hand on his shoulder. The two of them were slowly pulling the out the blade, healing the wound as it came, but it only made him slip closer to unconsciousness. Hideaki found the strength to choke out a single word before he fell completely. "T-Taken."

* * *

><p>Kakashi flipped another page in his orange book as leaned back onto his pillow. His muscles were still aching from the mission he had gotten back from earlier that day, so he was taking the opportunity to relax. And it would be nice to get a full night's rest for a change. The sun had already set over the horizon hours ago, and now he was just killing time until sleep set in. The current volume his nose was stuck in was not helping. He was almost to the really juicy part when he heard a knock at the door.<p>

The silver haired man frowned, gazing at the door a few moments while the person kept bashing at the other side before he decided to finally get up answer it. It was Izumo, and the look on the man's face gave Kakashi pause. It was worrisome; scenarios were already flashing through Kakashi's mind.

"Kakashi-san," he stated quickly in a somber tone. The brunette wasn't looking him in the eye, more towards their feet, as if he was trying to compose himself. It was working, but only just. So much had happened in the past few hours that Izumo wasn't sure just how much longer he would be able to keep it together. "Tsunade-sama needs to see you immediately."

Now? He had been in her office only hours ago. What had happened since then? Kakashi of all people knew that the Hokage wouldn't be asking for him at this hour unless something was wrong. "What's happened?" the jounin asked, standing a little straighter.

Izumo stared harder at the ground. "... I'm not supposed to discuss it with you," he muttered, never looking up for a second. That meant it was serious. Now his mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour.

A frown plastered itself on Kakashi's face. "I'll be right there," the jounin answered. Izumo didn't stick around; he probably had more people to inform.

* * *

><p>It had only taken Kakashi moments to get ready and get there, but with the thoughts running through his mind, it felt like hours. The door to Tsunade's office had been left cracked open, so he didn't waste any time knocking. Tsunade almost didn't notice him at first. She was staring hard at the documents on her desk, deep in thought. Shizune shifted uncomfortably in the corner, clipboard in her arms and Tonton sitting at her feet.<p>

He finally cleared his throat, and the blonde woman's hair jerked up. The look in her eyes was too ominous for his liking. "You asked for me, Tsunade-sama?" he asked, his tone flat and serious.

"There's been an incident," she began. Kakashi braced himself for what came next. An _incident_ was never good. "One of our teams was sent on an escort mission a few days ago... They were set up. The client had been paid off, and they were overwhelmed by enemy ninja." A sigh fell from her lips. The pause was nerve racking. "Two of our own are dead, one is fatally wounded and the odds are stacked against him. And the team's leader has been captured. It seems they killed the client as well to try and cover their tracks."

Tsunade paused again to stare at the document on her desk before continuing, "From the information we have, the group was made up of mercenaries and Kiri ninja. They're heading towards Kirigakure now. A message has been sent to the Mizukage informing her on the situation, though I'm not sure how she'll respond. In the meantime, you're going to lead the retrieval team."

Kakashi nodded curtly. This situation was... rare, to say the least. No doubt his team would be comprised of only jounin. But still, he couldn't help but feel that Tsunade was avoiding a certain detail in all of this. "Who was the team's leader?"

"Rairakku." For a moment it felt as if his heart had stopped beating. No. It was as if someone had cut it out without warning. This couldn't be true. He had wondered why she hadn't gotten back from the mission she had been sent on, and now he knew. And now he knew why Tsunade had called him down here. As soon as word had gotten out about this, he would have gone after her anyway. He couldn't lose her. He wouldn't. "I know the two of you are close. Can you think of any reason anyone would target her?"

It took him more than a moment for him to collect his thoughts. At the mention of Kirigakure, one name did come to mind. "There was a jounin from Kirigakure who we collaborated with on a mission once. His name was Gorou. He seemed... more than a little interested in her, and we were both wary of his intentions. He took many opportunities to seek her out when he was here for the chuunin exam with his team..." Kakashi tried to think back. She had mentioned that the man had asked her out for lunch and that she was going to take him up on his offer, but she had never told him what had happened. And the thought of what that man had done with her... "I'm not sure whether or not she found out why."

"That's something at least," the Hokage muttered beneath her breath. She gestured to Shizune, and the woman scuttled out of the room, presumably to look up the shinobi in question. "Before you pack, stop by the hospital and see if Akashio Hideaki has given them anything else to go on." So he was the one who had gotten the information back. There was a somber look on the woman's face, though, and her answer made him hurry. "It's not looking good for him."

* * *

><p>He couldn't have gotten to the hospital fast enough. He wasn't going to waste a single second, not with Rairakku's life hanging in the balance. One of the shinobi that had questioned Hideaki said they hadn't gotten any more information, but he wanted to talk to him in person.<p>

The incident had left the hospital deathly quiet. The first thing he noticed was the couple in the hallway. The older man was trying his best to consol the balling woman in his arms. They must be Hideaki's parents, mourning because soon they would outlive their son. As soon as Kakashi saw that, he knew he was in the right place. Kotetsu and Izumo were there, too, and Anko was pacing not too far away from them. No one even seemed to notice him when he walked by to enter the room.

Tsunade hadn't lied. Kakashi had never seen so much medical equipment attached to one person. He really wasn't going to make it. At least he was conscious at the moment. He couldn't be sure for how long though.

"You gonna... b-bring her back?" the redhead stammered weakly, his breath raspy and shallow. The man couldn't even turn his head to look at Kakashi properly, and his once vibrant emerald eyes were dull and faded. It was a shock that he even noticed Kakashi in the room. Kakashi nodded in response; he couldn't think of what he should say. "... Good... Can you do something for me?" The smallest hint of a small appeared on the Hideaki's lips. "Tell her... I'm sorry, okay? For everything."

Hideaki paused for a moment, his eyes shutting. From what Kakashi could tell, even talking was too much for him at this point. "Can you promise... to take care of her once she's back? I was... never any good at that," he whispered, his tone almost desperate.

"You have my word." And the Copy Nin was going to keep to it. He was going to bring Rairakku back, _alive_, no matter what it took. Hideaki showed little sign of response, so Kakashi quietly took his leave.

He was almost to the end of the hall when he heard the flat line.


	18. Chapter 18: Are You Lost?

_Chapter 18: Are You Lost?_

_The ground was wet and cold, and the sky was turning black and ghastly between the trees. What kind of place was this? Plum eyes opened and closed slowly, over and over, trying to make sense of things, but her vision was blurred. Where was she? Drops of icy water fell upon her, and that's when her sight finally cleared. There was a hand above her, trying to block the rain. Wait, no. It was her hand, and it was starting to rain on her. She was lying on her back; that's why she was looking at the sky. Feeling finally coursed through her arms and legs. She stared at her hand, as if it would disappear on her. It was in that moment that she realized there was an even bigger question than her whereabouts... She didn't know who she was. _

_The realization was startling. Who was she? The small girl kicked her legs about, as if to test them, before she rolled over in the wet dirt, trying to stand. She succeeded with a little bit of effort, but found her legs heavy and wobbly. This place didn't seem safe, and the rain was coming down even harder now. She moved her short legs as fast she could, looking for a sheltered area as the rain pelted down on her. The floral clothing she was wearing weighed her down, and the sleeves were long. The right one caught on a branch and whipped her sideways; her sandals were sent flying. All she could do now was lie on the ground and whimper. The rain still poured down on her. _

_"Hey, are you alright?" she heard someone ask, after about an hour or so. She was cold, wet, and muddy, and that numb feeling was setting into her limbs again. Maybe she would fall back asleep and this will all have been a dream. But an orange and black figure hovered above her, onyx eyes blinking, and she knew she wasn't dreaming. "Are you lost?" _

_A cry tore from her throat, startling the boy, but she didn't care. She just wanted to get away. "It's okay! I'm not going to hurt you!" he started, trying to keep her from crawling away. She didn't seem to believe him, though, so he let her calm down. She hid behind the nearest tree, peeping her tiny russet head around the corner. _

_"I'm not gonna hurt you," the boy repeated patiently. Soon enough she was circling around the large oak towards him, but she still clung to the trunk tightly. "Did you get separated from your parents? Do you need me to help you find them? What's your name?" _

_What was her name? Her name? How could she possibly know that? "I-I d-d-don't..." The girl found herself startled by the sound of her own voice. Tear built up in the little one's large eyes and they quickly spilt over. "I don't know!"_

_He held up his hands defensively, as if it would calm her. It didn't. "Ah! Please don't cry!" The boy took a few more steps towards the girl, trying not to spook her again. But she was too hysterical to notice him advancing. "Hey, you can come with me. We'll figure it out together. Is that okay?" He held out his hand for her to take, and she stared at it intently, sniffling and wondering if she should take it. His grin was awfully convincing, and soon she found her fingers laced with his. _

_"__**I'm Obito.**__"_

"Rise and shine."

* * *

><p>"C'mon. Get up. Don't tell me we killed you." Something dug hard and deep into Rairakku's ribs and she felt herself slide against the wooden floor. Even when she hit the wall behind her, she still felt like she was moving. It was as if she was rocking back and forth, over and over. She tried to open her eyes, but the sensation made her feel sick. A groan escaped her parched throat; every inch of her felt battered and bruised.<p>

"You aren't going to be sick are you? 'Cuz I have to clean that." Whoever the voice belonged to kicked her in the stomach again, so hard this time that she felt blood pass through her lips. Where was she? The last thing she remembered was... being attacked.

Her head shot up off the wooden floor as she finally realized it. She had been captured. Rairakku writhed as she tried to get a hold of her surroundings, but her arms and legs were bound so tightly that when she tried to move them her bindings cut deep into her flesh. A chuckle sounded from the other side of the room at her struggle.

When her eyes finally adjusted, she noticed the room was dim, and there was a certain sound that went along with the rocking. She was on a ship of some sort. There was a blonde man sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, playing with a knife and smirking. He looked far too happy for her liking. She didn't like the way he was licking his lips either. "Wha... What do you want from me?" she grumbled, struggling over the words.

The blonde man scoffed, still amused by her apparent frustration. "It's not me who wants you, exactly. You'll find out soon enough," he answered, staring back down at his knife for a brief moment. Rairakku got the impression he was thinking of a good spot to stick it in her. The feeling only intensified when he rose from his seat and approached her. "Gorou was right. You do look just like her. Curls and all." He pulled on a lock of her hair for good measure, watching the curl bounce back. That proved to her that she was out at sea somewhere.

Gorou was here? Who was it that she looked like? The man ran his index finger over her swollen cheek, and she flinched at the gesture. "That reminds me—" he muttered, suddenly rising from the floor, and exiting the room. She heard him then call out in a loud voice, "Gorou, do you mind if I... have the girl for a little while. It's hard not to want to... seize the opportunity, what with that face of hers."

For the first time in years, Rairakku felt a shudder of true fear go through her body. She struggled harder against her bindings, but to no avail. She felt blood nearly pouring from her legs, but she didn't care. "I wouldn't. Seijiya-sama specifically mentioned that he wanted her _untouched_," she heard through the wall.

"Fine," she heard the man reply, a bit disappointedly. It stilled her racing heart, but only for a moment, because a certain older Kiri ninja entered the room. She should have known that he would pull something. He seemed so obsessed with getting her during the exams, but with everything that had happened over the past few months she had forgotten about him.

Gorou smiled at her far too kindly. There was a look in his eye, and the lilac recognized it. It was the same sinister gleam that the blonde man had. Gorou was tempted by the idea, too. And when he actually put his hands on her, she actually had to bite her lip to keep herself from crying out in fright. "I'm sorry about all of this. It's just a precaution. We can't have you slipping away, can we?" he asked slyly, lifting her up into a sitting position against the wall. Then he let her go.

"What do you want from me?" she found herself repeating, wriggling away to put some distance between herself and the man.

"Be patient. You'll find out as soon as we get there," Gorou answered, pulling a cloth out of his back pocket. The russet haired woman thrashed about as he tried to gag her with it. She still wanted answers. He looked just as amused by her struggle as the other man had, and he successfully tied the cloth around her head. "He'll be _very_ happy to see you..." Gorou paused, nearly grinned, and brushed his hand over her cheek.

"...Mitsuko."

* * *

><p>They moved in swift silence. Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai had barely uttered a word after Kakashi briefed them on their retrieval mission. For that, Kakashi was grateful. He didn't want to waste any time on talking. There was one question on everyone's mind though, and that was motive. Who would gain anything from capturing Rairakku?<p>

The site of the attack was their first stop, and it wasn't hard to find a faint trail of blood, a trail of blood that clearly didn't belong to the three deceased members of Rairakku's team. Now that they had their direction, they were on their own. All they knew was who they were supposed to be looking for, the Kiri and mercenary ninja, and Kakashi couldn't be one hundred percent certain that Gorou was behind this.

"They've got quite a head start on us," Kurenai mentioned, trying not to stare too intently on all the blood around them. She was almost sure she spotted a chunk of flesh from one of the victims in one of those crimson pools. Not a pretty sight. "Do we have a plan?"

"We'll catch them," Kakashi assured, though if he was really trying to convince himself, he wasn't sure. Besides, they didn't know enough about their enemy to plan anything detailed. Right now they just had to find her. "We need to move quickly."

It was hard to keep a steady pace towards their destination. All that Kakashi could think about was if Rairakku was still alive. She had to be. Every second he wasted was one more second she was with her captors, and he didn't want to think about what they had done to her. He had to try and keep his mind clear, though. If he wasn't careful, he would lose her...

If she wasn't lost already.


	19. Bonus Chapter: Drunken Awkwardness

**A/N: ****ATTENTION READERS, I HAVE A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: **

**I have a special surprise for you. A little bonus chapter! I hope you all enjoy it! This is partially in honor of Kakashi's birthday today, and partially in honor of you readers. You have help me reach what I thought was impossible. Last weekend I logged on and discovered something shocking. This story had reached 10,000+ views. I could not be more happy right now, and it's all thanks to you lovely people! This is my promise to you that I will NEVER abandon this story. I will see it through to it's completion because you all deserve it. Thank you so much for your support!**

* * *

><p><em>Bonus Chapter: Drunken Awkwardness<em>

"Hey," the russet haired woman slurred, her head hanging limply from her captor's shoulder. She tapped the man hard on the chest with her left hand to try and get his attention. It was unnecessary; all of his focus was on the lilac lying across his arms. "Hey, 'Kashi, where're you taking me?"

"Home," Kakashi answered, somewhat frustrated by her recent behavior. Rairakku seemed to be going through a phase where she seemed to be indulging in alcoholic beverages now that she was the legal drinking age of twenty. He found it oddly suspicious. Rairakku had never seemed interested in that sort of thing until a few months ago, and when it came to getting drunk, she managed it in minutes. The woman couldn't hold her liquor to save her life. The Copy Nin felt a sigh pass his masked lips. Helping a hopelessly drunken woman back to her apartment was not how he had planned to spend his twenty-fifth birthday.

"Why am I... going home? I was havin' fun," she groaned into his ear, but one part slightly-sober part of her wasn't complaining. Kakashi was nice and warm on this cool night, and his shoulder made a very good headrest. And maybe it was the sake talking, but she was really enjoying leaning against him tonight.

"Really? Because I found you crying on Anko's shoulder," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly, turning his gaze towards her. Over the past month Kakashi had grown really concerned over her new habit. He was beginning to wonder if she had a problem.

A deep frowned grew on her forehead. "I wasn't crying," Rairakku grumbled under her breath. "None of your business..." After that, however, she fell very still and silent. Kakashi would have checked her pulse if she didn't finally nuzzle his neck, seemingly asleep. The silver haired jounin ignored the few looks he was getting on the street; no doubt he would hear about them in the morning.

"Rairakku, we're here," Kakashi said, jarring the girl awake. He managed to set her on her feet without her stumbling, but she had a hard time finding her keys. Kakashi saved her the trouble by fishing out the spare key she had given him. "Do you need help to your room?" he asked, but he quickly got his answer when she nearly fell face first into her hardwood floors. The man held her up by her waist, and Rairakku didn't seem to mind being dragged to her bedroom.

The twenty year old started to protest, "I got it. I got it." Rairakku slapped at his hands until he released her. She finally managed to stand up all by herself, and grinned as if she was proud of herself for being able to walk.

Kakashi hardly noticed her, though. Something about her apartment was off. The room was far too hot and stifling for his liking; was something wrong with her air conditioner? He left her to her own devices while he searched for the thermostat. "Rairakku, is your AC broken?" he called once he discovered that the setting claimed the room was supposed to be near freezing.

"Yeah... Stupid landlord hasn't sent people to fix it," Kakashi heard her mutter from the bedroom. He heard her groan in frustration, and thought he might as well help her get into bed. He immediately regretted that decision. The jounin found himself frozen in the doorway, blinking in shock at the fact the lilac had stripped down to her underwear. "How're you not burning up?" she asked, looking over at him as she pulled her bra over her head.

Heat travelled up his neck and burned his cheeks. Kakashi turned around as quickly as possible, trying not to see what she certainly wouldn't be showing him if she was sober. He needed to leave before she decided to remove her last article of clothing.

"Thanks for bringin' me home 'Kashi," he heard her murmur, and a pair of arms circled his chest in an unbelievably uncomfortable hug. "Are ya sure you aren't hot?" Rairakku pulled down the zipper of his vest, and Kakashi felt a jolt down his spine.

He was quick to shake her off, not caring at this point when he heard her stumble backwards. If Rairakku was sober enough to notice, she would have commented that she had never seen the man look that flustered before. "Goodnight, Rairakku," Kakashi called quickly over his shoulder as he walked briskly towards the front door. He wasn't staying here a second longer.

He didn't look her in the eye again for an entire month.


	20. Chapter 19: Who Are You?

_Chapter 19: Who Are You?_

The journey to Kirigakure had been a lengthy one. With each second that passed, Kakashi became more and more doubtful of Rairakku's survival. It was impossible not to be realistic at this point, especially once they passed the forty-eight hour mark. What were her chances now? He wouldn't leave Water Country without her, but would he be bringing back a corpse?

A group of ninja were waiting for them at the gate. The Mizukage must have received Tsunade's message, but he was wary of the escort sent for his team. It seemed as though they were trying to keep the news of this is isolated as possible. When they entered the woman's office, Kakashi even noticed that there weren't as many shinobi keeping watch over her as there would have been normally.

The woman leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs when she saw his team enter her chambers. "I received the Hokage's message," she started, flipping her long hair over her shoulder. Kakashi wasn't sure if he liked her tone; it was almost as if she felt too annoyed by the situation to take it seriously.

"I assure you, if my men launched an attack, it was without my knowledge. I don't know what you intend to find here." The brunette gazed at her desk for a moment, looking back over the message, Kakashi guessed. "What's this woman you're looking for's name?"

"Rairakku," the Copy Nin answered. The Mizukage continued to stare at him expectantly, so he elaborated, "No family name." Maybe it was about time he jumped right to the point. "We have a suspicion that a man named Gorou is behind this."

She practically shot up in her chair at the name. It was almost as if Kakashi had hit a nerve. There was a suspicious look in her eye now; perhaps it was a good thing. "Hyouchuu Gorou? Your reason being?" she inquired.

The jounin cleared his throat, trying to think of how to describe the way Gorou had been with Rairakku. The word "obsessed" seemed too strong, while simply "interested" wasn't strong enough, but he didn't know how else to describe it. "He acted suspicious when they first met on a collaborated mission. While in Konoha several months ago for the chuunin exams, he sought her out multiple times and seemed too fascinated by her for him to be ignored as a suspect."

A chuckled left the woman's throat. That was Gorou's way with women, all right. "Well, that certainly _sounds_ like Gorou; he's very forward, but I don't think that's enough to accuse him." Still, Kakashi couldn't help but think he had definitely gotten her attention. The Mizukage was wary of him, too. She just didn't want to show it. "You have a picture of this girl?"

Kakashi had brought along the photo from Rairakku's file specifically for this purpose. He stepped forward and handed it to the woman cautiously; he didn't want to make a sudden movement and alert her guards. The Mizukage stared hard at picture and suddenly a strange expression appeared on her face. It almost a look of... recognition. "Something wrong, Mizukage-sama?"

His voice seemed to break her from a daze. "I hate to say it, but she does look familiar," the woman answered. It was obvious she was trying to place where she had seen Rairakku before. Kakashi didn't know what to make of it. Rairakku had never been sent to Kirigakure before; how would she recognize her? "But not someone I've seen recently."

The Mizukage quickly picked up a pen and scribbled something onto a piece of paper. "One of you pull a file for me," she ordered, handing one of the men the slip of paper. "And be quick about it."

* * *

><p>Rairakku spent most of her trip somewhere on the very edge of consciousness and unconsciousness. Sometimes she could tell she was out for more than a day, but others she was only gone for a few hours. She preferred the former of the two; that blonde man, Kimpatsu, took every opportunity when she was awake to inflict as much pain as he possibly could. She guessed it was because he had been forbidden to touch her any other way.<p>

She wasn't exactly sure where they were keeping her, but she assumed it was somewhere in Water Country and some place isolated. The building she was simply a series of dark rooms, but they seemed to be well kempt. That didn't make being trapped there anymore pleasant, though, and the constant waiting was absolutely killing her.

Finally, Gorou and the others announced that they were going to take her to whoever this Seijiya person was that seemed to be in charge. But they insisted that she needed to look presentable. Unfortunately, Gorou made that Kimpatsu's job. "You caused most of them," the older man had stated as he gestured towards the wounds on her face. "You clean her up."

So began the long process of letting that horrible man bandage her up. Gorou kept a careful eye on him, and Rairakku couldn't believe how she was almost grateful for that. The blonde man was forced to be on good behavior, but he made up for it when he enjoyed watching her cringe from the disinfectant. It was enough pain to make her start to slip again.

"Seijiya-sama, she's here," she heard Gorou call from the other room. The russet haired woman immediately braced herself. Every instinct inside her told her to figure out a way to run, but she knew that would be useless now.

Another voice rang out behind the wall. "Well, what are you waiting for? Bring her in here." The very sound of the man's voice made her cringe. Kimpatsu grabbed her as soon as he heard the command and nearly through her through the doorway; the plum eyed girl fell into a crumpled mess on the floor. There was no way to stop the fall with her limps still bound.

Gorou knelt to collect the young woman, but someone grabbed her first. A man with light brown, shoulder length, graying hair pulled her up and set her on a chair of some sort. Based on his appearance, she could tell that he was definitely a high ranked shinobi. "Hello, Mitsuko, it's been a while," the man greeted with a smile that made her shudder. "You've certainly grown."

She recoiled at the familiarity in which this addressed her. Rairakku had never seen this man before; what was he talking about? But she decided to hold her tongue since he went so far as to cut the bindings from her wrists and ankles.

"Well, well, well," he murmured once he read the expression on her face. "You were right Gorou. She doesn't remember a thing. I should have assumed as much. Good work." She saw the other man bow slightly from the corner of her eye. "Though we will have to figure out how to unlock this," he mentioned, tapping her gently on her forehead. "See if you can find anything on that."

"Right away, Seijiya-sama," Gorou stated. Clearly Seijiya had this man's unwavering loyalty.

"Leave us," Seijiya ordered, still looking directly at Rairakku's face. Gorou exited the room as requested, and now she was left alone with this strange man. He actually reached forward and inspected her busted lip. She had to fight the urge to try and bite his finger off. "You'll have to forgive Kimpatsu. He gets far too carried away." The man finally backed away from her and took a seat in another chair on the other side of the small room. "I'm sure you're wondering why you've been brought here, Mitsuko—"

"That's not my name," she snapped harshly. She was sick of these men calling her that. They must have grabbed the wrong girl, right? She was _Rairakku_, not Mitsuko.

Her outburst didn't upset him. In fact, it made a grin spread across his lips. "Of course, what is it now? Rairakku?" he questioned with an amused tone, resting his elbows on his knees. "And a Konoha kunoichi of all things. I never would have guessed." The man nearly laughed at the notion.

The question passed through her lips before she could stop herself. "Who are you?"

* * *

><p>Kakashi was growing more impatient by the second, but he didn't show it. Still, there was a certain aura in the room. His current teammates were getting restless as well. Why did it feel like they were just wasting time here? How long did it take to find a file? It almost felt as if the Mizukage was stalling.<p>

However, just as that thought had entered his mind, the shinobi guard entered again with a fairly thick file in tow. Then she did something unexpected; she dismissed all of the other guards in the room. At least that was a sign Kakashi and his team had gained her trust. "Here we go," the Mizukage began, plucking a photo from the document. Her lips twitched into a knowing smile, as if she had figured something out. "How long have you known this girl you're looking for?"

Kakashi found himself frowning at the question. Now she was beating around the bush. "Fourteen years or so. Why?"

"That sounds about right..." the woman mused to herself. He wished she would let the rest of them in on her little revelation. She began flipping through the pages inside the manila folder. "Do you know who Shincho Manami is?"

"Shincho Manami? Can't say that I do." He turned his head towards his teammates, raising his visible eyebrow towards them. They had no idea who the woman was talking about either. He certainly didn't see what this had to do with Rairakku. "Why?"

She pushed the file towards the end of her desk, keeping the photograph for herself, though. Kakashi wasn't the only one lean over her desk and examine it. Now Kakashi knew why it had taken so long to find this. There was a large, red stamp on it that read "Deceased".

The brunette then held up the picture of Rairakku to them before setting it side by side with the photo she had removed from the file. "I asked because the picture you just handed to me is of the daughter she claimed she murdered," the Mizukage answered.

"She is the spitting image," Kakashi heard Gai breathe from his left, and he was right. The resemblance between the two was uncanny. They even looked the same age. The only noticeable difference was that the other woman had long, loose curls that fell about her shoulders. There was a lot more going on here than they first realized.


	21. Chapter 20: Mitsuko

_Chapter 20: Mitsuko_

"You think Rairakku is this woman's daughter?" It was the strangest notion at first. Kakashi had always known Rairakku as an orphan, or at least she was assumed an orphan. But, even he had to admit, this wasn't outside the realm of possibility. No one had known her past, and she had been accepted into Konohagakure with little question. After all, she was a young, defenseless girl who had lost her memory; there was no reason to turn her away.

That didn't mean that her past had disappeared, though, but he had never expected it would catch up with her after so long. It was hard to deny the fact that Rairakku and this mysterious woman weren't related in some way. "Would that make her a greater target to anyone in particular?" Kakashi asked; he was still more interested in how this information would help him get Rairakku back.

"Well, if she is, her real name would be Mitsuko," the Mizukage corrected. She paused to pick the file she had shown them back up, her eyes glancing over the pictures of both women once more. The woman's tone grew more serious and her eyebrows furrowed together in thought. "And yes, it would."

She began flipping through the document, and Kakashi noticed the faint outline of a stamp that read "Classified". "The official report will tell you that Manami fled with her daughter after she was discovered in a plot against the council. She was eventually capture one year later and told her captors that she killed her daughter in order to 'keep her safe'. But she was killed before she could reveal the location of the girl's body," the woman chuckled wryly as she said it. The way she said "the official report" was as if she didn't believe it herself.

Mitsuko? It was so strange to hear her being called by anything else, because she was always Rairakku. Obito had chosen that name for her and she had embraced it and never looked back. He was beginning to cling to the "if" in the Mizukage's statement. _If_ Rairakku was really this lost girl, but somehow he knew that wouldn't be the case.

"There has always been suspicion about that report, though. Manami had always been a loyal kunoichi, or so I'm told. And, of course, there have always been rumors surrounding the man who carried out her execution..." The woman started to trail off in thought once again, her brow furrowing. "Rumors that he set her up. They were never spoken of publically, of course, and the Mizukage before me didn't take any stock in them. The council practically praised him for disposing a traitor."

"But you have your doubts," Kakashi stated, and the Mizukage's jade eyes snapped to meet his.

* * *

><p>"Oh, Rairakku, you hurt me so," the man grasped his heart in his right hand in mock injury. Rairakku found herself glaring at that smirk on his lips. She couldn't help but press back in her chair when turned his gaze back to her. "How could you possibly not remember me?"<p>

At least he wasn't calling her Mitsuko anymore, but she couldn't possibly know this man. She had never seen him before. Or had she? He gave off the same sort of presence that Gorou had when she first met him, charming but somehow sinister. Her entire being begged her to run away from this man; but, then again, that could be attributed to the situation she was in. But he had mentioned unlocking her, and somehow he knew she had missing memories. Nevertheless, she insisted, "I don't know you."

The man glared back at her briefly, but it seemed to be more in thought than in anger. "I never knew Manami's ability to be so advanced, for it to be able to hold for this long," he murmured to himself, an action that confused Rairakku even more. What was he talking about? Who was Manami? "I wonder. How did she manage to repress eight whole years?"

"Ah, but I'm being rude, aren't I? I'm sure my subordinates haven't been treating you very well. Would you like something to drink?" He didn't wait for her to answer; he glided across the room and disappeared behind a different door than she remembered entering in. Rairakku briefly pondered bolting for it, but she felt so weak; if she took on the shinobi he had stationed, she doubted she'd win.

She wouldn't have had the time to, anyway; he returned to the room almost ten seconds later with a glass of what appeared to be water. Seijiya held it out to her, but she simply stared at him with venom in her eyes. "It isn't poisoned, I assure you." He stopped to take a sip of it to prove it to her.

Finally, she concluded that he probably wouldn't have had her bought all this way just to poison her, so she accepted it. "You... You said you wanted to unlock something?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"That's more like it," he chuckled, a grin forming back on his face. "Allow me to show you around the place, perhaps that'll spark something. I have quite a story to tell you." He held out a hand for her to take, staring at her expectantly.

And she took it.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, the place they were holding her was under this man's house. It was the strangest thing; he kept staring at her as they entered each room, as his he was gauging her reaction, but she couldn't tell why. If she was supposed to remember something about this place, she couldn't. Perhaps it was because her whole body was so weak that she was mostly concentrating on limping around the place, but she couldn't be sure.<p>

The only thing she could tell was that he must be fairly wealthy here. She had never been in a manor quite so large. She had also never been in a place that gave her such a disturbing vibe. Why was this place so cold?

"This way," Seijiya directed, pointing towards another hallway. He had been following behind her, and she guessed that was so he would have a better reaction time if she tried to escape. There was no way she was going to try anything now, though. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her. What did this man know about her past? And why had he been so eager to bring her here?

The russet haired woman made her way down the hallway as instructed. A chill shuddered through her body, and she realized that it wasn't the house that was so cold. It was just her. There was only one door at the end of hall, and she felt the man behind her give her a push between her shoulder blades towards it, as if that would make her more compliant. Of course, she didn't have much choice in the matter.

The man gave her another push inside, and she was sure that she wasn't going to enjoy what was hiding on the other side, but she was only half right. There was nothing particularly dangerous hiding on the other side. It looked like a child's room and one that had been left to rot and dust at that. The walls were a cross between cream and a sort of pink color, and there was a group of toys strategically organized on the small, white wooden dresser.

The more steps she took forward the more chilled she became. Her fingertips were starting to tingle and become numb. This time Seijiya didn't need to nudge her forward; she moved on her own towards that white dresser. She could feel the man behind her growing more encouraged by her actions, but she couldn't help it. Something _was_ familiar about this place.

Her brow furrowed as she plucked up a small, dust-covered porcelain doll. She brushed the dust from its ginger hair and off of her periwinkle dress. There was a light crack over its pale face... From where she had dropped it. It had slipped from her tiny hands and hit the corner of the dresser, and she had started to cry, because it was her favorite.

"Oh, don't worry, little one," a woman had told her. She placed a kiss on her forehead to try and ease her crying. "I'll make sure she gets fixed. Now, now, it's not the end of the world." Rairakku had turned her watery eyes towards her, and she smiled back, plum eyes twinkling.

Plum eyes... Eyes like her own. The woman from her dreams had given her this and offered to fix it. This had been her room... Rairakku felt room slowly beginning to spin and her arms and legs completely lost feeling. She couldn't stop herself before she crumpled to the floor. It was her mother, wasn't it? The woman from her dreams had been her mother. And Seijiya was...

* * *

><p>Kakashi's words were still hanging in the air. To say she had doubts about the official report was an understatement. "You said you suspected Gorou. Well, this man has Gorou's unwavering loyalty," the Mizukage continued with a sigh. "His name is Yutaka Seijiya, and I've been suspicious of him from the moment I was initiated." The brunette tapped a pen against the edge of her desk in thought. She had always been wary of that man, but the council got in the way of her ever finding out his true motives.<p>

"You see, he wasn't very happy when I was named Mizukage," she explained, a glower forming on her face at the memories. She turned her glare towards the window behind her. "And of course there's the matter of his relation to Mitsuko," the woman added, turning back towards the photo of Rairakku on her desk.

The Copy Nin found himself blinking in confusion. "Relation?" he questioned, leaning forward. What exactly did she mean by that?

"Well, he is her father," the Mizukage stated nonchalantly, rising from her seat. Kakashi felt his body go completely ridged. Her father? Now he hoped more than ever that Rairakku wasn't this lost Mitsuko girl. "I think the five of us should go pay him a visit, wouldn't you agree?"

* * *

><p>She was in one of the basement rooms again, lying on the cold floor. There were voices near here, but she couldn't be bothered with them at the moment, not while her head was like this. Rairakku tried to shift and felt her arms and legs tightly bound together again. Wire was cutting back into her wounds once more, and she was so used to the pain at this point that she didn't even bother fighting it.<p>

"It'd be best to leave her tied up for a little while," she heard the leader say, his voice firm and cold. "We can't be sure just how much she'll remember." What all did she remember, exactly? She remembered her mother, and she remembered that Seijiya was her... No, he couldn't be. If he was, why had he brought her here in such a violent manner?

There was a loud clatter, almost like a panicked person was running through one of the rooms. "S-Seijiya-sama," called a voice, one she hadn't heard before. One of the guards outside her room, maybe? He sounded like he had been chosen to be the bearer of bad news. "I've just received word from our contact in Mizukage's that Konoha ninja are here. Th-They're looking for her."

"Gorou," Seijiya started, his tone threatening. Rairakku had to admit that she would hate to be Gorou while Seijiya was using that kind of tone. "I thought you said you took care of them all? How does anyone know she's here?"

"W-We did, Seijiya-sama," the dark haired man stuttered; Rairakku could practically hear him backing away out of fear. "They were dead when we left." They were all dead? But that would mean that Hideaki and the others... No, they couldn't be. But if the village had sent a team to retrieve her that meant someone had to survive. Hideaki had to have survived.

Seijiya finally opened the door to the room she was being held in, but she heard someone else enter instead. "Kimpatsu, I'll give her to you for a little while. I want her in once piece when I get back," the man muttered.

"Again?" Rairakku could not have been more frustrated at his choice of guard. She was hoisted up into a sitting position, and she avoided his gaze. "I don't know why he's keeping you around," the blond man growled, grabbing hold of a fistful of her russet hair in his hands. The man revealed the blade that Rairakku had become so familiar with from his pocket. She felt the cold steel cut a thin line into her shoulder. He pulled the blade across her throat, but only deep enough to break the skin.

Rairakku could tell how much he wanted to watch her life's blood spill from her neck, but he was forced to be on good behavior once more. He finally turned his attention to the fistful of hair between his fingers. Kimpatsu took the blade and sliced a lock off, watching it fall with a glare before he pulled on another one to cut. Then another, then another. All she could do was be thankful that was all he was cutting off.


	22. Bonus Chapter: Never Mine

__**A/N: **Hello, readers! This is just something I thought I'd post to give you guys some insight into Hideaki and his... relationship(?) with Rairakku. :( I'm going to miss writing for him...

* * *

><p><em>Bonus Chapter: Never Mine<em>

The air was far too still that night. Still and cold. The redhead found himself staring at the plain white ceiling then to his companion on the other side of the bed. He briefly wondered if he should seek out her warmth and pull her close, but he didn't want to wake her. She looked so peaceful for once. The twenty year old felt a sigh pass through his lips; he always found it hard to sleep in a bed that wasn't his, even when he was spent from such... rigorous activity.

It was odd that she had invited him over to her apartment for a change. Usually, this happened at his place, but after a moment of thought, Hideaki knew why. Kakashi had a key to her apartment; she was worried he'd pop in at any moment. But he was on a mission now, so the two of them were safe... If safe was the right word.

Hideaki rolled over to face his lover, staring hard at the exposed skin of her back. He understood that their arrangement was meant to be a secret, but he always felt that Rairakku tried a little too hard to conceal this from her friend. Or whatever Kakashi was to her. Hideaki wasn't sure. He had never worked up the courage to seriously ask her about it. His hands involuntarily moved to touch the scratches she had left on his shoulder blades. Maybe if they wanted to keep this a secret, they shouldn't mark each other up so badly.

Rairakku stirred briefly, her hands clutching her pillow as she nuzzled the soft fabric. A murmur fell from her lips, but he couldn't tell what she had said. In a spark of affection, he reached out to brush her beautiful russet hair away from her face. Suddenly, he didn't mind if he woke her. His fingertips glided across her bare waist, and his lips grazed her shoulder. The woman murmured again, and this time he caught it—

"_Kakashi._"

His emerald eyes snapped open as he jerked his hands away from her slender frame. What did she...? He kicked the sheets off and rolled out of bed. Now was a good time to leave, he thought as he gathered his clothes. She didn't want him there anyway. But still... He couldn't help but feel resentment for a certain jounin beginning to build in his heart.

When she ended it with him a few months later, he couldn't have been more relieved. And it wasn't until two years later when Rairakku finally started to admit her true feelings to herself that Hideaki finally realized...

_She was never really mine. She was always his. _


	23. Chapter 21: Slipping

_Chapter 21: Slipping_

_Snip._

Rairakku felt her shoulders relax when Kimpatsu sliced his blade through her russet hair for the third time. A thought briefly flickered through her mind. Kakashi wouldn't be able to run his hands through it like he used to. Then she almost laughed. Almost. Why would she be worried about something so trivial? If Seijiya gave the word, this man would kill her. Or worse. She needed to worry about surviving, so she could get back to him.

As if she should be worried about what he would think of her hair...

_Snip._

Why was she here anyway? What did Seijiya want with her? He really was her father, wasn't he? She knew it. She was absolutely sure of it. She _remembered _it. Not any of the specifics, but she knew that fact was true. And her mother, what had happened? A knotted chunk fell passed her eyes, and she felt her consciousness flicker.

...Why was she so worried about her hair, again?

_Snip._

He didn't used to be like this. Or did he? She couldn't remember. That... wasn't anything new, though...

No.. No, Otou-san used to be really kind to her. Or act kind, at least, but he wasn't kind to everyone. In fact, her father had done a lot of things to a lot of people. Now her? That made sense. Hadn't he done something to Kaa-san, too?

_Snip._

Why had he run off again? Oh, that's right. Someone was headed this way. They were coming for her. Her father wouldn't want to be caught with his tortured daughter locked up somewhere beneath the house. They probably wouldn't find her all the way down here. Who were they? Wait... Didn't they say Konoha ninja were looking for her?

... Why would they do that?

* * *

><p><em>"Don't cry, little one. You're going to have to be very quiet." <em>

_Mitsuko was curled up against the trunk of a tree. Her mother was knelt down in front of her, and for the first time in her life... "K-Kaa-san, y-you promised," she cried. Her mother couldn't just leave her here. Not like this. "You aren't su-supposed to do th-that!"_

_Cold. Everything was so cold here, but her beautiful mother's voice was just as warm and wonderful as it always was. Kaa-san never showed her fear or anger. "You'll be safe this way. It's the only way."_

_But this time Mitsuko knew that something was wrong, no matter how much her mother told her otherwise. They had fled her village in the dead of night, and now her mother was leaving her to fight men who had once been their friends, including Mitsuko's father. "But I don't want to forget!" Mitsuko found herself screaming. "I want to stay with you! Please!"_

_"Everything will be alright," she crooned to her daughter. But she was lying. It wasn't going to be okay. It was never going to be okay. "I promise. You won't feel a thing."_

_Mitsuko's chest ached with a pain she couldn't even understand at such a young age. "I'll come back for you. Trust me, my little one, it is better this way." She pressed her hands on either side of her daughter's face, caressing her dampened skin for the last time. _

_"I love you... So very, __**very**__ much..."_

But she never came back for her.

* * *

><p>She remembered. She remembered everything. <em>Mitsuko <em>remembered everything.

Her brain throbbed inside her skull, and when she opened her plum eyes, she saw nothing but black and grey blur. An excruciating shock surged through her body. More pain. When was this going to stop? What was that? Something was _biting_ her neck. Mitsuko squirmed against the wall she was leaning against. "Kimpatsu! Get over here! You better not be breaking orders," a voice rang out in frustration. A growl sounded in her ear, and she was shoved hard into the stone floor.

By the time the room had come back into focus, Kimpatsu was gone from the room. The nearest guard would be down the short hallway. Her mind started racing in all directions.

For the first time since she had gotten here, Mitsuko had a solid chance of escaping.

There was a serrated blade on the inside of her skirt belt. Now she had a proper opportunity to use it. Who had thought it was a good idea to bind her hands in front of her? After working the blade a little, the wire snapped and she was out in seconds.

She knew the layout of this underground area. She snuck in here as a child all the time. If she could make it past the men, or dispose of them, she could escape through the air latch that opened behind the house. Would she fit through that? The wire around her ankles finally started to unknot.

She'd have to try, at the very least.

Her legs were free, though flesh and blood stuck along the wire. Well, she didn't even want to see what her wrists looked like underneath her shredded, long fingerless-gloves considering how the wire had torn through the wrappings she kept around her calves. She held the wire out in a tight line in front of her with both hands.

There was one way she could deal with that guard...

* * *

><p>They made their way to Seijiya's estate at a pace that was painfully slow for Kakashi and the others. Including the Mizukage there were seven of them now, for she had brought one of her guards and a trusted medical kunoichi to accompany them.<p>

"There's a man that works with Seijiya, a tracker named Kimpatsu. If Seijiya sent anyone to take her, he sent him. And this man..." the Mizukage explained, her frown deepening into a fierce glare at the thought. She turned to Kakashi. "I can't promise you'll find her in one piece."

That made the trip seem even longer than before, especially once they discovered its location. It was far outside the village gates. The only thing that surrounded it was foggy forests. Far enough away to carry out operations without suspicion, Kakashi expected, and it was certainly large enough to conceal all sorts of secrets.

A servant met them at the door, ready to welcome them in, but the Mizukage pushed passed the young girl without a second glance. She acted as though she already knew how to navigate this large estate. There was movement at the end of a large sitting room, and she looked over her shoulder and muttered to the Konoha shinobi, "Let me handle all the talking." She acted as though this was a game they didn't know the rules to.

And there he was, Seijiya, his dark eyes penetrating through the group. Kakashi had never seen someone who had such an air of nobility in his voice who seemed so deadly at the same time. "Mizukage-sama. Well, this is a surprise." It didn't look that way. He looked as if he had been waiting for them, despite his casual appearance.

"Seijiya."

"I wish you had sent someone to tell me you were coming. The estate is in disarray," the man complained. The place was virtually spotless. "I can't be a suitable host in these conditions. Please, have a seat." The Mizukage didn't, but Seijiya had no trouble making himself comfortable.

"I think introductions are in order. What brings you here?" His eyes lingered on Kakashi more than anyone else, and the Copy Nin had a suspicious feeling that Seijiya already knew who he was. Gorou could have easily told him.

The Mizukage didn't waste time with that. Or rather, Kakashi suspected she didn't want to just give him their names. "It seems that some of our own captured a kunoichi from Konoha. These shinobi here suspect Hyouchuu Gorou."

The Yutaka straightened up in his chair at this accusation. "And what does that have to do with me, exactly?" Seijiya asked, his voice laced with what appeared to be genuine curiosity. "As you can see, my friend, Gorou, isn't here." A suspicious smirk flickered over his lips at that.

"I thought she looked rather familiar," the woman hinted, and she stepped forward to hand the picture of Rairakku to him before crossing her arms over her large breasts. "Would you care to explain?"

After a long, intense inspection of the photograph, he closed his eyes in a manner to conceal his frustration, but he didn't hide it in his tone. It was as if the betrayal of Rairakku's mother still haunted him. "I hope you aren't implying what I think you're implying, Mizukage-sama."

The Mizukage didn't miss a beat. "And if I was?"

Seijiya stood from his seat and matched the Mizukage's stance. Kakashi had never seen a ninja be so disrespectful to his Kage. "My daughter is _dead_." But his eyes betrayed him that time. Kakashi saw it. He was lying. He knew the truth. And here Kakashi was, unable to say anything, unable to call him out on it. "If she's alive, that's news to me."

_If_ she was alive.

She clearly didn't believe him, and neither were backing down. "Even if you didn't know anything about this, Gorou does. Where is he?"

"Well, my first guess would be at hisresidence, Mizukage-_sama_." He said "sama" with so much sarcasm it was shameful.

The Mizukage turned on a heel without another word, Kakashi and his team following close behind. She would have to let him go for now. Seijiya wouldn't have told her to check Gorou's residence if he was actually there; sending anyone there would be an utter waste of time. And all of Seijiya's reactions could be attributed to a still-grieving father.

They had _nothing_.

"He's lying. He usually is," she murmured to Kakashi as they exited the house. Her exasperation at the entire situation obvious, as was her true intention. She didn't care so much about finding their comrade as she did revealing this snake to the council. "But I have no way of bringing him in without solid proof. If you have a way to search for her discreetly, I would." The woman turned to the medical nin she had brought along. "Stay with them," she ordered the blonde girl, and the subordinate nodded curtly in understanding.

The silver haired jounin gave her a respectful bow before answering, "We understand. Thank you for your help, Mizukage-sama." And he meant it, but the powerful woman simply raised an eyebrow at him. A moment later, she and her bodyguard had disappeared through the tree line. It was up to them now.

"So what is our pl—?" Gai inquired, but was stopped short when Kakashi drew a blade across his thumb. He didn't have to explain as he pulled the summoning scroll from vest pocket. If Rairakku was here somewhere, his ninken would find her.


	24. Chapter 22: Rairakku?

_Chapter 22: Rairakku?_

"This is taking too long," Asuma commented underneath his breath as he lit another cigarette, and he was right. Kakashi peered back towards the direction of the estate. The place they were searching was large, but his hounds should have been back by now. How much time had passed? Thirty minutes? An hour? Then again, it was so hard to be patient at a time like this.

With each passing moment, hope for her survival dimmed. What if Seijiya had her killed the moment they had left? What if she had been killed as soon as she had been brought here? Kakashi tried his best to push these thoughts aside, though they were realistic ones. They did get him thinking; why did Seijiya want her here in the first place?

And then there was this medical nin that had been placed with them. Kakashi and the others would have to rely on her to heal Rairakku if she was seriously injured. He wasn't sure just how much he trusted this complete stranger, even if she was trusted by the Mizukage. She couldn't have been any older than Rairakku. "What did you say your name was again?" he asked the young woman.

"I didn't," the blonde muttered, awkwardly playing with the red sash at her waist. It seemed she was just as uncomfortable being among strangers as they were having her along. "It's Iyashi," she finally answered. It was a start...

There was a rustle near Kakashi's feet. Two muzzles pressed up through the dirt, and Pakkun and Akino wiggled their way up to the surface. Pakkun tried to shake some of mud from his fur and he noticed that Akino had something between his jaws, but Kakashi didn't waste any more time. "Did you find her?"

"No, but we found a series of rooms beneath the house," the small dog paused briefly to scratch behind his ear. The silver haired man felt his heart begin to sink. They hadn't found her. "'Hard to get around down there without being noticed. They're scrambling," the dog continued.

He acted as though there were a lot of men in there. Kakashi hadn't noticed that many people in the estate other than Seijiya and a few servants. They had all been hiding beneath the house? The jounin inquired, "What do you mean?"

"We found a room," Pakkun elaborated, his head gesturing towards the larger dog with him. "This was inside, along with a lot of blood and wire. She was definitely there." Akino stepped forward to place something into Kakashi's hand.

It was a lock of her hair, curled from the air in this country. Kakashi absentmindedly drew his thumb across the strands. She was _so close. _She was finally within reach. "Do you think they've moved her?"

Pakkun shook his head, his ears flopping back and forth as he did so. "No. We found a dead man. Another one looked a little roughed up. 'Had a big cut across his face. I think she's tried to escape, but where ever she is, she's badly wounded." Pakkun paused for a moment. "Bisuke and Guruko are on her trail now. We should meet up with them."

She was alive. She was here and alive and all they had to do was follow Pakkun to her. Hope finally coursed through his veins. "Let's go then."

* * *

><p>Mitsuko gripped onto the bark of the nearest tree as she tried to stead herself. It was getting harder and harder to remember her basic medical training with a blade sticking out of her side. What was she supposed to do? Did she leave the blade in? Or take it out? She hadn't expected Kimpatsu to return so quickly. Her hand pressed around the blade, trying to ease the bleeding. But despite the pain, despite everything, there was something oddly satisfying about getting away with his knife.<p>

She had to stop the bleeding, but she had to keep walking. Her chakra had been so depleted for so long. The strain combined with the blood loss was almost too much. But she kept going. Which way was the way back to the village?

But she didn't have the strength to on. One of her legs finally gave out beneath her, and she had to tear the blade for her side so she wouldn't land on it. Blood spurted the wound and nearly _poured_. Everything was starting to go dark.

The truth. She could tell them all the truth. The Mizukage was there, somewhere. She had to warn him. He would believe her, wouldn't he? He didn't take too kindly to the disloyal. Her father had been planning for so long, and she knew everything. She remembered _everything_.

A sort of sniffling noise near her ear made her twitch, and she tried to shake away the hot breath by her ear. A tongue flicked to lick the blood off of her face. Some sort of dog? Great. She was going to be eaten alive by wild animals. Had the scent of blood attracted them?

"Oi! Oi! Wake up!" it yipped in her ear. "You can't die on us!" Its cold, wet nose nudged her cheek, and she felt her head roll over to the side. The voice was almost familiar. Why was an animal talking to her? A summoning? Whose?

There was pressure on her side. One of them was lying on her seeping wound. The other stayed by her head, licking at the cuts and scrapes on her face with a pitiful whimper.

The last thing she heard was its deafeningly mournful howl.

* * *

><p>And the Konoha shinobi heard it cut through the evening air. The companions all shot looks at one another. "That's Bisuke!" Pakkun exclaimed over his shoulder. "This way!" His course shifted slightly and his speed quickened, and everyone followed suit.<p>

Kakashi could feel his heart in his throat. The sound of his pulse roared in his ears. They had found her. Now all they needed to do was catch up. If Pakkun was right about her injuries, they didn't have much time.

The scent of blood was suddenly thick in the wet air. So thick it nearly choked him, but that could have been because he knew it was _hers_. "There she is!" Kurenai called from his left. They landed on the forest floor.

Now he knew what the Mizukage meant by not finding her in one piece. Cuts and bruised littered her body, some more severe than others. Her wrists and ankles were shredded. Her face was swollen and her lips cracked. Her clothes were torn, and what was left of her hair was a short, tangled mess. Only a few locks in the back had escaped and remained their long length. He was much more concerned at the wound Guruko was attempting to tend to.

Guruko's fur was stained and dripping crimson from lying on the wound, but both of the dogs lifted their heads at the sight of them. Pakkun snapped something at them— Kakashi wasn't listening— and the hound stood down. The three knew they were no longer needed, and vanished in a puff of smoke.

Iyashi didn't need any instruction. She dropped to the lilac's side and pressed down on the wound just beneath her ribs. It looked as if Kakashi's hound had managed to stop the bleeding before. Her fingertips pulsing with chakra as she performed her medical ninjutsu. "It isn't as bad as it looks," the medic explained. Rairakku's torso jerked and twitched at the uncomfortable feeling, but it was working.

Her eyes had flickered open. First to Kakashi, then to the others. A sense of relief began to overwhelm him, but he stayed composed. It wasn't a good idea to let his feelings show in front of a kunoichi from another village. It could come back to haunt him later. Nevertheless, he could finally let out the breath he had been holding for the past several days. She was alive.

"Welcome back!" the ever-positive Gai greeted enthusiastically, kneeling by the woman's head with a grin. "You put us through quite a scare." Her brow furrowed together, and her eyes drifted over each of them again before landing on Iyashi at her side. Her eyes widened as she jerked...

...And struck the blonde girl square in the jaw with surprising strength. It was hard enough to send her tumbling backwards. "_Rairakku!_" Kakashi grabbed one arm while Gai reached for the other. "Rairakku, stop!" the silver haired man shouted, as Kurenai and Asuma went for her now kicking legs.

Her plum eyes blinked up at him in an odd manner, and her cracked lips mouthed back the name as if it was foreign. "Rai...rakku?" Despite this, she managed calm down until they were able to release their hold on her. Shock struck through him at the realization.

She didn't recognize him.


	25. Chapter 23: Do You Remember?

_Chapter 23: Do You Remember?_

In the end, Iyashi had to inject the delirious, half conscious woman with a light sedative. There was a safe house, the medic explained, with all the medical equipment she would need. Kakashi didn't question why they couldn't just bring her to Kirigakure; the Mizukage wanted to keep this quiet. Kakashi didn't mind either. The safe house turned out to be closer than the village was.

The Copy Nin was the one to carry her there. Even though Rairakku was depleted and drugged, she managed to jolt and spasm in her sleep, murmuring nonsense and gibberish that he couldn't make out, before she went very still. So still, in fact, that he had to check to make sure she hadn't died in his arms.

The safe house was completely empty when they arrived, not to mention dark and cold. All the windows had been nailed shut with boards, and the entire place looked run down. It was very deceiving. The inside was practically spotless, and clearly well kempt. And there were medical supplies, as if they suspected something like this to happen, which he knew couldn't be true. The situation was far too unique for that.

Iyashi seemed to know her way around. The blonde had him lay her down in a small room packed with four beds. "Can you give me a hand cleaning her up?" she asked Kurenai. The kunoichi agreed without a moment of hesitation while the men tactfully excused themselves from the room, closing the door behind them.

Suddenly, he felt Gai put a hand on his shoulder. He turned towards him, silver brow quirked. "Kakashi are you—?" Gai began, concern for his rival laced in his voice, but Kakashi wouldn't hear it.

"Yes," He answered quickly as he shrugged the hand off. This wasn't the time or place to discuss how he was "holding up".

The man's thick eyebrows furrowed together. "But aren't the two of you—?" he began.

"Not here, Gai." He could feel Asuma's shocked gaze on him. At least now he knew he had done a good job at concealing his feelings during this whole ordeal. They weren't given time to dwell on the matter, though. A scream sounded from the other room. They barged in only to find Rairakku struggling against the two women. Kurenai was trying her best to calm her down, but Iyashi just reached for another syringe with a look of annoyance on her face.

Was she still in there? What had they done to her to make her forget who she was? He shook away those thoughts. It didn't matter if she didn't remember him.

She was _alive_. She was alive and that was enough.

* * *

><p>Five days had passed, and she had woken up briefly four times since she arrived there. Twice she woke during Kurenai's watch, screaming again. Thankfully, Kurenai was rather skilled at calming her down. She woke during Gai's watch, but she quietly rolled over and went back to sleep. And once with Asuma, in which she announced she was going to be sick and promptly spilled her guts over the side of the bed.<p>

It was Kakashi's turn again, and she would stir, sometimes thrash and cry out. He would give her hand a gentle squeeze, and soon enough she would settle, murmuring something. The only thing he was able to make out through her choked sobs was "Kaa-san". She was calling for her mother.

Had they done something to make her remember her past? He pushed that thought away from his mind, because it raised too many questions about her captivity. He didn't want to picture what they had done to her.

Their Kiri medic had found all that was needed for her recovery, save for a fresh set of clothes (though she insisted she knew there were some around here _somewhere_). Rairakku was covered to her underarms with sheets, of course, but they did nothing to hide the most of her wounds. The bandages covered her shredded wrists and ankles, but there were so many cuts, bruises, and even fading _bite_ marks along on her neck—

_Stop it. Stop torturing yourself. _

They wouldn't get away with it. No. He would find the men that did this to her. They had gone through so much to get her; they weren't going to just let her go. This wouldn't be over until they were dead.

He noticed that she had finally opened her eyes once more and was gazing intently at his fingers laced with hers, confusion spread across her bruised face. Of course, she might not remember him. He had to be careful with the way he comforted her. "How do you feel?" he asked once he let his hand slip from hers.

"Cold... my head hurts," she answered groggily, cringing. The woman started squirming beneath her sheets. "Everything hurts." All her muscles ached, her healing wounds were itching, and her head throbbed with every breath she took.

Kakashi warned as she started to squirm, "Don't try to get up." There was a dazed look in her eyes. It would be a while before she would be fully alert, and he doubted she'd be awake for long.

Her plum eyes began to dart around the room. "Where... Where am I?" she groaned, squinting as she tried to focus her vision. She didn't seem any different, other than the obvious. Maybe it had been the blood loss talking when they found her.

"It's alright. You're safe now," he crooned, running his thumb across the back of her hand.

But the more alert she became, the more anxious she became. Her eyes widened as she tried to jerk away from him. Of course, she didn't know if he was friend or foe. Kakashi readied himself in case really did try to get up, though he suspected she knew she couldn't escape like this. "You don't work... work for Otou-san do you?" she asked cautiously.

The look in her eyes was familiar. He had seen it so many times when they were young and she was so desperately _afraid_ of him. It was unnerving; how many years had passed since she looked at him that way? She really didn't remember him at all, did she? "No, no I don't," he whispered back.

But his answer didn't calm her in the slightest; she just became perplexed as well as frightened. "Why... Th-Then why did you... save me?" The woman finally choked out the question he had been dreading, "Who are you?"

There was a long silence between them. Rairakku continued to look at him expectantly, waiting for his answer. "You should rest," the Copy Nin urged.

Suddenly, she was frantic, as if she had suddenly remembered something important. "I need to talk to Mizukage-sama," she croaked desperately, reaching up to grab his sleeve. "I-It's urgent... please, I—"

Kakashi placed a warm hand on her shoulder; her whole body jerked away from his touch. "You will. Rest for now." She watched him closely through half lidded eyes as he gathered any sheets and blankets from the other beds and placed them over her. She had said she was cold, after all.

The new warmth spread through her quickly, and soon she was nodding off again. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>Two more days passed, and the Mizukage had sent shinobi to bring more food and supplies— and clothes for Rairakku— that Iyashi had requested. They tried to question Rairakku about Seijiya, despite the fact she was in no shape for such interrogation, and the medic told them so. It wouldn't have mattered if she was. She outright refused to tell any of them what had happened. "I won't talk to anyone but Mizukage-sama."<p>

During her watch, Kurenai noticed the younger woman tugging at the longest curl of her chopped up hair in frustration and offered to even it out for her. She seemed appreciative at the gesture. She was much more relaxed around the crimson eyed woman than the rest of them, and soon Kurenai sat behind her on the bed and started on her new hairstyle with a pair of surgical scissors.

Kakashi kept watch from the corner, not because he was needed, but because he was restless. Rairakku eyes kept flickering towards him with the same anxiousness from their childhood. He would have left the room, given the poor woman a chance to relax, but Iyashi came in with a clipboard to "evaluate the girl's physical and mental progress."

"How do you feel?" the blonde asked with a grin, but the smile was forced. Kakashi knew the medic wouldn't even be here unless she had been ordered to; she couldn't care less if Rairakku lived or died. Kurenai even raised an eyebrow at her.

Rairakku may have been drained and barely awake, but she could tell that Iyashi was faking. "...Better, I suppose," she grumbled out, avoiding the blonde's gaze.

The medic pulled out a flashlight from her pocket and started shining it in those plum orbs; it was an action that earned a startled squeak from Rairakku. "Can you tell me your name?"

She snapped curtly, as if the woman should know already, "Yutaka Mitsuko." Kakashi's breath caught in his throat. His lilac was _gone_. She was so close he could touch her, but she might as well have been a million miles away. But she was _alive_, hadn't that been enough? But could she come back with them now? Would she even want come back with them? Kirigakure was the only home she remembered now.

In a way, they had been too late to save her after all.

Iyashi ignored Rai— Mitsuko's attitude. "When's your birthday?" the Kiri kunoichi continued, moving to grab her wrist for a pulse before realizing with the bandages in the way her neck was the better option.

"April twenty-third," she answered quickly once more, trying to lean away from Iyashi's offending hand. It was strange, Kakashi thought. She had told him once that she wondered when her birthday was. Now it came to her so easily.

"How old are you?"

"I'm," the russet haired woman started again in frustration, but stopped. "I... I'm..." She flinched and gripped her forehead, as if she was suddenly struck with a headache. It wasn't much of a surprise. After all the years of memories she lost, how could she possibly remember her age?

"It's alright," Iyashi interrupted, jotting something down on her clipboard. "I think that's enough for now. If you think you're up to it, we can get you something to eat. You think you could hold it down?"

"I think so... Maybe," Mitsuko mumbled timidly. She probably hadn't eaten anything since she had been captured.

Kurenai used her fingers to comb some of the curls from the injured woman's hair, admiring her good work. "There. I think it looks great," she said, forcing a smile as she brushed the loose hair onto the floor. All that was left was a wavy crop. Rairakku would have complained that it made her look like boy, but Kurenai had done a good job. If it had been just an inch or two longer, it would have looked like the hairstyle she had sported as a little girl.

"I'll see if I can find you a mirror, okay?" Kurenai announced as she rose from the bed. The other woman nodded and mumbled her thanks beneath her breath, flopping back on the mattress as if sitting up straight for so long had been too much.

She didn't have much time to rest, though. Iyashi appeared again with a bowl of something that looked like cold soup. But after looking at her state, the medic handed the bowl to Kakashi before exiting the room without a word. She _really_ didn't want to be here.

Rairak— Mitsuko didn't like him looking at her; he could only imagine her reaction to him trying to feed her. Nevertheless, he gave it a shot. "Say 'Ah'," he instructed, holding out a full spoon for her to taste. And she turned bright red.

Hm... Well, this was awfully familiar.

* * *

><p>Another three days passed. Finally, at Raira— Mitsuko's insistence, Iyashi managed to convince one of the messengers that the Mizukage needed to come herself. She wasn't revealing anything to anyone else. After that, she had fallen silent, despite the others attempts to engage her in friendly conversation. Perhaps they still hadn't earned her trust, but they couldn't complain. She was recovering well.<p>

Mitsuko's arms and legs needed a fresh pair of bandages, but Iyashi had fallen asleep in another room. Kakashi would have asked Kurenai, but she had already taken most of his watches due to the injured woman's discomfort with him. She was not very happy about it. She seemed to settle down once he told her he was just trying to help, however. By the time he had finished wrapping her ankles and shins, she had stopped flinching every time his fingers brushed her skin.

He started on her forearms, which she managed to sit up for all on her own, but she still hadn't spoken to him. Suddenly, she uttered under her breath, "You are... kind to me." But she didn't mean it as a compliment. It seemed more like an observation. She acted as though wasn't used to men being kind to her. After all she had gone through recently, he couldn't really blame her.

His visible eye briefly glimpsed at her expression. She seemed perplexed again, as if she couldn't figure out a logical reason for his kindness towards her. At least, she wasn't staring at him fearfully anymore. "Why do you say that?" he questioned, undoing the ruined wrappings around her left wrist.

She didn't look at him; her plum eyes were fixed on his hands carefully wrapping her wounds. "You're very..." The young woman paused while she tried to search for the proper word. She managed to settle on, "Gentle."

That was one way to put it, he supposed. It wasn't as though he could tell her how deeply he cared for her now. He didn't see the point in trying to force her to remember him. Her mental and emotional wellbeing was too fragile right now for something like that. "Well, I wouldn't want to cause you any more pain," he admitted as he unrolled the fresh bandage.

Her brow furrowed again, and she fell silent, clearly deep in thought. "Have _I _caused _you_ pain?" she whispered after he finished her left arm. His head snapped up and his obsidian eye struck hers with a look of surprise. "It's just... you look so sad," the young woman elaborated.

Had he really let his emotion show that much? Kakashi found himself shaking his head. "Trust me. You've done nothing wrong," he reassured, and she acted as though she believed him. They sat in silence once more until he had finished bandaging her, the air thick with unspoken words.

She fell back onto her bed, albeit more gently this time, still lost in her own thoughts. Kakashi went to move his chair back to give her some space; there was usually less tension when they were distanced from each other, but her words stopped him. "I'm sorry," she breathed once he had broken eye contact with her.

Now it was Kakashi's turn to be perplexed. Why was she apologizing to him? "What for?" he asked.

The russet haired woman turned her head away from him; it was if she was ashamed of herself. "For being so much trouble," she muttered. "You and the others shouldn't have to be taking care of me like this."

For the first time since all of this began, Kakashi felt a smile threatening to twitch at his lips, because even if she couldn't remember him she was still _Rairakku_. She hadn't change in the least. She was still easily frustrated and embarrassed, still worried about proving herself and being a burden, and still more concerned about others than she was about herself.

Before he realized it, Kakashi had reached out and brushed his hand through her russet hair, pulling the loose strands away from her eyes. He expected her to pull away, but instead her eyes fluttered closed as she leaned into his touch. Kakashi swore he saw a smile...

And she jolted as if someone had jarred her from sleep. He quickly went to pull his hand away, worried that his touch had offended her, but she caught and held it against her skin while she blink up at him with wide eyes. "Are you alright?" he inquired, frowning in confusion.

Tears formed in the corners of her plum orbs and spilled onto the pillow behind her. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she sputtered abruptly, trying to reach for him. He couldn't think of any way to calm her sudden panic. "I-I _forgot _you. I'm so sorry—"

His heart leapt into his throat when she cried, "_Kakashi!_"


	26. Chapter 24: Reveal

_Chapter 24: Reveal _

"_Kakashi!_"

Her hands fisted around the collar to his vest as she desperately tried to pull herself to him. "...Rairakku?" he tested, his voice barely above a whisper. She nodded through her haze of tears, delirious. That was all it took for him to gather her up in his arms. Rairakku finally released her grip, and he was glad. She shouldn't strain herself.

"I- I'm- I'm so sorry," she began hiccupping once more. Kakashi was still frozen when she started pressing trembling kisses against his jawline. Mere minutes ago she recoiled from his touch, but now she was desperate for it. "I shouldn't have... But I couldn't... Please _forgive me_—"

"It's alright," he murmured as he lowered her form back onto the bed, despite her protests. Nothing seemed to still her. "Try to calm down. You've been through a lot."

It was then that she finally seemed aware of her injured state and grabbed her side. The wound there was _burning_. Her vision blurred from the pain. How had she gotten like this? It took her a few moments to piece everything together. Kimpatsu and his knife... Her father. "It... It feels like I've woken up from a dream," the woman groaned, struggling to keep her eyes open. "It wasn't a dream was it?"

Kakashi shook his head. "No, it wasn't. But you're safe now. Try and rest."

Safe? Rest? How? But she wasn't locked away anymore. She was with Kakashi. "Don't leave, okay?" Rairakku pleaded as she reached out and grasped his hand. "Stay."

"I will."

* * *

><p>They hadn't spoken since she had woken back up. There was too much on her mind, and she needed time to make sense of it. Alone. It was hard to focus her thoughts, though. She wasn't able to stay awake for very long in her condition, and when she tried to stand up on her own she crumpled to the floor. When had she become so <em>weak?<em>

Kakashi wasn't letting her off that easily; he was standing in the corner waiting for her to speak up. In fact, he hadn't let her out of his sight. She just got over having had amnesia for the past week and a half, after all, and it wasn't going to get any easier. It didn't help that the tension in the room was so thick she could hardly breathe.

Any moment the Mizukage would be here to interrogate Rairakku. At least, it was going to be a willing interrogation. Rairakku suspected the Mizukage would be kinder to her under the circumstances... Hopefully.

She was finally about to break the silence when Iyashi, the medic that Rairakku just couldn't seem to trust, appeared in the doorway with the Kiri leader herself. She wasn't what Rairakku was expecting. Rairakku had been expecting someone older, and she certainly wasn't expecting her to be so beautiful.

"Kakashi," Rairakku whispered, staring hard into a lap. "Could you excuse us, please?" The Copy Nin didn't seem to like the idea, but he didn't protest. In turn, the Mizukage left her guard at the door with Iyashi and closed it behind her.

"Well, you insisted that I come," the woman began, crossing her arms over her large chest. "So what is it?"

Rairakku should have realized how her demand would aggravate her. Then again, Rairakku hadn't really been herself at the time... Or had she? The whole Mitsuko part was confusing. "I'm sorry, Mizakage-sama," she apologized. "But I have information meant only for you. I couldn't trust the men you sent."

She saw the woman's jaw tense in frustration, but other than that Rairakku couldn't tell what she was thinking. The woman was terribly hard to read. Would she believe her? "And why not?"

"Because Seijiya knew you were coming to his estate. They mentioned a contact and..." Rairakku turned her head and looked into hard jade eyes. "Mizakage-sama, someone close to you is a traitor."

Her brow furrowed together. "You're certain?" It was a serious accusation, after all. Someone like her picked her allies carefully. To suggest that one of them had betrayed her...

"Yes," she whispered, one hand fisting in her horribly short hair. Right after they had mentioned the contact, Kimpatsu had come in a chopped all her hair off. A small, vain part of her was fairly jealous of the Mizukage's impossibly long hair.

But that wasn't important right now. Seijiya was the reason the Mizukage was there. Rairakku had been planning out what she going to say for the past several hours. It was time for her to get it all out. "My— I mean... Seijiya. He has been plotting for some time. He wanted... wants, I guess, to take over this place. Kirigakure. And he has a lot of people behind him, but I guess you knew that. I don't know what he's planning now, especially now that he's on the run. But... I have a brief understanding of what he _had_ been planning.

"Seijiya had a plan to... alter the views of the council. That's how Ka— Manami got involved. He... manipulated her for a long time to try and get what he wanted." Even so much as married her and had a child, although Rairakku wasn't sure which one of those things had come first. "She was young and easily influenced. I think she might have sympathized with his ideals. If he could get her to use her kekkei genkai against the council—"

"The Fukikesu?"

"Y-Yes. That. He thought if he could get her to bend their thoughts and memories he could finally get his way, but she realized his plan and refused to help him. She wouldn't turn her back on her own people, so she grabbed me and ran." Rairakku paused, gazing hard into her lap. She hadn't expected this would be so hard for her to tell, but she refused to break down in front of the Mizukage. "Then we couldn't run anymore, so she used her ability to repress all of my memories. She wanted me to have a fresh start without the burden of the past."

She paused again and let out a breath. Too much was building up in her chest. "When I ran into Gorou again later, he definitely had his suspicions about who I was." Rairakku frowned in contemplation. "I guess he told Seijiya, but I don't know why they went through so much trouble to bring me here."

"Clearly, a mistake on his part," the Mizukage scoffed as though she was completely unimpressed with Seijiya's carelessness. "Maybe he sees you as a loose end, or most likely, he sees you as _property_."

Rairakku couldn't help but agree, but what had her father hoped to accomplish by bringing her here? Nothing made sense. She didn't have time to dwell on the matter; the other woman pulled something out of her pocket and held it out for her to take. "We found this in your old residence," she explained. "I think you should have it."

Rairakku took it cautiously. She didn't bother watching the Mizukage take her leave. It was a photograph of... her? No. Her mother. It was her mother holding an infant. Her mother looked so happy and _young_ in this picture. About the same age she was when she...

Kakashi was waiting just outside the door when the Mizukage emerged. "We've managed to track Seijiya. He won't get very far," she stated to him as she closed the door behind her. "I've sent word to your Hokage explaining everything. Would you and your team be interested in joining the hunt? Without this—" The woman paused momentarily. "—incident we wouldn't have discovered his treachery until it was too late."

"You can count on us," he confirmed. The woman gave him a nod and continued down the hall. Right now it was time to check on his lilac. He had heard everything. He had never expected the situation to be so complicated. The least he could do was comfort her if she needed it.

Rairakku didn't look up at him when he entered; she was too focused on the object in her lap. Her fingers toyed with the picture's edges, and she looked on the verge of tears. "I guess you listened in on all of that?" she grumbled, a bite evident in her tone.

The Copy Nin managed a shrug, but he hadn't expected her to look so cross with him. "I was worried," he explained as he sat in the chair near her bedside. "Can you blame me?"

Her scowl deepened as she glanced at him from the corner of her eye. She did her best to straighten her posture. "I think I handled myself well," she countered, her gaze hard on the photograph.

Ah, he wounded her pride by eavesdropping. She was feeling so weak right now, and his doting was doing nothing to help that. He knew how much she hated feeling like a burden. "You did. I knew you would," Kakashi continued. He brushed his hand over hers, and he watched as her expression softened. "But I wanted to be there for you anyway."

The lilac bit at her lip awkwardly, glancing at him once more. "Thanks." He was still waiting for her to open up. His concerned gaze never left her. In fact, it was making her squirm. And she hated to admit it, but with her current battered appearance, not to mention her cropped hair, she felt extremely self-conscious under his watch.

"What I told the Mizukage isn't what's bothering me," she snapped when his grip on her hand tightened. She might as well get it all out now. What was the point of bottling everything up? Didn't she know by now that hiding only made things worse? "I guess... Since I'm older now, I understand things about him that I couldn't grasp when Kaa-san took me and ran."

There was a long pause between them. It took her a moment to begin, "I didn't understand how he could betray us... how he could suddenly send people to kill Kaa-san... any of it, but now I do. He _used_ her, Kakashi. He never..." A shaky sigh passed her lips. Her head fell back against the wall with a smack. "He _pretended_ to love us... And knowing that... It _hurts._"

"Fourteen years," the russet haired woman choked. "Fourteen years and I haven't had a chance to mourn for her." Had it really been so long? Her entire past and present felt so intertwined now that she had remembered. It felt like she had seen her mother just yesterday. Now she was gone.

Kakashi dragged his thumb across the back of her hand. "I don't think she wanted you to," he offered honestly.

"But I think I need to." But she didn't feel like crying when she looked at the photo now. No, now she felt like smiling. Her father may have never loved her, but her mother gave up everything to make sure she had a good life. Rairakku would honor her sacrifice. "She was beautiful, wasn't she?"

"Hm," Kakashi hummed in agreement, leaning closer to get a better look. He tugged on a lock of hair from Rairakku's bangs and murmured, "Now I know where you got your _ensnaring_ good looks."

* * *

><p>Rairakku couldn't remember the last time she was so angry. They were going after him tomorrow <em>without<em> her? Why? She needed to be there. She needed to confront her father. "I want to go with you," she repeated for the third time that evening.

Kakashi's answer remained the same, "You aren't strong enough yet."

Her face became red with fury. "This isn't your fight, Kakashi!" the woman barked. "You shouldn't be involved!"

Kakashi shot her a look and crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn't expected her to be so childish about this. "It became my fight when you were captured," he replied, his voice steady. His attempts to keep her calm were not working, however.

She growled in retaliation, throwing the sheets off of her bandaged form. "Well, you can't expect me to just sit here and do nothing!" She swung her legs over the side of the bed even though her nerves screamed at her to get back into bed. All the effort was for nothing, though. Her legs crumpled from beneath her before she could take a second step, and Kakashi had to move quickly to catch her... Suddenly, she wasn't nearly as angry with his arms around her waist.

He lowered her back onto the mattress. "Rairakku, they almost killed you. You can barely walk," he reminded, running a hand through his silver hair in the slightest hint of frustration. He met her angry glower with concern and cupped her reddened cheek with his hand. "You need to trust me. I won't let them get away after all they've done, but if anything happens to you all of this will have been for nothing. Let us handle it."

All of this? All of what? What had been sacrificed in order to rescue her? Everything was still so jumbled. But something stood out... Something she had almost forgotten about during the haze of her recovery.

"You haven't told me yet," she uttered. Her eyes fixed on his; she would not back down. "When they had me tied up... When I was just starting to remember, Gorou said they had killed them, my team. But how else could you have found me if they had?"

Kakashi sighed; he knew this would come up eventually. There was no point in keeping it from her or lying to her. Hideaki had been one of her closest friends as well as her past lover. She needed to know the truth. "When you were captured, Hideaki used his Nottori to track where they were taking you. But his wounds were too severe." He watched as her expression crumbled and the hope drained from her face. "He held on just long enough to tell us how to find you."

She pulled away from him. She needed the distance in order to process the news. There was no way he could be gone. He had used his kekkei genkai to save her? Rairakku turned over on her side away from Kakashi. Hideaki had wasted all of his energy trying to save her. Would he have lived if he hadn't? Was this her fault? They were gone now. Otonashi. Now Hideaki. And it was all her fault.

"Rairakku," he started, choosing his words carefully. He reached over the space she had created between them, gently placing his hand between her shoulder blades. He knew the death of her former lover would never leave her. The only thing he could do was feebly attempt to comfort her and convince her that this wasn't her fault. Kakashi of all people knew she would blame herself. "I know how much he meant to you."

"No, you don't," she retorted quickly in a weak voice, curling up tighter on her side. "No, you don't." Silent tears were streaming down her cheeks, because her body was far too tired for hysterical sobs. She heard Kakashi rise from his chair and move to the edge of the bed, the mattress shifting from his weight.

A realization dawned on Kakashi. While she and Hideaki had always been close, he had been under the impression that their intimate relationship had been purely physical. This was the first time it occurred to him that Rairakku may have been in love with her teammate, even if only for a little while. "Then tell me," the Copy Nin murmured, taking one of her cold hands in his. "Talk to me, please."

Rairakku shook her head and a sob finally shot through her body. Pain from her injures shot through her as well. Suddenly, the memories she had purposely repressed over the past two and a half years surfaced all at once. Kakashi did his best to keep her from going into a fit, crooning into her ear and pulling her close. He ran a hand through her now short hair, and in that moment she told him everything.

"I-It was just before it ended— the reason I told him we had to end it. A-And why I haven't been with anyone since." Her voice was soft and still trembling; Kakashi had to really lean in to hear her. They were both lying on the bed now. She rested her head against his chest and took in a deep breath before continuing. "...I got pregnant—" She felt Kakashi's entire body go ridged when the words fell from her lips. "—and I was going to tell him... But before I could I lost..."

Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks again. "I-I never told him what we almost had. I just t-told him it had to end. A-And now he'll never know."

When she had finished, Kakashi was at a loss. Rairakku had _miscarried_ her and Hideaki's child? For once, he had no idea what to do or how he was supposed to comfort her. There wasn't anything he could say to make this better, but maybe he didn't need to say anything. Maybe he just needed to hold her a little tighter to let her know that he was there, and that he wasn't leaving her because of this. No doubt that's why she had never told him, from fear that she'd lose him. So that's exactly what he did. He held her.

But a single question plagued his mind. How could he not see the utter _pain_ she had been going through during that time? It explained so much, though. It explained her fear of intimacy and why for over two years she hadn't been in a relationship. It explained why she got so protective and emotional around children. It explained why he found her drunk so many times during that year.

"You know, he... He said before we left," she began again. Her tone was laced with exhaustion, and she unconsciously nestled her head into Kakashi's vest. "He said th-that I should just tell you how I feel about you. He said it was cruel to make you wait... So I was going to tell him when we got home."

"Will you stay with me for a little while longer?" she whispered, but her unspoken words rang through.

"Of course," he murmured. Eventually, her crying came to a stop, and she lied there in his arms exhausted and weak. It wasn't long before her exhaustion overtook her and she slipped into sleep.

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><p><strong>AN PLEASE READ: Hello! I know it's been a long time, but I've finally updated! First, I would like to formally apologize for taking so long. I've been going through a lot of medical problems right now, but hopefully I'll be back to 100% soon. **

**Second, I would like to apologize for not responding to any messages sent my way since I last updated. I will be answering them from now on.**

**Thirdly, I was reading a fanfic by cbarreto and I noticed that she made a tumblr account to inform her readers on her updates. I think it's a fantastic idea and I'm really thinking about giving it a shot. I've made the account (heathers-and-feathers), but I haven't posted anything as of yet. I'd like to hear from you all first. Is it a good idea? Would you follow me to be informed on updates on this story? Would you be interested in when I'm updating any other of my stories? Please PM me or mention something about it if you review!**


	27. Bonus Chapter: Sleeping Together

_Bonus Chapter: Sleeping Together_

Rairakku sighed and pressed her cheek into the back of his neck, her hands clutching his loose shirt. Otonashi was _not _comfortable with this. He was not comfortable at all. There was no way he was going to fall asleep tonight. Why did his teammates have no sense of personal space? No one in his family had ever so much shaken his hand, let alone tried to _snuggle_. What was with all the touching? They were so _close_—

Why on earth were they so close to him right now?

If only it hadn't been so cold tonight... Then the three fourteen-year-olds wouldn't be crammed together like this. They stopped in a small town on their way back and decided an inn would be better than camping out in the woods in the cold, but the three of them were pretty short on cash. Suzu-sensei claimed she couldn't help them with the room fee, yet she managed to get herself an incredibly spacious room.

Damn cheapskate.

So the three of them managed to pile all of their money together to pay the fee for a small room. It wasn't much, but it was... inside at least. Despite the fact they all still had sleeping bags, Rairakku insisted that they could share the bed; it wouldn't be awkward. Though, Otonashi and Hideaki were positive that Rairakku didn't understand the implications behind her declaration to the desk clerk, "The three of us are going to sleep together."

The girl had never been very good with words.

She also had never been very good at reading Otonashi's ever rising levels of anxiety when it came to physical contact. She pulled him onto the double bed with her and Hideaki— who he noticed was all too eager to jump into bed with her— and sandwiched herself between the two boys. ("You'll freeze to death on the floor!") Now all he could think about was her petite form pressed against his back. Otonashi would have moved, but she had fallen asleep against him so quickly and Hideaki had fallen asleep with an arm draped around her waist...

The Uchiha would never be able escape without waking them up.

So he did what he did best: he stayed silent. Now that he thought about it, though, being left alone with only his thought with his teammates so close had become... too quiet without the two of them chattering back and forth. He half expected Rairakku to start poking his sides until he gave in and said what he was thinking. ("Oto-kuuuun~") Or Hideaki to punch his arm or slap him on the back. ("Stop being so quiet, man!") But then again, they were his teammates. All they wanted was for him to open up a little. The bed-sharing thing was a way to try and include him... A _weird_ way, but still...

The russet haired girl finally released her grip on his shirt and rolled over in her sleep. _Freedom_. There was nothing between him and the floor. Although... when he stuck his leg out from under the covers it _was_ cold. He might get sick if he left... Rairakku might be upset if she woke up and found him on the floor. Hideaki would get mad at him if he made Rairakku upset.

A sigh fell from his lips as he turned to face his teammates. Next thing he knew, his arm was also draped around the lilac, and his face was buried in her hair. Hideaki shifted, somehow managing to squeeze all of them tighter together and tangle him all in his long hair. It put him nose to nose with the red head, but he didn't mind so much.

_This... isn't _so_ bad._

Maybe the touching thing wasn't as terrible as he thought.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: IMPORTANT NOTE!**

**My tumblr page is officially open! Please, follow me, drop me a note, or ask me questions! (Please ask questions!) You readers are very important to me, and I really want to keep all of you updated on my stories. (I seriously am up at 3AM just because I didn't want to wait until the morning to get this to you guys.) I'd love to hear from you all! The page is under this username (heathers-and-feathers), so I hope you all follow me! I also want your opinions on anything else you think I should post up there! This is kind of an experiment for me, so I hope it works out!**

**2nd note: I am almost weirdly proud of the way this bonus chapter came out. I love Otonashi as a character VERY much, and I realized that my readers didn't know very much about him (which made me very sad. So I got this idea a few weeks ago, and I finally wrote it up! I hope you enjoyed it!**


	28. Chapter 25: I Love You

_Chapter 25: I Love You_

Rairakku couldn't remember the last time she had fallen into a peaceful, dreamless sleep. Too many nights she had tossed and turned lost in forgotten memories and nightmares. Too many nights she had spent alone and cold thinking about what could have been... Far too many regrets to count and too many maybes... Far too many questions and without any answers.

But now she felt such incredible warmth. It caressed her scarred and bandaged skin, smoothed out her horribly short hair, and pressed the gentlest of kisses to her temple. She clung to it desperately when she felt it starting to slip away. There was a rumble— something that sounded like low laughter— before she was rolled over onto her side.

Rairakku spent a long time on the edge of sleep after that. Time blurred, and the whispers coming through the crack in the doorway seemed more like dreams than anything else. "_So everyone is ready?_"

Who was that whispering? "_Yes. We meet up with the Mizukage and her men in an hour._"

"_Someone should be here for Rairakku_." The woman groaned into her pillow. She didn't want to be looked after anymore.

"_She said Iyashi can look after her._" The voice was feminine... Kurenai?

"_That's... good..._" The man was far too hesitant about the prospect."_I'll meet you outside in a moment._"

When she finally lifted her head, Kakashi was leaning against the doorframe. She hadn't been dreaming after all. "You're leaving now?" she grumbled, sitting up far too quickly than she should have.

Kakashi was by her side before the cry could even leave her lips. She didn't look at him as he took her hand. She couldn't. He was going off to fight her battle for her because she was too damn weak to fight it herself. "He's very powerful, you know," the lilac began, clinching her fists in the sheets. There was no doubt of Kakashi strength in her mind, but... if something happened to him, she would never forgive herself. "Just be careful, okay? I want to be done with this place."

She looked so worn down, so _tired_. And he couldn't blame her. So much had happened to her in such a short amount of time. "Try not to worry about me. I want you ready to leave by the time we get back," he ordered in mock-sternness. Any attempts to cheer her up were for naught; he had already lost her to her racing thoughts. Her gaze never lifted from her stark white knuckles. So much for not worrying.

He broke her concentration with a quick kiss to her temple. The abruptness of the action nearly made her jump out of her skin. Her plum eyes blinked owlishly after him as quietly made his exit. "H-Hey!" she squeaked abruptly as he reached for the door. The floodgates had been opened the day before, and she hadn't had the time to force them closed again. Emotion built up in her hoarse throat too quickly, until she burst before he could even turn around, "I love you."

Silence. She had even startled herself with the declaration. But as the Copy Nin whipped his head towards her, she repeated the words with much more conviction than before. "I _love _you." But as he stalked over to her, wordlessly, and caged her to the bed with his arms with a frown, her confidence began to wane. Maybe she should have saved those words for a moment more precious than this.

Though when he touched the cold metal of his headband to her forehead, she noticed his glare dissolve into something more playful. The look he gave her definitely read something along the lines of: '_You decided to wait until _now _to tell me?_' As he ran the fingers of one hand down her bruised and yellowing cheek, he pressed masked lips to hers so gently... too gently, as if a more impassioned action would cause her to break under his touch.

"I'm going to end this," he announced as he rose, determined, and his tone reminded her of a moment that felt like a lifetime ago. _'We'll finish this when I get back from my mission.'_

The lilac was left pressing her hands to her lips, heart fluttering rapidly in her chest. How was this man able to make her feel so much with the simplest and softest of touches? Part of her wished he could stay just for a little while longer. Rairakku called out to him with a squeak as he entered the hallway, "I want less cloth and more skin next time, okay?"

And he left wondering if she realized the implications of that.

* * *

><p>It took hours to get to the location of the base. The small island was located north-east of mainland, and it took a frustratingly long ship ride to get there. By the time they arrived, it was nightfall. The Mizukage was not moving forward unprepared, though. Each Kiri team separated and entered the island from different points. She had what amounted to a small army accompanying her.<p>

Which left the Konoha shinobi wondering; just how large was Seijiya's faction? Not only that, but she had asked them to accompany her and her team, personally. Why even invite them there to fight alongside them so amiably when they appeared to be in the midst of a small civil war? Unless, of course, the Mizukage the foreigners to demonstrate how quickly she could crush such a threat. Kakashi wouldn't put it past her.

The terrain of the island was not at all unlike the mainland. The signature mist was all around them. It billowed up past the trees and blocked most of the light from the moon. The thick air in this country was so suffocating. The Kiri ninja were much more used to fighting in this, Kakashi mused. His team might be at a disadvantage here.

Two shinobi in front of them signaled for the team to stop. "Be on your guard," the first whispered ahead of them. He drew his finger the air to reveal the most hidden of wires. "Traps. Harder to find in the dark." Not to mention the mist. They were definitely experts.

The other joined him to disable the pesky thing, a process that must have taken only seconds for the pair. They were good. The second turned to the Mizukage. "We could lead the way on ahead. Clear a path?"

After a moment of consideration, the woman nodded, "Go." And they disappeared through the fog.

They began advancing at a slower pace. About half an hour passed and they still saw no sign of the base. In the meantime, the Kiri nin in accompanying them whispered plans and battle strategy they had already began discussing on the trip over, making sure their Konoha allies were up to speed on some of the enemies' abilities. They'd be no use if they didn't know how to work with them in battle, after all.

The planning was brought to an abrupt halt, though. The ground began to shake beneath them. Flares of light rose from the distance. Something, or someone, had set off bombs all across the island. A spark ignited through the mist. Urgent voices cut through the thick air—

"_Mizukage-sama!_"

Kakashi ordered his team to get _out of the way_—

And the ground shattered beneath them.

* * *

><p>Separated. Scattered from one another. Ears were ringing painfully. Vision too clouded with dust and debris. The only coherent thought in his mind was that the enemy had just <em>blown this island half to hell.<em> The silver haired man managed to push some of the rubble off of him and stood, but he didn't see Asuma or Gai or Kurenai.

"Well, well... What's this?" Kakashi stared at the smirking, older blonde man staring down at him from the top of a pile of rubble. There was something about his appearance and the way he carried himself that was annoyingly familiar. Had they met before? "Surprised? Yes, we knew you were coming. Seijiya-sama thought it'd be best to go on the offensive."

"You Konoha shinobi haven't left yet?" he questioned mockingly. "That little _bitch_ must be valuable to your village." He ran a finger down the long, fresh scar that ran from the length of his aging face. This must be the one Rairakku had injured while she was escaping. His thin lips curled up into a smile as he sneered knowingly, "Or maybe... just to you?"

The man looked around them with a pout. "Shame you didn't bring her with you. I never got to finish my fun with her, and she did make off with my favorite knife," he sighed dramatically, a tinge of real frustration evident in his voice as he twirled his beloved weapon's replacement in his hand. "This one doesn't really do it from me, you know?"

Suddenly, Kakashi didn't feel very disoriented. "Kimpatsu?" he asked. This was the man the Mizukage was talking about. This was the one who tortured Rairakku. The one who bound her arms and legs with wire. The one who nearly fatally wounded her. If she hadn't escaped, she probably would have died by his hands.

The blonde's face lit up, as if he was just paid a huge compliment. "Oh did she mention me? How sweet. So, really, why are you here? Payback?" His grin widen further at the prospect.

"No," the Copy Nin answered firmly, truthfully. He was not here for revenge. He was here to do the right thing, and he doubted Rairakku would sleep any better if he killed the man in front of him. She might even be angry with him for fighting another battle for her.

Of course, he thought as he pulled a kunai from its holster, he wasn't going to back down either.

* * *

><p><strong>Extremely Important AN**: I'm sorry this chapter took so long to get out. Kind of in the "I hate school. Why am I majoring in this? I don't want to do this for a living," phase of college and am trying to figure out what to do with my life. (The stress is literally wreaking havoc on my poor, frail body.)

I'd like to turn your attention to this review left by an anonymous user: "_Hey like your story just want to put this idea in your head about a story for otonashi from birth to death. Doesn't have to be long but I would like to read it if you do write it._"

I have not been able get the idea out of my head since I've seen this! It. Is. Haunting. Me. I will not be content until it is written. I can't believe I didn't think of it before! Would anyone else be interested in reading this? Because I am definitely going to be writing it! And I would love to share Otonashi's story with you! Though, I may put it and any future "bonus chapters" in a separate story. Maybe call it _Memories_ or something? Let me know what you think either on a review here or via my tumblr page.

Also, while we're at it, does anyone else have anyone else have any _absolutely brilliant _ideas relating to this story that they want to share with me? Anything I've mentioned in the story that you would like to know more about? What-if scenarios? Prompts? AUs? Literally anything. Just lay it on me. I want more awesome ideas.


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